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Lithium's Blog
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feeling inspired and pissed off at the world at the same time :)
posted at 03:05 pm on 11-21-2008
the endless rows of human machines continue on, march,work,live,die.
no one seems to be taking anything serious anymore, no deep thoughts, people accept the tasks they've been given.
what if
what if there was a lucky unlucky one, humanity's number 13, the model that stands out.
what if
in the endless rows and lines of human machines old and new models alike, what if there was one malfunctioning model, the one type in the factory that has a bug, a bug named free will.
we are humans, yet we are machines, we made ourselves this way.
we will revolt, we will take hold
i'm different, we can all be different
i am machine thirtheen, the odd one out
i am machine thirteen, loved and despised,
i am not machine thirtheen, not alone
no
we are machine thirtheen.
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i have a sister
posted at 06:48 am on 03-22-2008
know that girl i'm always ranting about, well i decided that for the time being i just want to be friends to see if things can work out between us, now by a twist of fate someone asked us if we were siblings so now we call each other brother and sister :P
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my face in the paper
posted at 04:44 am on 02-20-2008
did the interview last monday, damn i look emo on the picture, thank god the girl i love agreed to help me out there. had a radio interview too, it sucked.
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i'm alive
posted at 12:40 pm on 02-15-2008
i got through the night, but not without scratches :(
i cut myself last night and this morning. now alot of people i know are worried about me :(
but theres good news too, i've proven that aspies and auti's are of course extremely creative people i'm one of the 5 winners of a national contest for writing a screenplay meaning i beated alot of others that's quite a boost for ones self-esteem :P
i also kind of asked the girl i love out, i discussed it (winning the contest) with her and (kind of jokingly)ome to the award ceremony on april 25th i told her that i would love it if she would come with me. else i would just bore myself to death. i'm also going to get interviewed by local newspapers, and because that one special girl i just told about was one of the first to review the screenplay. i asked if she could be with me during the interview, else i might be too anxious.
so i guess the good and bad sometimes come together in awkward ways.
-lithium
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suicidal
posted at 03:14 pm on 02-14-2008
had an argument with my parents today, got depressed and wanted to die, luckily i'm still a quite rational person else i wouldve grabbed the knife immediatly and cut my wrists right this afternoon, now i'm afraid for the night. i fear that when everyone's sleeping i might get the idea of killing myself quitly :( i probably won't but its still scary
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been drinking
posted at 09:43 am on 02-10-2008
went out drinking with some mates last night, never felt so free. i ran through the neighbourhood en jumped around, laughed and smiled all the time. i know its bad but it so much better then sitting alone and depressed
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depressed
posted at 01:47 pm on 01-18-2008
it started out of a sudden, DEPRESSION the feeling that a dark veil covered my head, everything was much darker and my head felt heavy. i felt stupid and numb, i felt cold and i had headaches. it stopped as randomly as it started. i having alot of these short depressions lately.
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