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EvilKimEvil's Blog Back to Blog Directory
posted at 06:15 pm on 06-09-2008
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Never mind. posted at 06:15 pm on 06-09-2008
I posted this blog because I was accidentally banned from the forums due to being assigned a random recycled IP address. I solved the problem by turning my modem off and then on again. Many thanks to lau for explaining what happened and how to fix it.
I might be gone for a while, or even for good because as of yesterday, when I try to post, I get this message:
[quote]phpBB : Critical Error
Sorry. Tor users must get permission from the site admin before being allowed to post. You can email alex@wrongplanet.net to request an exemption from this rule.[/quote]
It seems to only apply to the forums, but that's the only part of the site I use regularly. So I guess if I don't get this "exemption" I won't be posting anymore.
I didn't even know what a "Tor user" was until I got this message. I looked it up and found out that Tor is some kind of software. As far as I know, I am not a Tor user. I have not had any such software installed on my computer, nor has my computer ever been used by anyone other than myself (to my knowledge). I have a MacBook. I use Safari and Firefox. I have cable Internet service. I don't have a wireless network. I've tried logging out and back in, and using different browsers. That has no effect. I've disconnected and reconnected the cable modem. I'm still a "Tor user" and I get the same message when I try to post.
So until this gets sorted out and I'm allowed to post again, I'd like to say goodbye to everyone on WP. I've had some good times on this site. It's been nice knowing you all, and best of luck with your endeavors.
Kim
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What Women Find Attractive, In My Experience posted at 12:57 pm on 05-21-2008
I wrote this post and then I realized it was relevant to so many posts in the Love & Dating forum, I might as well make it a blog entry so I can just link to it from now on. It's based on my observations of what women find attractive in men - how common myths are usually twisted and simplified versions of the real story. Here it is:
I find that most women want a man who is entertaining, above all else. The second most important thing is for the man to be successful in some way, especially a way that is important to that individual woman. Third on the list is niceness.
Being entertaining can mean being funny and charming in a conventional way, or it can mean having a sense of humor that is offensive to some people, or it can mean being alternately charming and rude in a bizarre, quirky way. I think this is the origin of the "women like jerks" myth. What is overlooked is that most women prefer a guy who is funny, spontaneous, charming, and witty [i]without being a jerk[/i]. The catch is that many women would choose a funny, charming, successful jerk over a boring nice guy with no sense of humor. But neither would be considered ideal!
The success thing gets misunderstood a lot too. Some women really do judge a guy by how much money he makes, but most women look for other forms of success. It is really attractive when a guy puts a lot of effort into something he likes and is fairly good at it, whether or not he makes any money at it. This is one reason why guys in bands get so much action, as do athletes. But it doesn't have to be something in the public eye. If you tell a girl you're a writer or an artist, that's often a turn-on. Unfortunately, this does not always apply to things that most women don't care about or understand such as computer programming or chemistry - unless you're extremely successful, at the top of your field. The good news is that knowledge is included as a form of success. A guy who is extremely knowledgeable, whether it's about one thing or many things, and wants to share this knowledge without bragging about it is attractive!
Yes, niceness is important too. And this can come in different forms. There are women who like guys who are really nice to them, and maybe their friends too, yet mean to everyone else because this makes them feel special (another source of the "women like jerks" myths). But most women like guys who are laid-back, nice, polite, and not interested in fighting (although, yes, there are some women who thrive on drama). So this is important, but its definition varies from woman to woman, just like everything else.
In my case, for example, I prefer a guy who is really nice to me and has an irreverent, quirky, sarcastic sense of humor, and is really knowledgeable about something I'm interested in. I don't like jerks and I don't care about money or physical attractiveness in the traditional sense. When I talk to other girls about guys, most of them feel the same way! Girls who are really into a certain kind of music want a boyfriend who's into the same music and is good at playing it or knowledgeable about it and is nice and is funny/charming/fun to hang out with.
Long explanation, I know, but I think it's all pretty simple. The criteria are:
1. Entertainment Value
2. Success/Talent/Knowledge
3. Kindness & Courtesy
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Enjoying being impossible to contact. posted at 11:31 pm on 04-09-2008
A few weeks ago, I moved halfway across the country. Today, I changed my phone number. I have only a cell phone and no permanent address yet. I emailed my new phone number to one person, but I can't bring myself to give it to anyone else just yet. I'm really enjoying being unreachable. I wonder how long I'll be able to hold out. I wonder how long I'd have to be completely unreachable before I get into some serious trouble as a result.
I'll probably make myself do the right thing and give it to the necessary people tomorrow or the next day. My boss, family, etc. It's just that whenever someone calls me, it's to tell me to do something - provide information, do certain things for work, etc. There's always a sense of urgency that makes me uncomfortable. These people have my email address, so they should be able to accomplish whatever they want to accomplish without calling me. I kind of wish I didn't even have a phone.
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To Tell or Not to Tell? posted at 07:39 pm on 02-10-2008
It's getting harder to keep my AS a secret from those I'm closest to. My boyfriend keeps pointing out that I'm displaying the wrong emotion for the situation. I say, "But I'm not feeling that way. I have no idea why I seem that way," and he just looks baffled. This happens almost every day. It would be easier just to say, "It's because of AS."
Other people I interact with get offended by the same kind of thing, and my bluntness, and my avoidance of eye contact, and the fact that I don't always acknowledge them when they speak to me. Telling them about AS would help them understand that I don't mean to be unfriendly.
Unfortunately, once I tell someone, I can never take it back, and I fear that it could open the door to a list of problems I'm not prepared to deal with. I could be labeled Developmentally Disabled (with the accompanying stereotypes) in the eyes of everyone I know. Some people would say I was buying into a trend or a form of propaganda. Others would say I was poisoned by mercury, not breast-fed, subjected to too much TV, or some other myth. And I'd have to spend my time disagreeing with these people when I'd rather just be left alone. Or, worse, they'd say these things behind my back exclusively and I'd never get a chance to defend myself.
So I still don't know if it's worth it. I don't know if I trust anyone enough to take the inevitable risk.
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