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posted at 05:22 pm on 09-15-2008
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ASD vs. NT
posted at 05:22 pm on 09-15-2008
I know I am going to prolly get lots of "flamage" for this, but, my quest for understanding will not allow me to not ask the questions.
I have noticed, not just here, but in other ASD communities as well, that there is a very definite ASD vs. NT mentality.
If your not quite sure what I am referring to, an example would be comments like, "Curing ASD", or "Curing NT's".
I confess that I do realize that, in many cases, it is sarcasm, sometimes, it is to make a point, but have also seen some cases where definite anger issues seem to be at the root.
So the question I have is, how does this help us, or even them, regardless of the position, "sarcasm, genuine concern, or malice"?
Would it not be better to adopt a more "neutral" position, quit trying to "cure" each other, so that both sides can actually do something beneficial, like, oh, I dont know, maybe learn from each other.
Maybe its just me, but I know that, while I have symptoms I would like treated, I do not wish to be "cured", as that would be totally eliminating all of the things that make me, well.............me.
Personally, I would like to understand NT's better, without changing them. I would also like them to understand me better, without them trying to change me.
They have a different way of looking at things, just as I have a different way of looking at things. This does not mean my view is right and theirs is wrong, just as it doesnt mean theirs is right and mine is wrong. Sometimes is only means that, a picture, mostly clear, becomes a little clearer, because it is now seen from different angles, if you will.
Sometimes. ;D
Whats your take on this?
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Misreading social cues.....are you sure?
posted at 05:21 am on 09-15-2008
Well, I suppose it would only be appropriate to start off by saying that, I am not good with the "chitter-chatter" stuff, so I'll just get straight to the point.
I've been reading a lot since I found out about AS, and have noted that, it is the general consensus that, Aspies have problems understanding social cues.
Personally, I think this is erroneous, at least, for me it seems to be.
Not because I don't have issues with social cues, I do, but its not that I am missing them, but rather I am not receiving enough of them.
This "theory" came to be, when celebrating my wife 32nd birthday, we went out to a local restaurant with some friends. My wife's girlfriend brought a date with her. He was not aware of the fact that I have AS, or what it means to have AS.
As the course of the evening went on, during our various discourses, our friend's date, would, in my opinion, seem to mock me regarding things I said, and/or did. He was not cruel, nor do I believe his intentions were to be cruel, but rather, (and I think this might be an NT thing), an attempt on his part to feel less awkward, by using sarcasm, and "teasing humor" to set the tone of the evening.
After the evening was over I questioned my wife about this, and she confirmed he was indeed teasing me over the social cues that I "missed", but that his intentions were harmless.
At this point, I realized that, I had not missed the cues at all, as I did believed that he was teasing me. HOWEVER, not having enough evidence to prove this, I IGNORED the cues, (for the time being), and continued my conversations as if they had not been given, watching for further cues, hoping I would eventually get enough of them to make a "correct and informed decision".
Are you like me, in the fact that, rather than "guess" at a social cue, even though you are most likely correct, you choose instead to try to find more "proof" that the cue is indeed what you thought it was?
Or is this just a "me" thing?
On a footnote, I am doing something I rarely do, by "guessing" that this is NOT just a "me" thing, because, from what I have read, Aspies tend to, as my wife puts it, "Have to be right".
What do you guys think?
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