Secret of men who captivate women (attract them on msn etc)

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Tom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,542
Location: Where you least expect it

23 Apr 2009, 12:09 pm

copied from another forum -

He "tells them about themselves", telling them flattering things he's noticed about them - "I've noticed you're a very deep, artistic lady" "I've noticed you're very spiritual" "I've noticed you're very kind and caring".

Then he asks them deeper questions, "has this affected you in your life, have people taken advantage". It's showing interest - but not showing interest in the superficial "what are your hobbies, what is your job" way that small talk failures do. Showing a deep interest in their inner world and how they want to be seen.

Or, his "noticing" is done in a light hearted way "he he, I've noticed you're a lot of fun, you're crazy, I don't think i could handle you!" "you're really wild, you're too wild for me!"

Both these approaches cause the woman to ask "why, why do you say that, what is it about me that makes you think that?" Then he can "tell them more about themselves".."well, its because you said (blah blah), that shows you are that type of person, it's because you do "such and such", that tells me your psychological type".

Everyone is fascinated to hear about themselves, you are your own favourite subject, so the women are captivated to hear this guy who "sees into their soul", "knows you better than you know yourself", and they want to hear his observations about them. They want to know what he can teach them about themselves.

It's all made up, of course - all the observations are what he thinks they want to hear, what would be most flattering, not what he really thinks.



Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

23 Apr 2009, 12:12 pm

manipulative ahole

it's also inappropriate to talk about personal, deep issue on first dates.


_________________
Some of the threads I started are really long - yeay!


Nim
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: Away

23 Apr 2009, 12:24 pm

I proclaim that the deep emotional issues are best left addressed during the divorce.



Sorenna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 519

23 Apr 2009, 2:55 pm

Women can tell a guy who is a shallow shafter.

By the second conersation he is usualy busted.



JohnHopkins
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,463

23 Apr 2009, 3:37 pm

Firstly, it's entirely possible to say all of these things without 1. being manipulative and/or 2. lying.

Secondly, if you really click with someone, it's entirely possible to talk about personal stuff on the first date. I have plenty of times.



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

23 Apr 2009, 4:00 pm

While I don't agree with being manipulative, it all boils down to marketing. If this is what I have do to gets girls to respond to me on dating sites, then I'll do it. Sure, I might be the best romantic partner that girl has ever had, but in order to get her to see that, manipulation is a necessary evil.



protest_the_hero
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2008
Age: 185
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,011

23 Apr 2009, 4:27 pm

Makes sense. I love compliments (I'm a guy but whatever...), especially insightful or creative ones.



Raikai
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 72
Location: Shropshire

24 Apr 2009, 4:33 am

Sorenna wrote:
Women can tell a guy who is a shallow shafter.

By the second conersation he is usualy busted.


True!