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Fall and forgetting 09-10-2009 07:10 pm Stinkypuppy's Blog
I've been in Connecticut for six years now... and one thing I never get used to about New England is the fall season with its explosion of reds and yellows as the leaves change color and the temperature begins to drop. And just as the wind blows the leaves around and stirs things up, I give pause and reflect on some of the things and people that have come and gone in my life. Wow there sure have been so many, it seems. Could I contact them again, the shadows from my past? I suppose I could, but do I really want to? I don't know. Time changes. People change. I've changed. Yet I wish some things could last forever.
I'm not the kind of person who particularly likes to talk about his past. It's not so much that I regret it. I don't. My past made me the kind of person I am today, and my mistakes ensure that I keep my feet on the ground with a firm sense of humility. Do you know the saying, "forgive and forget"? Well I can forgive, but I never ever forget, because the day I forget is the day I disregard the lesson that I should've learned. Not forgetting bad experiences gradually wears down on my mind, unfortunately. I know that my mistakes have hurt a lot of people, especially those who've gotten close to me, but I didn't know any better then. I do now.
It'd be great one day to go out into the world once again, and simply sit and admire the leaves as they change color. Witnessing the simplicity of nature firsthand is beyond compare. Despite my follies, nature continues undeterred, powerful and constant in its cycle. The way things are, instead of the way things could be. I am me, no more, no less.