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Paolo's Blog
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Journal
posted at 02:53 am on 01-20-2007
I deprecate it but I have lost my ability to use pens. That's not the only ability I have lost. I see things more clearly. My life, nearly at the candle's end. Yes I want to put it down here. This will give me courage, in a way. It's in part this, but it's even more two facts acting in unison. Being free from practical obligations except some errands here and there, buying some food, newspapers and media material, I may look better at the things of my life. But I am helped in this by the new frame I have: no more blaming my parents (life with them was hell, especially with my mother). There has always been something "special" about me. I was led astray by the available cultural instruments (Freud and all what I see now as a reading your life in the leaves of tea , or in the shape of the clouds or in Roschach test or in the intestines of an animal - in dreams edvdn). Now that I have a much better frame. it's like entering in dark cave: in some time you get accustomed to oscurity and start seeing things by their real shape. The more you progress in the dimness the more you see new things and facts in a good light, yes light. Although it's the chamber of Malone.
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