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Soma's Blog
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Oh fantastic!
posted at 12:43 am on 03-19-2006
BBQ. Church BBQ! Wonderful sensory bombardment. *fixed smile* Put christmas minus the happiness and more shudderyness. I'm wiped out.
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Gimme the love, life and happiness.
posted at 01:55 am on 01-23-2006
I'm living the good life, shamelessly. Insomnia on loop, blasted by the speakers, I haven't got a care in the world. I'm in a permanant state of denial about a certain location in which I will be back there in 9 days, not going to even say the word. My hair is coming out nicely, but it'll still be reddish back at- not gonna say it.
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Argh! Everyone's away!
posted at 12:59 am on 01-14-2006
Everyone's away! I can't contact anyone! My emails are all deciding to either bounce (joy!) or be forgotten by the recieviee. (is that a word?) I'm about to upload a few piccies onto Bebo, but they'll be forgotten. Hello? Do I exist? I'm BORED!
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My Christmas Rant.
posted at 01:44 am on 12-24-2005
They say it's the silly season. Damn fucking right. December should be re-named Sensory-Overload month. Thank goodness I've now got my Creative Neeon, which is currently charging through the USB port, (2.0 for all you techno whizzes out there) which I use when it all gets way too much. Creed is FANTASTIC when played during the over 30's teas, mince-pies, coffee and chrissy cake. Paticulary My Sacrifice and Weathered. But Christmas, lovely sensory bombardment. Blinking lights everywhere, people everywhere, present politics, etc, etc, etc. Because I'm Aspie, not as serious as Jessie, (I see so much of myself in that girl it hurts.) but because of The Mother, everyone knows. And the whole Tap drama has been passed around, (I'm such a demon child, there, sitting in my blue batik-y skirt, with my hair pinned back on one side, big hazel eyes blinking there, quiet (because I'm so golly damn exhausted!) sitting there eating liberal amounts of smoked salmon.) so tomorrow, i'll have Aunty Briony checking up on that, and the scar's still pink, so that won't be missed-she's a teacher, she won't be blind. Oh joy, time to drag up the Tap drama, bloody again. Yeah, tonight I'll be putting out the pillow-case for the fat man in the red suit (What the fuck? Santa likes Pepsi (Dad!) and is female with short brown hair. (Mum)Santa has two identities!!) to come down our blocked chimney. The magic of Christmas went last year. I love spendint time with the family, but it just gets way, way to much.
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Love
posted at 02:19 am on 12-05-2005
Love comes in many forms, and they are all so different. God loves me, a peaceful, all-surrounding love, my parents love me, a resiliant, caring love, my friends love me, as friends, but there's this new kind of love in my life. This love, this love is different, this love is strong. All the loves that I've been given have been strong, but this is, this is, different. This is, like, how to describe it, like I'm special, really really really special to someone. Like I'm prized by him. Like I'm like no-one else, and no-one else is above me. When we kiss, everything just melts away. Everything, just disappears, and I know that the feeling is mutual. When he held me, when I was holding him, everything seemed right. Everything seemed, special, rosy. I still feel his arms around me. I feel, I feel him. I really feel strange, really, cannot stop seeing his eyes, cannot, cannot stop this feeling. But I'm 14, he's 15. I really don't know where this is going to go! But this feeling, this feeling that I want, I want to give him the world, and I want to make him feel so special, and he's doing the same for me. His eyes...
(edit: We've broken up. :-( )
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Been a while...
posted at 03:43 am on 11-05-2005
As I write, Tatu's playing- All the Things she said, if you're interested. At times during my life, songs have seemed to sum up my feelings. I've been on LiveJournal, but at the moment, things got desperate. After the Autobiography Disaster, I just was so sore, just so sore. I'll refer to the person here as MT. Everytime I spoke with her, she'd cut me down with her words and 'conversation techniques.' Our relationship is there, yes, we care so much for each other- I do think she does love me a little, but we just grate against each other, just, I don't know! I'm crying, god, I'm crying! 2 wednesdays ago, after we'd spoken at lunch, that night, I cut myself. I wanted to die. I wanted to blend in, become part of the floor, to disappear. I was just so hurt by the way she'd acted, how she accused me, how my words just bounced off this lady in pink. I wanted to die. The next day, I had my yearly music exam. She supervised. The school Councellor, MD, has spoken to her, to tell her just how distressed I was that night, and how she is to have no contact with me until the end of the year. She broke that yesterday. "S*r*h, don't run off-oh S*r*h..." I emailed her today. I just know the news that I, I cut, will hit her so hard, so hard. She's a mother herself, she cares so much for all her girls, the news that her little S*r*h has hurt herself, I just know the news has hit her so hard. I wish she could see this entry, but I know that's impossible. I just never wanted it to get to this point!
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Oh great, I've dropped about 3 years in maturity.
posted at 03:09 am on 09-13-2005
Within the past few days, I've gone from being a mature, severe, likeable, slightly intense 14year old, to a girl who my sane self finds daydreaming in class, giggling, going all shy and cute and embarrassed whenever the subject of Black and Blue comes up, humming Strawberry Kisses, woah woah woah. Wake up Sarah! I'm not concentrating in classes! Snap out of it!
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Spring Cleaning
posted at 10:25 pm on 09-09-2005
I've deleted all my blog entries, I wanted to start fresh. I'm listening to Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, and I'm trying to get rid of this bug I've caught. Great. I catch a dry chesty cough the night before the social event of the school year. Yes, don't I sound shallow and superficial there. Don't I sound all 14year old-y, "Oh my gawd, I don't have a date for the formal! I've chipped a nail! The world's gonna crumble!" I'm deep and philosophical most of the time, and this just happens to be one of the times when I'm not. Ha!
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