|
Fnord's Blog Back to Blog Directory
The Scientific Method vs. Delusion, Fantasy, and Ignorance posted at 03:09 pm on 03-24-2009
The Scientific Method
1) Develop a new hypothesis. A hypothesis is merely an idea that is usually based on passive observations of natural events. An idea does not have to be supported, but if it does not, then it remains only an idea.
2) Search for related data, which may be found in the results of previous research, whether or not the results of the previous research actually support the previous research.
3) If existing data does not support the hypothesis, then return to step 1.
4) Create a new supporting theory. A theory attempts to explain the hypothesis in a cause-and-effect manner. Never propose a theory that is not supported by available evidence.
5) Perform experiments to test the theory. Experiments must be appropriate to the proposed theory, and must be both repeatable and verifiable.
6) If the experimental results do not support the theory, then return to step 4.
7) Record findings and submit to peer-review process. A peer group is composed of professional researchers in the field of study that the theory addresses. The peer group will first examine the initial data for factual errors, then the theory for errors of reasoning, and then perform the same experiments under the same conditions to validate or invalidate the theory.
8) If the peer-review process produces conflicting evidence, then return to step 4.
9) At this point, the theory becomes a scientific principle.
10) Publish the results.
The Fantasy Method for Promoting Delusion and Ignorance
1) Form an opinion. This opinion does not have to be founded on anything other than dreams, fantasies, fears, hallucinations, ignorance, imagination, legends, myths, prejudices, speculation, superstitions, suspicions, or wishful thinking.
2) Search for supporting data. If any data conflicts with the original opinion then discredit, distort, or ignore the conflicting data. If the conflicting facts or opinions can not be adequately discredited, then the person(s) presenting the conflicting facts or opinions (the “critic” or “skeptic”) must be discredited.
3) Publish the opinion.
4) If any critic or skeptic comes forward with facts or opinions that conflict with the original opinion then discredit, distort, or ignore the conflicting facts, while simultaneously discrediting the person(s) presenting the conflicting facts or opinions.
5) Expand the original opinion into unrelated fields of interest.
6) Repeat from Step 2.
Note that while the Scientific Method is self-correcting and tends to discard and ignore invalid ideas, the Fantasy method does not allow for correction, and thus actually promotes ideas that have no validity in the real world.
The Scientific Method is used by those who would seek to determine The Truth about life, the universe, and everything, while those who use the Fantasy Method seek only to gain notoriety through the dissemination and repetition of urban myths, conspiracy theories, and superstitious nonsense.
(Comments)
You Could Be Emo If: posted at 03:37 pm on 11-25-2008
I've been adding one or two lines to this article each day since I started it. All of what follows below has been derived in some way from the emotive posts found on the Wrong Planet website. Credit is given only to those who openly submit an entry to this list and who give permission to post it. Let's start off with a definition:
Emo: A State of intense narcissism pretentiously wrapped in delusional, yet frivolous self-pity.
And now the list:
You Could Be Emo If:
- A threat of suicide is your ultimate method of winning an argument.
- All the belts you own are studded.
- An anime bishonen was your very first crush.
- An apology is nothing without a dramatic performance worthy of an acting award.
- An apology is nothing without utter debasement and humiliation of the person saying, "I'm sorry."
- An argument is never over until YOU decide that it's over.
- Anime is not just everything, it's the only thing.
- At least one pair of boots you own has at least one buckle.
- Being ignored is an intolerable crime.
- Being in a relationship is more important than ever making a significant contribution to it.
- Being laughed at is not as devastating as being ignored.
- Being paid attention to is an intolerable crime.
- Crying comes as natural to you as breathing.
- Crying is how you introduce yourself to strangers.
- Depriving others of your presence is your favorite way of getting back at them.
- Each piece of poetry you write is either an exposé of injustice, a suicide note, or both.
- Eeyore's optimism depresses you.
- Every arrival is a grand entrance, and every departure is a grand exit.
- Everyone should stop whatever they are doing in order to attend to your feelings.
- Goths avoid being seen with you.
- Goths call you a freak.
- Having good intentions is important as long as you don't act on them.
- Having the final word in an argument is more important than actually being right.
- Inflicting pain upon yourself is the only way for you to confirm that you are still alive.
- Inflicting pain upon yourself is your favorite way of punishing others.
- It's impossible for you to be happy in a world where other people know how to have a good time, especially if it's without you.
- It's more important for you to identify with the descriptions in this list than to ever submit a contribution to it.
- It's more important to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all.
- Long, rambling, ranting emails, blogs and website posts are your favorite tools of communication.
- MySpace removes your photograph for being too dramatic.
- No one else suffers as much as you do just for being alive.
- No one understands you, not even yourself.
- Nobody understands the way you feel, and wouldn't even care if they did.
- Only the saddest music moves you.
- People disagree with you only because they hate you.
- People should like you no matter how disruptive your behavior is.
- Punishing others involves removing yourself from their presence.
- Saving face is more important than doing the right thing.
- Someone pays you a compliment, and you feel anger for their stupidity.
- Someone tells you that they love you, and you react by feeling sorry for them.
- Something that happened long ago is suddenly worth getting emotional about.
- Suicide is a practical option to any set of choices.
- The jeans you wear could not be any tighter if they had been spray-painted on.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is that of an oncoming train.
- The lives of fictional characters are infinitely more compelling than your own.
- The whole world is laughing at you.
- The world would never notice if you suddenly ceased to exist.
- This list angers and/or depresses you.
- When others object to your behavior, you would rather banish them from your presence than show any remorse for your actions.
- When someone criticizes your favorite artist, you immediately have a meltdown.
- You are reasonable only when people agree with you.
- You break up with someone, and then become angry or depressed when they form another relationship.
- You can identify more than 3 shades of black.
- You can not leave a group of people without first blaming them for driving you away.
- You can't stand your family, especially if they love and support you.
- You can't stand your family.
- You come closest to true joy only when listening to sad music.
- You exist solely to be insulted and treated like a freak.
- You fall in love only with those people that are completely indifferent or unattainable to you.
- You feel more comfortable in a miserable, yet familiar situation than in seeking an uncertain resolution from it.
- You go into mourning whenever someone else gets a new boy- or girl-friend.
- You hate going out-of-doors.
- You hate seeing people having fun together, telling jokes, and playing; as a result, you are often mistaken for a Methodist.
- You have a blind spot for the one common factor in all your troubles, especially when that one common factor is you.
- You have a dramatic picture on Myspace.
- You have ever mistaken niceness for interest, interest for friendship, friendship for committment, committment for love, or love for ownership.
- You have ever told someone that it would be their fault if you should ever decide to commit suicide.
- You have more scar tissue on your wrists than Evel Knievel does on his whole body.
- You have revolving credit at all the second-hand stores.
- You hide yourself away from the world, and then feel miserable because no one has found you.
- You keep a paper-based diary.
- You know how the terms "Across the Street," "Around the Bend," and "Down the Road" apply to cutting and suicide.
- You know that no one understands you, and that no one ever will.
- You know the difference between Indo, Metal, and Screamo.
- You know what you would look like as an anime character.
- You paint your fingernails black (even if you're a guy).
- You quote song lyrics that are meaningful to you as part of everyday conversation.
- You rush to the store for a razorblade sale.
- You scribble song lyrics on every writable surface.
- You see the emotional content in even the most insignificant event.
- You shop at second hand stores, even though you can afford Neiman-Marcus.
- You show your love and admiration for someone by copying their style, and then feel betrayed when they change it.
- You smile only when someone else dies ... alone ... at night ... naked ... in the rain ...
- You sterilise your razor blades before you cut yourself.
- You think eating more than one chicken nugget is pigging out.
- You think rambling freeverse is the highest form of poetry.
- You threaten to have a meltdown whenever things don't go your way.
- You try hard to not be noticed, and then become angry or depressed when people ignore you.
- You use the number of friends you have to determine the degree of your self-worth.
- You wear makeup and clothing designed to attract attention, and then become angry or depressed when people notice you.
- You wear more eyeliner than any three women you know, and you're a guy.
- You would rather banish everyone else and change all the rules to your favor than conform to the wishes of others and the established rules.
- You would rather risk banishment and ostracism than ever admit that you over-reacted to something someone else did or said.
- You would rather wallow in self-pity than forgive those who have hurt you.
- Your emotional state is all that matters, and all that should matter to anyone else.
- Your fingernails are black.
- Your funeral is not only planned, it is scripted.
- Your hair is not black enough.
- Your mating cry is a heart-felt "You don't know me at all!"
- Your problems are the worst that anyone, anywhere has ever had to endure.
- You've drawn yourself as an anime character.
(Comments)
Traditional Nuclear Families Go Back To The Stone Age! posted at 10:29 pm on 11-18-2008
Something to think about...
Archeological excavation of a Stone Age burial site in central Germany has yielded the earliest evidence of people living together as a family. The 4,600-year-old grave contained the remains of a man, woman and two youngsters, and DNA analysis shows they were a mother, a father and their two children.
Thus, the "Traditional Nuclear Family" precedes Christianity by about 2,600 years. This is roughly the same period of time as Imhotep, Vizier of Egypt, and the construction of the Great Sphinx and pyramids at Giza.
The abstract of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences article may be viewed here...
http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2008/11/17/0807592105.abstract?sid=d0dedba8-e22e-4236-a7aa-528269ee6c38
A more newsworthy treatment of this find may be viewed here...
http://www.smh.com.au/news/specials/science/cold-case-worlds-oldest-family-identified/2008/11/17/1226770354389.html
Thus, the Christians can not claim to have invented marriage. Nor can the "Gay Rights" activists claim that the "Traditional Nuclear Family" originated just a few hundred years ago, when instead such families existed during the Stone Age, before even the Biblical Old Testament was written!
(Comments)
Democracy Destroys Education posted at 09:05 pm on 11-04-2008
What I want to fix your attention on is the vast overall movement towards the discrediting, and finally the elimination, of every kind of human excellence -- moral, cultural, social or intellectual. And is it not pretty to notice how 'democracy' (in the incantatory sense) is now doing for us the work that was once done by the most ancient dictatorships, and by the same methods?
The basic proposal of the new education is to be that dunces and idlers must not be made to feel inferior to intelligent and industrious pupils. That would be 'undemocratic.' Children who are fit to proceed may be artificially kept back, because the others would get a trauma by being left behind. The bright pupil thus remains democratically fettered to his own age group throughout his school career, and a boy who would be capable of tackling Aeschylus or Dante sits listening to his coeval's attempts to spell out A CAT SAT ON A MAT.
We may reasonably hope for the virtual abolition of education when 'I'm as good as you' has fully had its way. All incentives to learn and all penalties for not learning will vanish. The few who might want to learn will be prevented; who are they to overtop their fellows? And anyway, the teachers -- or should I say nurses? -- will be far too busy reassuring the dunces and patting them on the back to waste any time on real teaching.
We shall no longer have to plan and toil to spread imperturbable conceit and incurable ignorance among men, as it will have been so trained and drilled into us that it shall have become our own pitiful nature.
(Comments)
You're Full of Crap! posted at 05:23 pm on 10-01-2008
Dear Everybody,
There is only one Universe, and Science is its religion. There is no Multiverse, nor is there an Otherverse. There are no alternate realities, no divergent timelines, and no parallel dimensions of existence. Everything that ever was, is, or ever shall be is contained within the one Universe. If there is a Heaven, and if there is a Hell, then they also exist within the Universe, and not in some nether realm that is reachable only by imaginary beings and creatures.
You who glance at a mathematical construct without full comprehension of its real meaning and then claim it as proof that something exists outside the Universe may as well claim that the world is ruled by elephants because you once saw a peanut on the ground.
You who believe that anything that can be imagined must be possible; and that if it is possible then it must also be real, can do better service to yourselves and humankind by imagining a world with no disease, hunger, pain or strife, and making it real right here on
Earth.
And you who are determined to hold onto your myths and your legends and your bed-time fantasy stories must do so without my support. I am not interested in any more speculative fictions presented as Absolute Truth. I do not care for your personal opinions on what constitute Life and Reality. Nor am I at all interested in yet another comic-book reading on the topic of “Why We Are Really Here.”
However, as a concession to the valid point that I do not know everything, I offer this opportunity: If there is indeed some other realm of existence outside of the Universe, and you know for certain that it is real then show it to me.
That’s all.
Show me your alternate realm of existence (or, if you’re too busy, show me how I can get there from here all by myself), and by this I mean that I would physically leave this Universe and then physically arrive in your Otherverse without requiring anything as inconvenient as death on my part in order to do so.
Finally, don’t bother throwing a bunch of metaphysic philosophy, esoteric double-talk, or religious mumbo-jumbo my way in the hope that I will be so impressed with your vocabulary that I’ll not notice that what you’re saying is all just another load of crap. I’ve been a church elder, a confidence artist, a fortune teller, and an electrical engineer, so I pretty much know when someone is handing me a load of crap in the guise of enlightenment. Besides, I’m probably older than you, so I’ll likely know better than you what a load of crap looks, sounds, and smells like.
Respectfully,
Fnord
Oct. 01, 2008 CE
(Comments)
To Whom It May Concern... posted at 04:50 pm on 09-29-2008
(Orignally posted on Friday Sep 12, 2008 at 4:13 am.)
To Whomsoever This May Concern,
From this point in time forward, I will not be held accountable for:
a) The emotional state of others, nor is any other person responsible for my emotional state;
b) Any debts incurred by anyone other than myself, whether those debts are financial, political, religious, or social in nature;
c) Any promises made without my written authorization by anyone other than myself, nor will I make promises for any other person without their express written permission;
d) The financial state of anyone other than myself and my legal dependants;
e) Any person or persons whose welfare depends upon the kindness of strangers;
f) Any comments, whether spoken or written, that are made by any person other than myself, other than those made by persons legally placed under my authority to act in specific circumstances;
g) Any actions, whether accidental or intended, that are made by any person other than myself, other than those made by persons legally placed under my authority to act in specific circumstances.
Deal With It.
F.
(Comments)
Irresponsible Victims posted at 08:10 pm on 09-14-2008
In a recent verbal coversation with a young woman, she admonished me for stating a series of facts that illuminated the flaws in an assertion she had made. “I don’t care if you are correct,” she said. “What gives you the right to criticize me?” She went on to say that just because she stated her claim in public, she had not granted anyone permission to criticize, or even comment on, anything she had said; and that furthermore, anyone who did so was attacking her out of pure hatred and meanness.
This is not uncommon. All too often, people want to be heard without giving due consideration for the accuracy and relevancy of what they say. Such people often cry foul, play the victim card, and rarely, if ever, accept the notion that a simple act of corrective instruction is not a personal attack. Both of these clearly demonstrate a willful abdication of responsibility for their own words.
What makes it worse is that the person did not even consider the validity or veracity of my statements. Had she done so, she may have seen that my statements were based on a quick study of readily available reference sources, which were in turn based upon real-world data, rather than wishful thinking or subjective idealism.
Then she continued, “It's perverts like you, who go around looking for victims in order to inflate your egos, that keep people like me from being happy. I hope that someday, someone rips you a new one, and then gets you thrown in jail for being such a smart-ass.” Further statements left no doubt as to what she thought were my sexual habits and whether or not the conditions of my birth were legitimate in nature.
What this young woman has failed to realize is that while the First Amendment to the Constitution may guarantee her Freedom of Speech, it does not, however, in any way grant her any freedom from criticism, and that mere possession of the faculty to speak does not automatically confer final authority on any given topic. Nor does the Freedom of Speech imbue her with the right to insult and slander others. Finally, she needs to realize that criticism of one’s personal views presents an opportunity to learn and grow, the opposite of which is to remain ignorant and immature.
This young woman also needs to listen and learn; she needs to grow and evolve; she needs to take full responsibility for the relevancy and veracity of her comments; and she needs to stop playing the victim whenever someone disagrees with her and points out where her beliefs fail any reasonable tests of credibility.
(Comments)
Victoria, You're the Best! posted at 06:11 pm on 09-12-2008
Why did I hire my secretary? Does it really matter as long as she's both able and willing to show up on time and perform her duties in exchange for a fair wage? Sure, she's pretty and knows it, but that's part of the job, and she knows that too. Yes, she's exceptionally intelligent. Yes, she's well-educated. And yes, she can type. But is it really offensive that the genetically-endowed qualities I hired her for are both her appearance and intelligence? I really don't think so. She is there to appeal to the clients who want to rip my head off for not returning their calls. She's there to soothe their ruffled feathers (and mine) when I'm late getting back to the office from another appointment with an equally-important client. She is also there to gently distract a client when I'm about to have another meltdown, because calling a valuable client a "pig-headed, pathetically moronic, illigitimate son of a female canine" (or some such epithet) generally causes said client to depart the premises in such haste that he forgets to pay me for my services. Vicki is there to make sure that my business has a friendly face ... and to keep the books ... and to maintain supply levels ... and to remind me to smile and make nice ... and to tell me the name of the person I'm currently talking to ... and to distract me when I get fixated on one particular topic ... and ... and ... You know, people choose the career path that grants them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort, and some don't. That's why I hired Vicki. She could have married some wealthy celebrity, could have been a fashion model or a weather girl on the six o'clock news, or she could just appear in public and let people give her stuff. But she didn't; she hired on with me and has stayed with me all these years, and I appreciate that. And I show that appreciation by not just paying her more than the prevailing wage, but by not imposing my will upon hers. To gain respect, one must be respectful. To gain trust, one must be trustworthy. To gain a person like Vicki, one must be incredibly lucky or incredibly blessed. Maybe both.
(Comments)
Engineering Ain't Easy. posted at 03:02 pm on 09-12-2008
Serving the Public is not why I became an engineer. My love for designing and building things is why I became an engineer. Public relations makes me miserable, and that's why I have a secretary. She shows up for work in outfits that show off her feminine attributes and smiles at my clients. This puts them in a good mood. Then I talk to them. And most of the time they just want me to re-affirm their importance to my balance sheet. What, a firm handshake and a 'Thank You' when they pay me isn't affirmation enough? A check that doesn't bounce is affirmation enough for me, so why do other people need to interrupt my day just to shake my hand and hear me say, 'It's gonna be alright'? Pathetic, that's what they are; just pathetic. But hey, it's a living, and you gotta take the bad with the good. And money is good.
(Comments)
Everybody Lies. posted at 01:50 pm on 09-12-2008
To find the Truth, you have to begin with with lies. I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask, because Everybody Lies. I don't why everybody lies, I just know they all do. It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. So if you want to find out if a person is lying, don't ask. Just put the person into a stressful situation where he must rely on his own abilities and see how he reacts. If his actions match his words, then his word is good. If he panics, blames others, and begs for help, then his word is worthless and he should be left at the curb with the rest of the garbage. It's just that simple, so deal with it.
(Comments)
The Wise Man and the Fool posted at 11:14 am on 09-12-2008
A wise man gets more use from his enemies,
Than a fool does from his friends;
For the wise man perceives more from the valley floor,
Than the fool perceives from the mountain top.
So it is better to be scolded by the wise man,
Than it is to be praised by the fool...
... better for the wise man, that is!
- Tao Te Fnord
(Comments)
|
|
| |
| | |
|
|