Raylynn's Blog
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Entry 7
posted at 07:18 pm on 08-09-2007
I haven't been able to be around WP much recently, and this makes me sad. I thought that once class was out for the summer I would finally have some time to relax. Instead my office is taking full advantage of my free time and I feel like I have less time now than I did before.
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Entry 6
posted at 02:13 pm on 05-16-2007
Well I went to my doctor again for a follow up. She didn't change my perscriptions but did add a cream to try to help my skin. When I started telling her more how I've been feeling she told me to stop eating wheat for a week to see if I feel better by doing that. Since my roommate is a nutrition major I told her that and now she is making a meal plan for me for next week while she is out of town. When I was looking up the stuff about gluten intolerance I have all of the symptoms...but I would prefer to not have a gluten intolerance because that would be a hard lifestyle. But these stomach issues are a hard lifestyle too. So if not eating gluten means my stomach will feel better and my skin will clear up, then I would be all for it. It is still too early for a diagnosis so i don't have to completely avoid gluten yet. Any way, I rather hope it is something else.
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Entry 5
posted at 12:35 pm on 05-14-2007
Well I've made a lot of plans now to go to my friend's funeral. I was going to leave early in the morning with my roommate so that we wouldn't have to worry about a hotel, but another person was really worried about us leaving so early and offerend to pay for our share the the hotel room. This is such a releif as I would prefer to go tonight and not have to drive nine hours in one day, but split it up over two days. So we are leaving tonight and will get back tomorrow afternoon after the funeral.
My phone has pretty much been ringing non-stop with people calling to check on me and figure out plans...if it doesn't stop ringing my roommate offered to start answering it for me. We'll see.
Any way...I'm still doing ok. I keep my mind busy in one way or another. The only hard time is trying to go to sleep at night. Then I start to cry some.
Thanks for everyones support. It's been hard on me, but everyones willingness to talk and help has been very helpful in this hard time for me.
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Entry 4 (Not for the light hearted)
posted at 11:27 pm on 05-11-2007
So five years ago when I first started college I started attending a small student organization. Most of the people never took the time to get to know me, except one, we'll call her P. She was such a brilliant person and over the time through college we became close friends. She was always someone I could rely on, and I enjoyed being with her because she was always so happy. Then she started dating another guy in the group and I always loved seeing them together. They were so happy and became engaged. Because I was a close friend they asked me to be a bridesmaid. Their wedding was scheduled for June 23 and all the preparations are well under way.
Today I got a phone call. One of the leaders from the student organization insisted on coming over. When she got there she told me P was in a car accident today and had died. For ten minutes I just sat on the couch. Then I just started crying. I'm still at that bottom point right now. I know it is something I will get through, it was just such a shock. At first I just wanted to be alone...but now I just want to be with my mom. When I called her she became so worried and now she is on her way to come get me. I'm glad I am done with classes for the semester...
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Entry 3
posted at 12:41 am on 05-07-2007
Well nothing special has happened recently. On Saturday morning I met some people at a kolache place. Each semester the Saturday of finals we get together and have kolaches early in the morning. Kolaches taste so good fresh in the morning. Then later a friend made enchiladas and invited my roommate and me. They were really good. The rest of Saturday I spent at home either studying, catching up on sleep, or talking on WP.
Then this morning I went to church. I haven't been going to church as often this year because I have been visiting my parents a fair amount. The church I go to is protestant evangelical, small congregation, everyone know everyone, etc. The normal pastor was out of town, so we had another guy preach, who I know pretty well. It was fine until he started yelling with the microphone. (Not an uncommon occurrance in most evangelical churches). But today it just resonated so much and it was hard to handle. I made it through that part fine, but then some of the people from the congregation started yelling too. (Still not an uncommon thing). Some people were already leaving, so I decided to leave also. Usually the college students will go somewhere for lunch, but I was just too stressed from all the yelling.
So I came home and destressed. I think right now my AS is pretty bad. I am stressed about my finals and it tends to make me more anxious. After Wednesday though I will have a 20 day break. Then summer school starts.
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Entry 2
posted at 03:23 pm on 05-04-2007
Thanks CatFreak for your advice, going to the doctor can be very scary for anyone, even more so for the anxiety ridden ones.
My sleeping has gotten better, maybe it was an initial shock side effect of going to that high of a dose so quickly.
Tonight I promised I would go with my roommate to a study/party night. I'm nervous about it, I don't know who will be there. At least I will probably know everyone there though. This makes it easier. After that we are going to watch Spider Man 3. She really likes Spider Man, the only reason she didn't want to go last night is because she had 2 finals today.
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Entry 1
posted at 11:32 pm on 05-02-2007
So for my first entry I could reflect on my past, or just jump to the present. Maybe I will do both?
So my doctor recently started me on zoloft. She started me on 50 mg and a week later upped it to 100 mg. For the most part, I feel the same. I am more alert and awake though, but probably too alert and awake. Last night I only slept 45 minutes, and tonight is starting to get late and I am as awake as ever. I still can't concentrate on anything for too long. I find myself doing one thing, then doing another, then going back to the first thing I left mid-way done. It's not that I get discouraged from finishing something I start, I just get distracted. But whatever it is that I get focused on, I am intently focused on. I don't know maybe it sounds weird. The road noise is actually soothing to me, as is the quite hum of my fan. But I am still very awake. I'll have to try to mention this next time I go to the doctor. Luckily she always asks me about my sleeping, so I won't have to worry about bringing the topic up. Any way, this is it for my first post!
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