Mullah Nasruddin Jokes
02 Dec 2007, 12:40 pm
Anyone heard any of these? they're old middle eastern jokes and folktales
A scholar being ferried by Nasrudin across a body of water chided Nasrudin for his ungrammatical language, and hearing he did not learn in school said: "What? half of your life has been wasted!"
Shortly afterwards, Nasrudin asked him: "Did you learn to swim?"
"No, I did not," replied the scholar.
"Well, in this case it seems all your life has been wasted ... we are sinking," said Nasrudin.
Nasreddin sat on a river bank when someone shouted to him from the opposite side:
- "Hey! how do I get across?"
- "You are across!" Nasreddin shouted back.
While on a trip to another village, Nasrudin lost his favorite copy of the Qur'an.
Several weeks later, a goat walked up to Nasrudin, carrying the Qur'an in its mouth.
Nasrudin couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the goat's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the goat. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Nasrudin is with his cronies drinking coffee:
They are discussing death, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first crony says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second says, " I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
Nasrudin says, " I would like to hear them say... LOOK!! HE'S MOVING!! !"
"May the Will of Allah be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other.
"It always is, in any case," said Mullah Nasruddin.
"How can you prove that, Mullah?" asked the man.
"Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another, MY will would be done, wouldn't it?"
Nasrudin was explaining how he was the 'boss' in his household.
"I always get the last word," said Nasrudin. "My wife tells me to do something and I say, 'Okay'."
"Nasrudin, is your religion orthodox?"
"It all depends," said Nasrudin, "on which bunch of heretics is in power."
"Nasrudin," a friend said one day, "I am moving to another village. Can I have your ring, so that I will remember you every time I look at it?"
Nasrudin replied, “Well, you might lose the ring and then forget about me. How about I don’t give you a ring in the first place—that way, every time that you look at your finger and don’t see a ring, you will definitely remember me.”
One day Nasruddin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and fur coat and returned. Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table. When the food was served, Nasruddin took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his fur coat and said,
- Eat, my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!
Two children found a bag containing twelve marbles. They argued over how to divide the toys and finally went to see the Mulla. When asked to settle their disagreement, the Mulla asked whether the children wanted him to divide the marbles as a human would or as Allah would.
The children replied, "We want it to be fair. Divide the marbles as Allah would."
So, the Mulla counted out the marbles and gave three to one child and nine to the other."
One day Nasruddin and his friends decided to tell play a joke on the people in a village. So Nasruddin drew a crowd, and lied to them about a gold mine in a certain place. When everybody ran to get their hands on the gold, Nasruddin started running with them. When asked by his friends why he was following them, he said "So many people believed it, that I think it may be true!"
Walking one evening along a deserted road, Nasruddin saw a troop of horsemen rapidly approaching. His imagination started to work; he saw himself captured or robbed or killed and frightened by this thought he bolted, climbed a wall into a graveyard, and lay down in an open grave to hide.
Puzzled at his bizzare behaviour, the horsemen - honest travellers - followed him.
They found him stretched out, tense, and shaking.
"What are you doing in that grave? We saw you run away. Can we help you? Why are you here in this place?"
"Just because you can ask a question does not mean that there is a straightforward answer to it," said Nasruddin, who now realized what had happened. "It all depends upon your viewpoint. If you must know, however, I am here because of you - and you are here because of me!"
A neighbor comes to Nasreddin Hoja.
"Would you lend me your donkey today, Hoja?" the neighbor asks, "I have goods to transport to the next town."
The Hoja answers: "I'm sorry, but I've already lent her to somebody else."
Suddenly the donkey is heard braying loudly behind a wall.
"You lied to me, Hoja!" the neighbor exclaims, "There is the donkey!"
"What do you mean?" the Hoja replies indignantly, "Whom would you rather believe, a donkey or your Hoja?"
There's alot more:
http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Nasrudin
http://www.themodernreligion.com/humour.htm
http://www.immediex.com/mullanasrudin.html
http://www.afghan-network.net/Funny/1.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasreddin
http://www.afghan-web.com/culture/jokes.html
