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Aspie_chav's Blog
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CerebralDreamer's Message
posted at 12:12 pm on 04-03-2009
CerebralDreamer Wrote this.
quote "
I think it's time we all admit we think differently, act differently, speak differently, even walk different from the rest of the world. It's undeniable. It's a major part of AS, which can be both a gift and a curse.
Personality, how someone acts, speaks, and walks is a major part of attraction. We are far out in left-field there. Unless we find something to fill the gaps, the only way we're going to get a date is to drop our standards to intolerable levels.
What we need to do is find the points of success with Asperger's Syndrome. Hyperfocusing, a completely different way of thinking, this can be used to your advantage. Find something that interests you, hone your talents. Develop independence, and improve your life. If you don't push for something to benefit you, and you alone, you're never going to get a date. As long as you depend on others, and let your talents waste, women will only see a needy kid that they have to take care of, rather than the raw potential behind your personality.
The best thing we can do is bring this raw potential out in the open. Find a passion, and drive it home. Develop a skill, or talent, and make use of it. Become a musician, a mathematician, a doctor, writer, something that people can look to with awe and see how well you perform, how well you stand above the rest. Asperger's Syndrome provides a gift of passion that can allow us to develop talents of a degree so rare, so remarkable it gets a lot of notice.
The point is, you have to start living for you, and not other people. You need to let go of this world and what it thinks, instead finding and catering a passion that will lead somewhere. If you do this, and do it well, you'll find after a certain point women begin expressing interest as they see the success, the capabilities, and the independence. We are all biological organisms looking to pass on the best genes to our kids. It's time you took advantage of yours, and showed the world just how remarkable you are. Once you do that, you'll find plenty of wonderful women are already doting on you.
Just don't forget the mechanics behind our world, and why they're there. They've served humanity this long, so there is no reason to bash them now. More or less, they provide direction on how we should lead our lives."
(Comments)
A Cat In A Dogs' world.
posted at 11:25 am on 03-20-2009
This is an ongoing project. Any suggestion welcome.
A Cat In A Dogs' world.
1)A Dog sees a Cats sick or invalid version of a Dog. A Cat sees a Dog as a Dog and a Cat as a cat.
2)A Cat in a dogs world cannot true to itself. By dogs' rules, it would be considered amoral, wrong or insane because it simply doesn't comply to the never ending rules of how a dog is suppose act.
3)A Cat in a dogs world, has to be more like a dog. A dog on the other hand, dogs doesn't have to acknowledge the existence of a cat.
3)A Dog acknowledges divercity, small dogs, big dogs, heary dogs, fast dogs, slow dogs. A cat in a dogs world acknowledges that a dog is not a cat.
4)Dogs and cats acknowledge survival on a need to know basis. Most of which is instinctual for a dog. A cat has to learn this intellectually to achieve the same aim.
(Comments)
Body Language
posted at 01:06 pm on 12-21-2008
TEN TIMES better at reading body
language than men. Your body language says
everything about you to a woman... so, if you want
to get better at attracting women, you'd better
start paying attention to and taking control of
it.
Start with your posture. Lift your chest.
Lean back, not forward.
Leaning forward is usually a "needy" signal.
Leaning back is usually a signal of strength.
Slow down your movements.
Fast movements convey nervousness and
skittishness.
Slow movements convey self control and
strength.
It's a good idea to take some time and study
the body language of guys who are successful with
women. Watch closely, and pay attention to
EVERYTHING.
(Comments)
I have aspergers. The proof
posted at 05:46 pm on 11-29-2008
My Memory
My theory is that having bad far memorising unrelated encourages the mind to put things into context and acquire better understanding. No surprise that I, being very bad at remembering numbers and names of people, but have a passion for learning in general, especially scientific subjects. As a result, those interests support my ability to remember and vice versa.
Catana quotes “What is a poor memory? Charles Darwin said of himself that his memory was very poor. He generally had to reread something and then give himself time to mull it over before he grasped it well enough to form a judgement. His memory was slow, and knowing that has always given me comfort because I have the same kind of memory.
There are also types of information that I have trouble memorizing: numbers, codes, and random bits and pieces that can’t be fitted into a context. My problem with numbers is a real learning disability, but my inability to memorize random, disconnected facts is part of my cognitive bias toward contextual processing. Darwin had similar problems with certain kinds of memorization and his notebooks reveal a contextual thinker at work.
The popular belief that quick memorizers are particularly smart is one of the many myths about giftedness. Someone who’s a quick study may be... a quick study and nothing more. An excellent memory gives you an advantage in school and in adult life, but it doesn’t guarantee curiosity, a real interest in learning, or intellectual creativity.”
Conversation
I generally smalltalk does not come to me naturally. People who like smalltalk often talk about non important subjects such as what they did yesterday, about people, sometimes even about sports such as football. From my point of view and without further analysis, smalltalk appears to be non-productive. People can spend hours talking in pubs and bars without coming actually becoming wiser for the experience, often becoming much poorer for the experience with the amount of beer.
I am different I like to talk about scientific subjects. I like these subjects because they require analysis. I am exceptional at programming. It require a high degree of analysis. It is natural for me to have conversation that is heavily based on discovering and learning, I probably thought one time that everyone must also be very similar to me.
One thing that I have leant is that most people do not get what analysis is, many confuse it with faith, which is more to do with believing in something roughly plausible to an X degree and sticking to it without any intention of falsifying it. This is the behaviour that really is annoying to me. Analysis isn’t reading a book just agreeing with the content because it was written by a person of high status.
Interesting enough, I did read a article about why people converse in Smalltalk. It has less to do with communicating anything with any informational value but more to doe with creating bonds, friendships, and allies. Thos the quite literally the informational value of the conversation is I am you friend, I will not heart you, you are my friend.
Sensitive to various things
“Many people with Asperger's syndrome are very sensitive to various experiences. The most common sensitivity is to sound and this affects over 70% of people. They can be extremely sensitive to sudden noises, like someone coughing, high pitched noises such as vacuum cleaners or multiple sounds such as noisy social gatherings. About 50% of people with Asperger's syndrome are sensitive to touch.”
No surprise, that’s me too. My theory is that most people, neurotypicals, have kind of hearing filter that is oriented towards socialising. Many people have hearing oriented towards music even. Aspies have hearing must have hearing towards engineering, which most definitely mean no filters at all; just the ability to hear thing as they really are.
High Integrity
“Aspies will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong. Most stick to their positions, even in the face of intense social pressure, and their values aren't shaped by financial, social, or political influences.
No surprise that most people bias nature really annoys me. It is often financial, social or political influence most people. They believe in whatever influences they are exposed to, like a virus that infects the mind. I respect that bias nature is a kind of evolutionary survival trait; however, it can never be scientific. I guess that is why most people find science boring, in the presence of science and truth it is hard to be bias.
“Most Aspies have a good work ethic and pay attention to detail. Conscientious, reliable, and honest, many Aspies make very good employees if able to control their pace and work within either a solitary or socially supportive environment. Aspies are persistent, and when they set their minds to something or make a promise, they can usually be trusted to follow through.”
Trustworthy and Reliable
Most people with Asperger’s are dependable and loyal. They don’t play games or force others to live up to demanding social expectations. Aspies have no hidden agendas and no interest in harming others or taking advantage of their weaknesses. They are not inclined to lie to, steal from, or attack the reputations of those around them. Aspies are not likely to be bullies, con artists, or social manipulators, and girls with Asperger’s syndrome are less inclined to be fickle or bitchy than their neurotypical counterparts. While some people with Asperger's may lash out when provoked, they are unlikely to launch unprovoked attacks, verbal or otherwise.No difference here, I don’t really have any of the negative qualities mentioned above. Some may say that I lie a bit; however, the others are so unlike me, though I do wonder much of the time should ‘I do in Rome what the Romans do’.
Putting people down seem to be another activity that is common. I am amazed sometimes it is acceptable to put people down though mockery, and direct putdown however any sign of immodesty is often responded to much more negative way. I suspect that when one puts down others that person is an attempt to makes himself and his friend look good in comparison. However being bigheaded an attempt to make oneself look good alone. The thing is putting someone down in the ways that I have seen is always an attempt for one to look better in comparison, however being bigheaded cannot be proven to be intentional at all or a disrespect to other people.
Humour
“ A non-autistic person's sense of humour is often to do with finding clever ways of pointing out faults in other people and causing them embarrassment. Everyone is a victim of someone else's humour at some time or another but some people are made to suffer more than others. Sometimes, non-autistic people can get quite ruthless with their humour. This is especially true amongst teenagers and younger adults who are perhaps less likely to care than older people. In the eyes of many zoologists, humour is a human replacement for the violence which animals use on each other to establish an order of dominance (the pecking order).”
People with Asperger do not need generally play these games and as a result have an under developed sense of humour.
(Comments)
Mirroring Eye Contact
posted at 02:17 am on 11-22-2008
http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_eyecontact.htm
(Comments)
Aspie Memory
posted at 05:53 pm on 11-19-2008
Catana quotes “What is a poor memory? Charles Darwin said of himself that his memory was very poor. He generally had to reread something and then give himself time to mull it over before he grasped it well enough to form a judgement. His memory was slow, and knowing that has always given me comfort because I have the same kind of memory.
There are also types of information that I have trouble memorizing: numbers, codes, and random bits and pieces that can’t be fitted into a context. My problem with numbers is a real learning disability, but my inability to memorize random, disconnected facts is part of my cognitive bias toward contextual processing. Darwin had similar problems with certain kinds of memorization and his notebooks reveal a contextual thinker at work.
The popular belief that quick memorizers are particularly smart is one of the many myths about giftedness. Someone who’s a quick study may be... a quick study and nothing more. An excellent memory gives you an advantage in school and in adult life, but it doesn’t guarantee curiosity, a real interest in learning, or intellectual creativity.”
I can add to this. My theory is that having bad far memorising unrelated encourages the mind to put things into context and acquire better understanding. No surprise that I, being very bad at remembering numbers and names of people, but have a passion for learning in general, especially scientific subjects. As a result, those interests support my ability to remember and vice versa.
(Comments)
To impress a woman....
posted at 08:04 am on 11-09-2008
In other words, to impress, men need to be hugely successful, but pretend that they are not. And this is only one aspect of the almost impossible balance that needs to be struck. Men need to convey sexual desire without sexualising the person in front of them, need to be authoritative, opening doors, paying bills, deciding where to go and so on (recent research found that 60 per cent of women would consider it a bad first date if they paid), yet treat women as absolute equals.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/article4846940.ece
(Comments)
Why men should listen - not talk -
posted at 02:36 pm on 07-20-2008
Why men should listen - not talk - when they're on a date, by Robin Yapp, Science Reporter
It is the news that all those men who become tongue tied on a date have been waiting to hear. The best way to win a woman's heart is simply to keep quiet and let her do most of the talking making appreciative noises that show our date you are listening and interest in what she is saying means she will find you attractive researchers found.
But motor mouths who think they have the gift of the gab and try to impress a woman by talking endlessly do themselves out of no favours.
The findings suggest that a strong silent type - such as Mark Darcy, played by Colin Firth in the Bridget Jones films - is likely to win out over loudmouths such as his rival Daniel Cleaver, played by Hugh Grant.
Phillip Hodson, a fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy said: 'Men are very concerned with the performance but are not actually paying attention to the end result.
'A good salesman does not just memorise huge amounts of information and waffle away because people will nod away but not actually take it in.
'A real salesman says, "What do you want?" and listens and these are the subtle skills of emotional literacy that many men who try to impress women by talking lack.'
The findings come from a study conducted by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the U.S.
Lead researcher Professor Sandy Pentland said the key for a man to impress a woman lay not in the content of a conversation but in 'verbal body language.'
This refers to a number of factors such as how long each person spends talking, how the pitch and volume of their voices varies, how often they interrupt each other, and their use of words to encourage the other person to continue speaking.
Talking in a monotone might be the vocal equivalent of crossing your arms, which indicates a defensive attitude, but letting the other person speak is more akin to fiddling with your hair, which is said to be a positive sign of attraction.
Were largely unconscious of it but it matters hugely,' said Professor Pentland.
The researchers analysed nearly 60 conversations during speed dates, in which potential couples are given only a few minutes to get to know each other and decide whether to meet again. The team were able to make predictions about 80 per cent of potential couples, getting the verdict right three-quarters of the time, New Scientist magazine reports today.
One important factor was the number of times a man made an interjection lasting less than a second - such as 'OK' and 'I see'.
Some men used such words only five times in five minutes, while others used them 30 times - and women were far more likely to feel attracted to those who used them most frequently.
(Comments)
Asperger Dignosis
posted at 10:49 am on 07-10-2008
http://www.nathanclaunch.com/lauriekrauth/article3.html
(Comments)
Dating related information
posted at 01:20 pm on 06-20-2008
Dating related information
slowdating.co.uk
speeddater.co.uk
http://www.clicksingles.co.uk/ Kent
(Comments)
Net links
posted at 02:50 pm on 06-10-2008
http://tinyshell.be/aircrackng/forum/index.php?topic=1819.0; http://wirelessdefence.org/Contents/Aircrack_aircrack.htm; http://www.leetupload.com/tutorials/hackingspoonfed/part1/; http://securitytube.net/AireplayNG-(Part-1)-video.aspx;
http://www.pettingers.org/code/backtrack-notes.html
(Comments)
Cheesy song Collection
posted at 04:23 pm on 06-08-2008
These songs that I add to the collection will stink bad. I will try to include forgotten songs.
Turtle Power TMNT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zTJnjc-Xhg
The Reynold Girls - I'd Rather Jack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hg7M8qI5m8
Cheeky Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX3S1f_7dI4
Scooter The Logical Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmEBCTDt2IA
Rock Steady Crew
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4J-EVxMcd0&feature=related
Daphne & Celeste - Ooh Stick You!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgGLSJrj7AM
Scat Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpHLEm9-0bg
Culture beat - Mr. Vain Recall video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX-de_SH3KQ
(Comments)
Cognative
posted at 11:28 am on 06-06-2008
Meditation
I do try meditation, mindful meditation to help me to concentrate on the here and now. I even bought a bio feedback machine called the wild-divine, where you can monitor your relaxed state by monitoring sweat glands in fingers and heart rate but I don’t usually sweet so it is not that effective. I have been to the Buddhist centre in croydon every other week.
You quoted “The book is The New Mood Therapy by, I think a Dr. Burns. Especially important in the book is the list of the 10 dysfuncitonal thinking habits of depressed people. The book gives you exercises to recognize these patterns and to begin to rebut them in your own mind and break down the dysfunctional patterns.”
Problem is I have a very healthy attitude to life, cognitive therapy
(Comments)
Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand
posted at 10:53 am on 06-01-2008
A. Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand when faced with impending danger.
Anyone, that is more then 90% of NTs, who don’t have an understanding of the laws of nature, would say ostriches are overcome with fear thus taking the quickest route it conceives as safety the sand. This plus the fact Ostriches are not that intelligent.
That answer does not answer the question why does a high proportion of ostrich develop a believer that does not contribute to its survival. The fact that they are not very intelligent doesn’t mean anything, because all animal inherit behaviour that contribute to its survival.
Ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand, it just appears that way. They are in fact hiding their heads from predators. What we have learned so far is animal do not inherit behaviour that do not contribute to its own survival.
Those rules also apply to humankind. Sometime you might wonder why humankind spend their time committed to various religious acts such as fasting, chanting and meditating when they don’t have any apparent benefit at all. Well just like the preconception that ostriches bury their heads in the sand appear not to be a survival trait, the same that we have a preconception of human behaviour then come to the conclusion it is wring, stupid or time wasting because they are unable to logically analyse the correct answer.
Now answer this; why is it that many people, especially true of aspies who are looking for love, decide that just being themselves is not the best way to find love. Why do so many people inherit behaviour that only when it only serves to work against them.
(Comments)
Database
posted at 02:26 am on 05-19-2008
http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/aa188216(office.10).aspx
http://www.utexas.edu/its/archive/windows/database/datamodeling/dm/erintro.html
(Comments)
Mixed relationship national statitics
posted at 05:36 pm on 05-05-2008
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=1090
(Comments)
Black Woman dating White Men
posted at 12:40 pm on 05-05-2008
http://www.intermix.org.uk/relationships/rel_bf_wm_relationships.asp
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200704/20070406/slide_20070406_284_106.jhtml
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/07/AR2006100701070.html
(Comments)
So you don’t think I have asperger
posted at 02:22 am on 04-18-2008
So you don’t think I have aspergers. I will try to prove you otherwise with the evidence I already have and the things you already know about me. For example there is no point in saying I could not spell at the age of 8 because I cannot prove that.
Bad eye contact
My eye don’t focus will. I probably don’t give people much eye contact. Since I make a conscious effort eye contact this might be hard to prove. I suspect aspie use their eyes for analysing while NTs use theirs for more social activities.
Sensitive to sudden loud noises. Much more then most people. Firework night has me jumping every so often. It does not reflect fear in anyway. I suspect our hearing system is different more oriented to hearing thing as they are and less filtering that one may use to isolate one persons voice in a load place like a night club. I don’t lag much behind in this department however.
Big headed is another aspie trait. We often come to different conclusion because we use logical reasoning and research to come to conclusions. Whole other use non-scientific political opinion, word of mouth, a interpretation of common sinse( while it is hard to define what common sense really is). In history Aspies scientist came into conflict with superstition and religion being big headed helped. If I was to believe in common truth myths I would have to go to the gym at least 3 days a week to achieve what is possible with once every 5 days. Myths are created by following rule that one is unwilling to understand intellectually.
Personal hygiene. Aspies often have bad personal hygiene. You probably detected a few holes in that department though I am much better then I used to be. I am getting better still with loads of conscious effort but it don’t come natural.
Honesty. A true aspie has a love of science. Science is about truth and honesty are the same sides of the same coin. Truth is without Fear, Hatred, or Greed. The truth doesn’t play on people emotions. The truth isn’t always politically correct.
Untactful. Tack
(Comments)
Mantra
posted at 09:49 am on 04-07-2008
http://www.dharma-haven.org/tibetan/meaning-of-om-mani-padme-hung.htm
(Comments)
mindfulness
posted at 09:42 am on 04-07-2008
http://guidedmindfulmeditation.com/
(Comments)
Painters
posted at 09:33 am on 04-07-2008
http://www.jhu.edu/jhumag/996web/painter.html
(Comments)
Miles Per Gallon
posted at 06:01 am on 04-04-2008
http://www.torquecars.com/tools/uk-mpg-calculator.php
(Comments)
Social Mindfulnesss
posted at 10:00 am on 04-02-2008
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/mindfulness.php
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Social Excersises
posted at 02:45 pm on 04-01-2008
What we need is exercises one can practice every day that will make the task of socialising easier.
If one was to learn to punch brease block. One can simply practice untill it become easier. This is synonimus with practice socialising by just going out there and practicing.
My approach to learning how punching brease blocks is to make sure you are strong enough. This would require doing the correct weight training exercises correct dieting and the monitoring of progresss and requiring enough sleep. And because punching blocks is a mind game, learning tie-chi or meditation would also help.
This approach might be long winded by those who have the capability to break those blocks by practicing for a week or two. But this approach would be the only answer for those who would never have enough strength to be able to break those blocks.
(Comments)
Basic Techniques for Building Rapport
posted at 04:57 am on 03-18-2008
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/Section/Basic-Techniques-for-Building-Rapport.id-280172.html
(Comments)
How to get Rapid Rapport by Jamie Smart
posted at 12:35 pm on 03-17-2008
http://www.attractionacademy.com/article.php?story=20040318200605819&mode=print
(Comments)
Mirroring Links
posted at 12:09 pm on 03-17-2008
http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/practical-rapport-building-for-interviews/
How to get Rapid Rapport by Jamie Smart
http://www.attractionacademy.com/article.php?story=20040318200605819&mode=print
(Comments)
Mirroring Log I
posted at 12:03 pm on 03-17-2008
An interview in which the physician
simply nods his/her head or states
“Okay” may go as follows:
Doctor: Do you have any major
medical problems?
Patient: No, I’m pretty healthy.
Doctor: Okay. (and/or head nod)
Ever have any surgeries?
Patient: Never.
Doctor: Okay. (and/or head nod)
Do you have any allergies to medicine?
Patient: Not that I know of.
Doctor: Okay. (and/or head nod).
Do you smoke any cigarettes?
Patient: Oh, my goodness, no.
Never.
Doctor: Okay. (and/or head nod).
Do you drink any alcohol?
The patient sees the same slight
head nods and hears the same
“Okay” to questions about allergies,
smoking, and alcohol use. Up to this
point, the doctor may appear more
interested in going through a standard
list of questions than in understanding
the patient’s real concern.
Now assume this doctor uses
physical and verbal mirroring with
a questioning inflection of his/her
voice tone. This encounter may go
as follows:
Doctor: Do you have any major
medical problems?
Patient: No, I’m pretty healthy.
Doctor: You’re pretty healthy.
(pause) Ever have any surgeries?
Patient: No . . . never.
Doctor: Never? (pause) Do you
have any allergies to medicine?
Patient: None that I know of.
Doctor: None. (pause) Do you
smoke any cigarettes?
Patient: Oh, my goodness, no.
Never.
Doctor: Never? (pause)
Patient: Never. My father was
just diagnosed with lung cancer, and
he smoked all his life.
This is an example of how mirroring
can lead to better rapport and
more-effective communication
with the patient. When the patient
says, “Oh, my goodness, no.
Never,” the doctor has no idea why
the word “never” was used. By
physically mirroring and then saying
the word “never” and pausing,
it reminds the patient of the emotion
underlying him/her to say
“never.” This creates an opportunity
for the patient to explain if the
“never” was significant. When the
patient elaborates by disclosing his/
her father’s diagnosis of lung cancer,
the interview becomes infinitely
more productive.
(Comments)
Logic and humans
posted at 08:45 am on 02-03-2008
Why do people hold on to stupid ideal
The problem with analysing humankind is that they are subject to so much political/ philosophical ideology it becomes impossible to explain to others. So wish to make comparison between human and primates such as chimps.
Why is it that we can agree that primates follow the natural laws nature, but humans follow other laws that cannot be properly understood?
I want to explain how behaviour can be handed down the generation. And how good behevier is hold onto but bad ones are forgotton about
If you teach a chimp how to use a tool, such as a use a stick to prise termites from a nest, so that it can eat
(Comments)
See my Liz next week.
posted at 05:45 pm on 03-15-2007
I am going to see her next week in Manchester. For an NT she are the dogs.
(Comments)
First blog
posted at 04:17 pm on 01-11-2007
I discovered what blogs really are, which really is surprising considering. I’m probably quite an offline as I am still using dial up network.
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