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love my aspie aaron xoxo 10-31-2011 02:55 am AspiesGirlfriend's Blog
Let me start by saying what a pleasure it was to get to know my boyfriend, Aaron. We've known one another for almost two months now and started dating exclusively a month ago this past Friday. He is such a refreshingly unique and lovable man. He's intelligent- he knows so many random things and is fantastic with trivia questions. He is, without a doubt, the most considerate man I've met.... he takes detail in the little things... like not getting impatient while waiting for me to finish getting ready for our date... or reminding me of how pretty I am... and he always surprises me with these things... like this evening, he was dropping me off at my home and I had to grab something from my house for him to take home... so I hopped out and said I'd be right back. I came back and there he was standing outside the door. And when I asked him why he had came to the door, he responded as if it were so obvious- "It's cold outside and I didn't want you to have to come out here again... go inside and I'll call you when I get home." He really appreciates me, too. He will never forget to thank me for doing something special just for him... or even if it wasn't such a big deal, he's always showing his gratitude. He's the first one to lend a helping hand and the last one to leave the scene. His mind is filled with a bunch of great ideas and new concepts, keeping the conversation ebbing and flowing. We appreciate those moments in life when we don't even need conversation to enjoy ourselves, but we enjoy the activity we're participating.. even if it's a silent one. He is very loyal and generous. Just a bunch of things. His sense of humor was the first thing I came to appreciate because of his usage of puns and other intelligent subtleties. He's a goofy goober and I love him. My family loves him (the first boyfriend they love, and I'm 23 yrs old). And vise versa.
Having said that,
I'm worried. Because he's in between jobs and living with his mother at the moment, and has always had trouble in the past holding onto a job, having gone through 40 of them, he guesstimated. We've discussed the possibilities of careers where he doesn't need too much social interaction... like a janitor, a security guard, or a file clerk, even. He was kicking around the idea of living off of the gov't in group housing for autistic people. It bothered me that he was thinking about it and his mother was even telling him he should try that. I feel like that kind of lifestyle leaves no room for growth, and no room for improvement. How can he continue to use his coping mechanisms if he's cut off from society? How can he feel fulfilled or purposeful without a career of some sort? I really do believe in the idea that work is intrinsically good for us as human beings. And a big one I also brought up... how can he and I hope for a future with him collecting from the state and relying on them to live, without making a living wage? The idea of a group home leaves no room for our relationship to grow or for him to grow as a person. We watched some motivational videos on youtube after discussing this situation he's in, and he told me it made him feel much better. Tomorrow, he's going to go see some sort of temp agency, I think that's what he said. Hopefully it goes over well. Any ideas on what he can do that would be a beneficial job? He loves broadcasting and used to do it, but it doesn't pay a living wage... any ideas? Also, how do I cope when he gets depressed and doesn't want to try? I try to be his cheerleader and it's usually easy. Tonight was tough... but we made it through, after a couple tears, some kisses, hugs, and a couple motivational speeches.