|
Peko's Blog
Back to Blog Directory
Any Locals/Semi-Locals?
posted at 07:57 am on 06-16-2009
Just wondering if any WP members are in or around PA, US? Going to college in a few months & wondering if their is a slight chance (if it just so happens more than one WPer going to same college) I may run into anyone I know/have or may meet here & do not know it? For safety reasons, I do not want personal info (addresses, phone #'s etc.) on top of it is none of my business. Curiosity is getting the better of me when it comes to determining if their is anyone outside my household I would willingly consider speaking to in person.
(Comments)
Not Being Rude/How?
posted at 11:52 pm on 06-15-2009
This is one major area I supposedly have a major problem with. Whenever I speak at home, or have to be around other relatives I come off as rude. (Sigh) Usually I have issues because I interpret compliments as rude (I hate being told I look nice/pretty or receiving gifts, acknowledgment or praise) and actually enjoy being insulted (though I will admit comments to do with seizures, etc. are crossing the line) (I have very weird limits). So I have to know two or three sets of rules; one automatically for myself & convey that to others (in hopes one day they will get it), one for other Aspies/Auties, & another for NT's (exhausting and illogical to me).
I think I am ok w/ other Autistic people b/c we tend to be blunt & my autistic friends & others w/ problems I have had just talk things though & learn not to push each other's buttons. But with NT's, now that I am out of HS (Yeah, finally!), NT's who are relatives are my biggest hurdle to deal with at the moment.
I'm going to give two main examples; my relationship w/ my stepmom (my mother's life partner) and my grandmother (though my whole extended & immediate family has issues w/ her). I would like to say first that I respect my elders (but sometimes their behaviors, beliefs & reactions do not make sense to me b/c even to my NT/"quasi Autistic" mother & NT siblings do not get some of this stuff). Also, I do love and respect my stepmom & their are cultural barriers to deal with as well. Warning this is all going to be quite confusing & may take a while to explain. My simple explanation is "I do not understand any of the following stuff"! I am going to summarize this as much as possible.
1. My stepmom lived her first twenty-some years in Romania (been in US almost as long/longer now) & I was born and raised in the US. She is very big on respect and always obeying your elders etc. The problem is that she is very easily offended. Every time I say something like, "I don't get that, no offense" as a response to a comment she made that does not compute in my head, etc. she gets really upset & thinks I/everyone thinks she is a stupid foreigner & stuff like that. I/nor anyone else thinks she is stupid & her comments about her accent make no sense (most people I've met like it & have no issues understanding her at all in general). She also gets upset if I ask her to repeat something (I go so far in my head that I do not take in what she said.) My mom told me I should not just stop talking...but I'm not sure if I should just go with that.
2. My grandmother, simply put is the most negative & nosy person I have ever met (no other way to describe her). She has never been happy that I am aware or & only "enjoys" spending money frivolously (not an issue for her) & gossip (she has even gone so far as to tell me medical things about other people/kids she knows & asks me personal/medical questions about my friends & acquaintances) (she also made rude comments when I had friends who were not white/especially my friends w/ mental illnesses & a gay guy I knew). I have NO issues w/ race, family situation, being poor, medical problems, etc. (I only have an issue w/ being near smokers/drugs...do it all you want away from me/not a fan of coughing fits). So her comments really bug me (I ignore her as much as possible. She also is rude to my stepsister (& any other person for that matter, even her own kids & grandkids). My grandfather says she has two personalities (she works in my ex-HS/ so I know she has 2 personalities!) Recently she showed up at our house & said to me "I am not leaving w/o you" in reference to going shopping. She also wanted to drag my brother along & never asked about our stepsister (who was in the next room & heard everything). I had to shower & go shopping for unneeded clothes until lunch (she showed up at about 9:47 am/not even showered yet b/c lazy during summer). I had to buy stuff she thinks is ok (stuff "popular" hi school girls/the type which are nasty to oddballs & make out w/ guys in the halls (EWWWW! ICKY GROSS!) I got through it, just to get her out of the house. I got a million questions about the college I am going to (she thinks my mother & I are clueless/ my mom just got a Master's degree, I just got my HS diploma & she still thinks we are both stupid). I CANNOT stand her! I am supposed to treat her like a human being (I don't think she treats anyone else as one/you interpret). I have to use a fake personality I created when I'm around her. Should I chuck it, be myself & get pissed at her, speak my mind & risk making her have a stroke? What is being polite in these types of instances with my grandmother? Should I even bother (their is no way to please her, so I've given up). My mom told her to take me shopping other places (where I can actually get clothes & so she's entertained) she hates the styles I like (hippy mostly & some gothic/emo clothes/I hate preppy or gangster clothes/too tight) I actually am not to picky about clothes (so long as they fit properly, but I have to much clothing for my own tastes as is, I really do not like having all this stuff I do not need/I try not to be materialistic just practical). What should I do with the unwanted clothes (I decided to keep some of the stuff that fits, but the pants need to go/ wrong cut for me b/c I don't like being half naked & squeezed like a piece of fruit or something ). Should I call the cops (even though my moms said not to) if she shows up again?
Simply asked, is their a proper way to react to any of this? Also, how can you know how to react if you cannot read NT body language (know one I know gets this point)! Any other general "etiquette points" when it comes to NT's?
p.s. Sorry if their are typos/grammatical errors, ranting & that it is so long!
(Comments)
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
