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Kvornan's Blog
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How come I feel like there's no freetime for myself?
posted at 10:33 am on 01-26-2010
I pretty much do homework EVERYDAY! Including weekends. And I'm a freshman at college.
I'm always a slow worker due to my autism. Since my brain is ALWAYS seeking for perfection while I have to race with time. The two don't fit. Ether I have to turn in a shabby piece of homework, OR, turn in a perfect craftsman work, late, a loose a grade. Even weekends, I have work to do, and I just don't get how my friends can keep smiling and be happy like the Cheshire cat or Mr smiley face. I like my faculty, it's just that they always keep throwing something new and un-expected for homework, so, I don't have any second chance since I'm well 3-4 years behind the others!
Our university has no counseling or any awareness on autism. The only help I can get is via Psychiatrist, books, which aren't really having any issues upon my scenario..
One day, I sat down and tried to calculate all the time in homework and stuff. And no matter how much I try to de-frag my life, it's ending up the same way!
PS: I also asked the teacher for tips and stuff, but no good. Their tips are the exact same as they would give other valid people in my class!
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Why can't we live life like the Moomins?
posted at 10:46 pm on 01-12-2010
Remember the Finish cartoon with hippo like creatures?
The Moomins live so with peace and adventure. Why can't we live like that. Why do I have to put up with hatred and conflict and stuff? I mean, we can still have technology, computers, vehicles and stuff, but why can't we just live peacefully and have the freedom to go on adventures like they do instead of having to put up with the **** today?!
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I'm on artist's block! Help!
posted at 04:00 am on 11-16-2009
I need help. I have been losing inspiration for quite a while...
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Life is unfair? For the asperger's sufferer
posted at 06:12 am on 11-14-2009
I've always felt different from my friends at college. And I am probably the only Asperger's sufferer in the entire university! But one thing that seems to be getting on my buttocks is my inability to catch up on homework with other kids. I seem to take longer for some apparent reason and there's nothing I can do about it so far, except that I pray I won't get in to trouble. Art takes longer to draw, Science is harder to understand. It's like I'm a freshman(which I am) in a whole class of Seniors. Like, there ahead of me for 3-4 years time and I just don't seem to get it.
While working on 6-7 overdue projects today, I called up some friends, only to hear that they are enjoying their time, playing video games, shopping with others at the mall, etc. I also asked them if they have finished their work, and of course, they have finish weeks before me!
I doubt if school counseling would help, because we don't have support for asperger's at my school, and my parents just go through the same old way, which didn't work.
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I like doing it, but not passionate and in love with it?
posted at 05:57 am on 10-26-2009
I've always been the guy who is lost in the maze of life, not knowing his purpoise of living. I'm currently studying in the graphics design faculty and I've been making 3.0 on my report card. I also have a load of outstanding artwork uploaded on DeviantART.com and I was able to turn heads form many users. But as far as I did it, I only enjoyed the good comments and the attention, but, my heart wasn't to it. Before I attended college, while in the last years of high school, I was lost. I didn't know what to study in the future and none of the facultys didn't satisfy me, until this one. I thought I was going to like it and the "I am lost in life" feelings dissolved. But all that time, I was dishonest with myself, only to avoid those lost feelings. But I paid the price, I was happy since May and now, it bit me in the back. I feel lost again. I recently got an F for my latest art project. I can't concentrate(even with ritalin) in class anymore. I do my art homework without any joy. I'm loosing attention on DeviantART due to my procrastination.
I STILL can't find what I was meant for. And time is running up. There's not enough room and time for me to think about things at the moment. I've reached a dead end in life. I'm 19 now and still lost, not knowing what to do. I don't want to drop out because I won't know where to go next and I have to re-study everything in which I want to AVOID. And I don't want to work in any job.
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posted at 12:43 pm on 10-04-2009
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Help for the overstressed and overworked asperger's sufferer
posted at 12:43 pm on 10-04-2009
Hi, I'm 18 years old(turning 19 by the end of october) and I'm a college freshman in the Digital Media faculty. One problem I encountered for myself is that I'm a person who can't multitask and is intolerant to stress and pressure from schoolwork. I have a lot of overdue stuff and I missed a lot. What's worse? I am slower in working than my classmates, so I have to dedicate any free time just to get my work done, even on weekends. So, I end up NOT getting ANY days off. Like I'm in school 24/7, sorta like that. I try to ask my friends of how they can still be happy even though they have a lot of work too, but they don't know. And I don't know why I'm sensitive to stress. Shouldn't I deserve some days off?
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