Do people say you're black and white even though you....

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07 May 2009, 6:53 pm

don't think you are?


People keep thinking I am black and white but I can see the gray areas too. The last person who told me I am was my therapist so I told her I can see the gray areas and gave her a couple examples. "It's illegal to kill people but the gray area is it's legal to kill someone if they are trying to kill you but it has to be in the act" and she laughs. Then I say "It's rude to hang up on people, it's not rude if you get a cold call or it's a telemarketer, or someone is being rude to you or the person is drunk."
Then she told me I can see a little gray. Little?



bringram
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07 May 2009, 7:13 pm

I have a constant battle with my grandmother. She tells me I'm quick to judge and judgemental, that my thinking is too rigid. I Think I deal with facts. I think she's off in la-la land and seeing things through rose colored glasses. Whenever facts interfere with her happy thoughts she gets ticked off. She especially gets ticked off when reality interferes with her memory of she gets confused because of the modern world around her.



gbollard
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07 May 2009, 8:27 pm

Lets stay with one easy example (to reduce confusion) and see how much grey you see.

It's illegal to kill people.
Ignoring the law, the rule is simply.. Killing people = No.

Your Exception;
- Accidental killing in self defense.

How do you feel about these other possible exceptions?
- When you're at war with them (even if you're a pacifist and you just got drafted)
- If their quality of life falls below a minimum and they ask to die
- They've committed a number of evil crimes and the state decides that they must die
- They've committed a serious atrocity against you and you decide (against the state) that they must die
- If they don't die, ten other people will die. (imagine a hostage situation)

Can anyone think of other examples?



millie
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07 May 2009, 8:49 pm

i have b and w thinking. i work on trying to go to grey.
others still tell me i have no empathy and i also have a stark and extreme view of things.
(they should have seen me twenty years ago....)



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07 May 2009, 9:03 pm

A trait of anti-social personality disorder(sociopath) is thinking in extreme terms which means black and white.



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07 May 2009, 9:38 pm

people have different shades of grey though

mine would definitly conflict with the majority of society's grey shade



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07 May 2009, 9:58 pm

I think in Black and White terms, but I see so many paths and distinctions that it ends up looking grey to me. Others see me as black and white, but they don't understand the extent that I've weighed the options and followed the paths.


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07 May 2009, 10:45 pm

My boss made this exact observation of me at my annual review like 2 weeks ago. I was sort of taken aback because I am really not a black-and-white thinker, but I thought about it and at least for me, the judgment had nothing to do with "thinking". He has no idea what I'm thinking, whether he believes he does or not. It's based on observable action, which makes sense because if I need to make a snap decision in the workplace, as much as I'd like to sit and ponder the pros and cons every which way, I HAVE to make a decision and stick to it. I can't afford to be flexible once I've made a decision, and hence, started on a course of action, because that would just put me back at square one. So I could very easily see how someone who observed me at work, who doesn't know me that well, could make that judgment of me.

I don't know about others, but that's how it applies to me I guess.