Well, i do not yet know what will be the title. The date was a disaster. Imagine the girl who is neither good looking, nor intelligent as i imagined. I imagined more from her. Anyway, let us not talk about her again.
I am a bit disappointed, but as we speak i am thinking of something new...i made a new friend. not exactly a friend. but she will remain that as long as she is with that man. i really like her. and i can imagine something more. as much as she does. or at least i hope that she's true about all the things we spoke of.
i know her for about 2 years and you know how the people think about me in class... but she always was with me. and she defended me against them even when i did not know about it. she is so sweet and i like her so much...like is not the best word, but i will have to stick to it as long as things stay this way. but you all know me... i always search for the true one. and she might be.
damn...she is the one, and if things get right then i am going to be the happiest person ever on this earth. she knows much about me and still can say that she wants me. well... much but not exactly everything. but i do not fear... i will find her acceptance, no matter who i am. i am accepted by someone, that special someone. the only thing i have to do is wait, and until things get clear i try to live. i really hope that this is true. i mean...i would be really hurt if it wouldn't be...but i know it is. and it will be...god..it always was, and she always was around me. we flirted sometimes, and our eyes met a hundred times. something started between us long ago. but it is going to unfold even more in time. or at least i hope. she said that she is not sure that she needs an everlasting relationship now, but hell...no one is ready for such a thing. it just happens. you just wake up one day and realize that you will not going to be with anyone else in your life, or at least you do not plan to be...this is the way. so... things are yet to become perfect...but i stepped on a path around two weeks ago, and now... 3:08 am, i realize what it was. she means it. and i sure as hell mean too... she is not just a partner, nor a love, nor a friend. she ... i do not know yet...the only thing i am sure of is that one day, i am going to wake up next to her. and make her some breakfast, wake her up with a kiss and say: i love you honey. perhaps it's a cliche. but the best things in life were immortalized by dozens of movies and books through the time...and this is basically a cliche... people are not able to accept a perfect relationship because it is a cliche...movies made it a cliche...and my life is so original and unrepeatable that this is the cliche i am dreaming of.
okay...it is going to end soon. i am starting to feel that i have told everything i wanted...just one thing. sorry for repeating things in my posts, or miswriting something etc, but i am trying to write it for the first draft so it is closest to what i feel and think.

time to think about some nice title...i can't think of something original...i'd think of something related to waiting, or expecting the perfect ending. because my life is a big cliffhanger now...it is kinda funny now...because you already now the title. i realized only now...

anyway...have nice time around. i will be here tomorrow i hope...to write some nice post, or if something happens, well, you will be the first i am going to report.

thanks for listening again children.

to give the perfect ending i'd like to share one of my favourites which is pretty much actual for this time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8tuTSi6Sck
Nina Simone - Feeling Good.
it is just about what i feel now...i am free, and i'm feeling good.

and well. if You read this too, perhaps when i'm still sleeping, i want to tell you that i am dreaming of you right now:)

for everyone else: grab the sword and fight the...well, there's much to fight for and fight against, i hope you will choose the cause you fight for carefully. it all depends on you. there are always going to be heroes and villains. and no matter what you choose, the black hat or the S on your chest, never give up. in the end it does not matter who won and who lost. it matters that you fought and strived hard...and that is a thing to be remembered to.