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Sethzack's Blog
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Knew I had it but didn't know about it
posted at 04:53 am on 12-29-2008
This is my first and most likely last blog.
I have always been different and accepted that, I had always been happy and nothing bothered me but I had extreme depression more and more frequently. I decided that it couldn't be ADD or ADHD or split personality disorder because I did not exhibit the exact symptoms. I had been diagnosed with ADHD in the second grade but the diagnosis was wrong, after they took me off medication I was finally diagnosed with asperger's syndrome in the seventh grade. I never thought much about it but it is a high functioning form of autism. After the last depression episode I had (Saturday Dec. 28, 2008) I researched asperger's and found out more about myself in that one day than I could my entire life. It was a relief because now I know why I am different and I'm ok with it. The depression will continue it is a fairly common symptom, it is caused by any change in routine. For example I moved away from my apartment I had lived in for so long and it wasn't instant but I had very sudden and intense depression. It continued everytime I changed the smallest thing in my life but couln't link it with anything until I read about asperger's. I just felt like I had to get this off my chest, I don't expect much attention from posting this but maybe someone else has it and reads this. You can always contact me at my email: sethzack@hotmail.com
P.S. A friend of mine actually has asperger's as well and we have known about each other's disorder for quite some time but like I said before I didn't know what it meant. He has been a great friend and it is nice to have someone to talk to. The only odds of people being diagnosed with asperger's I have found are one in three-hundred which I'm glad I beat the odds on because I don't know three-hundred people. lol Oh and Google it if you want to know more about it, I found all the info I really needed on Wikipedia.
P.P.S. I see it as a blessing more than a curse because it quite literally makes me who I am and I like who I am. Never before have I found one thing that describes me perfectly but now when someone asks, "What the hell is wrong with you?" I can lift my head proudly and say, "I'm an aspie and wouldn't have it any other way."
(the above was taken from my myspace blog, the following are things I would like to add exclusively to wrongplanet)
I had nightmares about aliens and felt completely isolated and alone and it might sound stupid but the only conclusion I could think of was that I was an alien and didn't belong here. The most active symptom I seem to have is being fixated on one thing and only that thing and since I found out about asperger's it has been everything about it, ironic really. Anyway I would just like to talk more about it, I tried to ask my mom about my dad because I had read it is genetic in most cases and even though she described a few symptoms of asperger's I can't really be sure he had it. I will try to be active on this site but like I said when I get fixated on something I stick with it but never forever so don't get too attached to me. lol
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