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I like my conversations heard and not seen
posted at 03:24 pm on 02-09-2007
I consider myself a visual person but I canít stand watching TV. Itís not the visual alone that bothers me but itís the audio and visual together at the same time that makes it impossible to concentrate on the program. So the only way I can sit in a room and watch television is if there is caption across the screen to help me focus in on whatís being said.
In real life there is no caption to help me decipher between what I see and what is being said to me and if I donít picture the sounds of the words as subtitles I get lost in the conversation and donít know whatís going on.
This is difficult to carry out because it takes time for the spoken words of other people to form text in my mind and stimulate a response from me. Because of my slow output most people assume Iím dumb or that Iím not listing to what they have to say and this causes confusion for both parts.
I find peopleís faces to be visually overwhelming stimuli when I look in their eyes Iím caught like a deer in head lights and I canít get free. Also itís hard for me to focus both on hearing a conversation and seeing the person speak before me. If I have to focus on both senses I forget what is being said and lose reception like a dropped call.
This is why when most people ask me questions face to face I look away so I donít have to take in what I see and what I hear simultaneously and I can focus on the dialogue clearly without hesitation.
A day in the life
posted at 07:49 pm on 02-07-2007
Iíve bee quite glum worrying about my future, mostly. I found out that I have to take AP classes for neurological psychology. Damn it I should have known that!!
I mean I donít have to take the classes but my counselor told me it was a good idea to do so if I wanted to go into that field.
Iím parodied because I wonít turn in my homework or finish all my assignments and no college will pick me because of my poor GPA.
I also want to be a fashion designer and I know theyíre two extremely different things and it makes me seem a bit undecided to have such an oxymoron of a career choice but Iím 99% sure that this is what I want to do with the rest of my existence.
posted at 01:23 pm on 10-03-2006
posted at 01:22 pm on 10-03-2006
Lack of eye contact In Conversation/ intense gaze
Unintelligible speech when nervous
sloppy/poor hand wringing.
fear of loud noises.
serious personal space issues
Anxiety attacks. Claustrophobia
Strong need to collect things. Inability to throw things away
Severely awkward in social situations.
Daydream go into sleep like trances.
unable to deal with change in an age oproreate manner
posted at 07:19 pm on 01-31-2006
posted at 08:14 pm on 01-23-2006
People tell me my gaze is too intense. I stare of into space a lot so I get ridiculed at school for staring at someone when I didnít realize they were in front of me. I nearly got into several fights this year because people tend to think Iím challenging them with an evil glare. This lady on the city bus started yelling at me because she didnít like the way I was looking at her child. I wasnít even playing attention to the little girl I was looking out the window. My neighbor who happened to be on the bus at the time came to my defense and told the lady that I was harmless and just had very serious eyes. Last week my best friend was talking to me and I didnít reply I just looked at her. She got mad and told me that I have a way of looking at people that makes them feel like s*hit.
Sometimes I wonít even look at a person when they are talking to me and they have to ask for my eye contact. Before I was diagnosed my boyfriendís dad would always inform me of this problem. Strangers are always informing me as well. I told one guy about my autism and the true reason why I failed to meet his gaze in conversation and he thought I was lying.