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Kitten
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03 Nov 2005, 11:21 pm

I'd like to get some info on Asperger Syndrome in adults. My son is 36 years old and has always had problems in life. He seems to have some symptoms of Asperger but I need more info. I'd like to communicate with an adult with Asperger.

Thank you.



lowfreq50
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03 Nov 2005, 11:34 pm

First of all, it is spelled "Asperger's" with a P not a B. Sorry, not tring to be rude--just helpful--so you can google the right word.

People with AS have a tendency to improve themselves over time (but not in all cases). The roughest time is in middle school and high school. Over time we learn to cope with the disorder, but it never goes away. There's no cure.

Could you tell us more about you son?



GroovyDruid
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03 Nov 2005, 11:42 pm

Hey Kitten,

There's a lot of pages out on the net that describe AS (Asperger's Syndrome), so you can find a concise description with lots of information, much better than we could describe here.

But there might be other ways for us to help you. I'm 24y/o, and I was diagnosed six months ago by a psychologist specializing in autism and AS. My mother (who is neurologically typical), god bless her, helped me to do that, and as a result, she has a broad understanding of AS from a neurologically typical viewpoint and from a mother's viewpoint. I'd be happy to send you her e-mail address, should you want it. She'd be pleased to answer any questions you have. I'd let her know you would be writing.

Good luck with this. It ain't easy, and it's wonderful that you're trying to improve your son's life by researching this information. :D



Jetson
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04 Nov 2005, 3:21 am

Kitten wrote:
I'd like to communicate with an adult with Asperger.
I'm 40. Is that old enough? :-) I was diagnosed with AS and ADHD earlier this year. What would you like to know?


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ender
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04 Nov 2005, 9:52 am

Kitten wrote:
I'd like to get some info on Asperger Syndrome in adults...


Well I'm 53 but not officially diagnosed, I suspect there are few people in their 30's up that are... If you are surviving there is little point (at my age, in my opinion) to get one. Before learning disabilities were accepted, aspie behavoriors tended to get kids branded slow or underachiving, problem kids that needed to be made to "tow the line"... Most higher function one were able find ways to generally conform to the classroom were less apt to draw the wrath of teachers these that couldn't... I don't really know... I found ways to generally pass under their radar, but I did have a few run ins with teacher. But the other kids could be crule especial as we got older... It was better in college... I was good in math and science and went into electrical engineering... and most of my peers were Nerds too, and were more tolorent of the oddness...

Ender



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04 Nov 2005, 10:15 am

I passed under every radar possible. But that is the problem at school, if kids are not seen to be any trouble even if they are loners then they just leave you be. You have a few run ins, but they tend to either mark you as a non-achiever and then get suprised when you do really well in your final school exams, or they think you are trying to be clever and mark you as a potential trouble causer.

When I got my exam results from my GCSE's I was well chuffed. Didn't spend any time studying and passed em all without any effort. That really wound them up especially when I told them I didn't do any work for them. My parents were there with me at the time and they backed me up too :) because they knew I never did any work or study and didn't think I was gonna pass anything.

I remember one of my teachers laughing when I told them I was going to university to study law. He said, You? HHAHAHAHA. I wanted to kick him in the face. Anyway. I got my law degree. WAHAHAHAHA.


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LuluLulu
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05 Nov 2005, 7:04 pm

@wooyayhooplah

I think that's one of the annoying things about Asperger's, the preconceptions and stereotypes and prejudices.

There's this fairly common belief that Aspies are either (a) high level geeks, or (b) unable to do anything more taxing than stacking cans of beans on shelves in supermarkets.

I have a legal background - worked as a PA, worked as a court reporter (legal editor), worked as a paralegal for an international law firm, and I also did the first year of a law degree, but then moved to a different city, then went travelling, with the intention of returning to complete it, but then switching career completely.

I think law *might* be problematic if you do a lot of client facing work, which requires empathy and certain social skills that maybe Aspies aren't exactly suited to, but in lots of ways I think the law is ideal for Aspies.

In the legal profession, you can talk like the stereotypical 'little professor' and it won't seem out of place, because everyone talks like that, even non-Aspies! Legal language is so incredibly formal and so tightly formulated, that's the kind of things Aspies do really well.

Need someone to pick holes in the opposing sides legal arguments? Call an Aspie lawyer. Aspies can pay attention to detail, and also, I found that because I was quite good at recognising patterns and similarities, I was quite good at processing the information in a fuzzy logic type manner, comparing different cases, finding their similarities and differences, in order to base a legal argument.

I love playing around with words and language. There's a stereotype that Aspies aren't good at communication or languages, well, maybe there's something in that as relates to social skills, but personally I don't have any language deficits, I like to think about different words, the different connotations and which is the most appropriate. Lawyers are always drafting and redrafting correspondence and legal agreements to change the meaning ever so slightly. Just as some Aspies can become fluent in C++ or Java or HTML or whatever programing languages they're into, so I was fluent in legalese, which is almost, in a way, a separate or associated language, it's English Jim, but not as we know it.

Working in a law firm, there are codes of conduct, there's a structure to your day and to your work, a hierarchy in terms of the management, a framework, there are deadlines. In some ways, for some Aspies, such a pressured environment might be problematic, but for other Aspies, like me, that structure can mean you can relax and just get on with your tasks, because you're not operating in a chaotic system, you're operating in one where all those things are set up for you, you don't have to worry about them.

The higher up you go, though, the more marketing type stuff you have to do, the more you have to participate in 'beauty parades' and pitch to prospective clients. Those are things where an Aspie might not be so good, at least not with colleagues who are supportive and who can do the schmoozing and boozing.

I think Aspies can also have quite strong moral values and a a strong sense of right and wrong, and the law appealed to my sense of justice and injustice.



Coctyle
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05 Nov 2005, 7:54 pm

I never studied until about my junior year of HS. I absolutely loved the standardized tests that most kids hated; they just seemed so easy, but not boring. I didn't do as well on the language parts, but still well above the median. On all the math and science stuff, I was always in the 99th percentile. My biggest problem was doing homework, I would generaly just forget about it or not feel like doing it when I got home and could escape into TV or whatever. I was also definately considered a troublemaker. I was often argumentative with teachers and, although I saw myself as a victim of bullies, most adults seemed to label me as an instigator. I actually wanted to be a lawyer at one time (in elementary school) and had a teacher laugh at me for that, I guess because she thought my arguing skills were poor. She was probably right about that, but it bugs me to this day that she laughed at me about it.

I'm 29, so I am just a little too old to have gone to elementary school when ADD and syndromes on the autistic spectrum were recognized and accepted, so I was labeled as an underacheiver, unmotivated, lathargic, unfocused, etc. I often heard adults say, "All you have to do is pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get to work." I just never cared about my own acedemic progress. I was interested in certain subjects (as a kid, dinosaurs, airplanes, space, robotics, computers) but I was pretty indifferent to the idea of competing with other people, academically or otherwise.

High School was actually the best time in my life. I met a lot of other "freaks", people who had been outside of society's norms for whatever reason, and we all excepted and appreciated each other. These people are still my only real friends. I was involved in theatre, which I think was great for me. Sometimes stutterers are advised to take up singing, because the words and rythm are established in advance, so the person can often do it without stuttering. I think theatre is similar for people with social difficulties, because you don't have to choose what to say or how to behave, but you get to experience all sorts of different social situations. Its kind of like practice for real life.

Because of my job, I don't really have the time to do theatre anymore, but I would suggest it as a possible therepy for others. There is definately some stress involved, so you have to be able to handle that, but most theatre people are very understanding and sympathetic to those that are different than the "norm".



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05 Nov 2005, 8:41 pm

I'm a 25 year old with AS- I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. Previously, I had been diagnosed as ADD (minus the hyperactivity compenent) with "other social difficulty".

My biggest challenges are dealing with sensory integration issues and maintenance of social relationships. The "normal" day to day routine is tough for me due to my issues with noise, bright and florescent lights, and touch.

I have a couple of friends, but have always struggled with this in my life. I've also had a few romantic relationships, but they tend to be few and far between.

On the plus side, I have been very successful at my job, I own my own house, and I am putting myself through school without debt (aside from my mortgage). On that front, I couldn't ask for more, and I attribute a lot of my success to being able to harness the natural talents inherent to most on the spectrum.

As far as the study part, I don't do conventional studying either. Mainly before a big test I will flip through the textbook again to remind myself of the major topics and refresh terms for an hour or so, if that. The main part of flipping through the material is to spur my photgraphic memory with a "fresh" copy of the material.


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Coctyle
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05 Nov 2005, 9:33 pm

Anachronism-your sig is HELARIOUS

Also, you've had a "few" romantic relationships at 25. You're way ahead of me :wink:



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05 Nov 2005, 9:43 pm

Coctyle wrote:
Anachronism-your sig is HELARIOUS

Also, you've had a "few" romantic relationships at 25. You're way ahead of me :wink:


This site contains the only folks that regularly get that joke. :)


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Jim_Crawford
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07 Nov 2005, 6:39 am

Ender wrote: "Well I'm 53 but not officially diagnosed, I suspect there are few people in their 30's up that are... If you are surviving there is little point (at my age, in my opinion) to get one."

My colleagues in disability services diagnosed me when I was 45, and that was OK except that I continued to experience discrimination and bullying by so-called caring welfare workers so sought a formal diagnosis at age 50 so as to able to gain some protection on the basis that it was discriminatory to attack someone with AS. It did not help; they kept on with their behaviour. That is what many NTs are like.

Jim Crawford.



ender
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07 Nov 2005, 8:58 am

Jim_Crawford wrote:
Ender wrote: "Well I'm 53 but not officially diagnosed, I suspect there are few people in their 30's up that are... If you are surviving there is little point (at my age, in my opinion) to get one."

My colleagues in disability services diagnosed me when I was 45, and that was OK except that I continued to experience discrimination and bullying by so-called caring welfare workers so sought a formal diagnosis at age 50 so as to able to gain some protection on the basis that it was discriminatory to attack someone with AS. It did not help; they kept on with their behaviour. That is what many NTs are like.

Jim Crawford.


That's the reason I question the value of an "official" dx... what will it "buy" me.

Many NT's simply refuse to accept any behavour that differs from what they consider "normal" and if you aren't what they consider normal you are a target. There are the bullies we've all dealt with them but there are also the "antibullies" that want to "help" you become more normal, whether you want to or not. In there way they are worst because the mean well... not understanding that dragging an Aspie into a social satuation is torture and the Aspie may once "released" may spend hours curaled into a ball in a corner coming down from the overload...

Ender



Mark
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07 Nov 2005, 9:44 am

ender wrote:
That's the reason I question the value of an "official" dx... what will it "buy" me.

A reason might be the resolution of the uncertainty, which in turn has a bearing on whether or not it is possible to address some of the day-to-day problems of living with AS in an NT world.

ender wrote:
If you are surviving there is little point

Just surviving is not enough if there are reasonable things that can better your life.



Cato
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07 Nov 2005, 10:38 pm

I'm 41, married, and work for a web hosting company. I also am a freelance Latin translator and interpreter (stop laughing; CBS gave me a bunch of money for doing the papal Masses in April). We have no children, but we do have two dogs.

My diagnosis came in May 2005, after my wife found AS in one of her textbooks. I would say that the toughest things about AS for me are the ways it impacts everyday life. I hate driving; I am quite clumsy; my eye contact with others is almost nonexistent; my stimming creates some entertainment for those who work with me; chit-chat makes me want to flee the room.

In some respects, I am very fortunate. I gave my co-workers some info on AS, and they don't seem disturbed by it. My obsessions change from time to time, but my interest in languages remains. And while AS has created some problems in our marriage, particularly in the communication department, my wife understands the disorder reasonably well. My faith also gives me some comfort.

Chronic depression is an issue, but I am being treated for it. I don't know what else to say, so feel free to write.


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