| Do you hate shaking hand, hugging, ect.. |
| Yes |
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59% |
[ 47 ] |
| No |
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40% |
[ 32 ] |
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| Total Votes : 79 |
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m91
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 208
Location: London, United Kingdom
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 Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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I gotta say I like actually like hugs, though not many people hug me. It makes me feel wanted in this world.
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87358
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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Ems
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 03, 2008
Posts: 32
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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No, I don't hate it at all. I like to be hugged (especially by friends  ) I hug my best friend every day . I also like holding hands sometimes. It may sound childish but whatever  |
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freak_audio
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 10, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 152
Location: Belfast, N. Ireland
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| Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:36 am Post subject: |
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I'm really quite affectionate for the most part.. but only with people I know.
And I still freak out a bit on occasion for no apparent reason.
Absolutely despise shaking hands with people when I meet them.
I think it results in the thinking I'm just disgusted by them.  |
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AndersTheAspie
Angelic Knight
Joined: Feb 07, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 1862
Location: On the edge of civilization. Denmark.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:56 am Post subject: |
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To me it is all a matter of pressure. I HATE light handshakes, hugs or touching in general.
I find that the discomfort drops exponentially with the pressure applied, and indeed goes into the comfort at higher degrees of pressure.
Sorry for talking math here, but it remains the best way of illustrating. Basically I agree with Strapples
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Strapples
Strapplius, God of straps!
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 19257
Location: Chicago Area IL (FAR FROM AUTISM SPEAKS)
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| Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 10:18 am Post subject: |
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| AndersTheAspie wrote: | To me it is all a matter of pressure. I HATE light handshakes, hugs or touching in general.
I find that the discomfort drops exponentially with the pressure applied, and indeed goes into the comfort at higher degrees of pressure.
Sorry for talking math here, but it remains the best way of illustrating. Basically I agree with Strapples |
ding ding ding!
jackpot! your like me... cant stand light pressure yet loves deep pressure... most aspies hate being touched period according to the stereotype.
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MrSinister
Sanity Is Madness
Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Age: 33
Posts: 2935
Location: England
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| Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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Hugging people I know and trust, I can deal with (and even initiate). People I'm not so sure about, on the other hand... 
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Smelena
Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Joined: Apr 02, 2007
Posts: 2150
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:54 am Post subject: |
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| MrSinister wrote: | | Hugging people I know and trust, I can deal with (and even initiate). People I'm not so sure about, on the other hand... |
I was lucky enough to get a hug from you!!
Helen |
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MattD
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 03, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 479
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 6:38 am Post subject: |
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| Afroman wrote: | | Im not a big fan of shaking hands or hugging but...... if its like..... ummm the thing to be done at that time.... i'll do it |
yeah i agree. |
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nomad21
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 305
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| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:55 am Post subject: |
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| I have no problem with handshakes. I do not like hugging, though. I still do it when I have to, like visiting my grandma. I'd break her heart if I flat-out refused to hug her, lol. |
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Ithaca
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:08 am Post subject: |
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I have never had an issue with shaking hands. Hugging is something I didn't realize that I had a problem with until fairly recently (within the past year). I am not one to initiate hugs, but if someone hugs me (usually women I don't know well, but are friends of my partner) I will participate in the hug. The person I hug back usually notices that I am not really physically present in the hug (sometimes, it's commented on.) I don't really get a lot out of hugs and I can't feel them...even with my partner, who I trust completely. My partner loves hugs, so I give her hugs and I've gotten better at learning to feel them with her, but if I had the choice, I wouldn't necessarily give a hug. She loves the physical contact and I want to make her happy.
Just the other day, she and I were talking about hugs in general and hugs between the two of us. Since we've just recently discovered that I have mild AS, we decided to talk about this issue among others. I mistakenly told her that when we hug I can't always feel it (most of the time, but not always) and this really upset her...it made her cry. She then said we shouldn't hug then if I don't get anything out of it...I clarified that for her and told her that it is only sometimes that I don't feel anything. That seemed OK with her. For me, all of this is so hard, because I didn't know until recently that I was so different from other people when it came to hugs or physical contact. I know it's hard for my partner as well. We're working on it.
Great topic! |
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Betzalel
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 350
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:15 am Post subject: |
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I hate touching of any kind in a social context. but I have managed to just make shaking hands a game.
I can handle that well unless they don't release their grip when i do and hang on I HATE that.
I also feel dirty after shaking hands and have to find an excuse to go and wash my hands. I consider the whole thing very unsanitary. |
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pinkbowtiepumps
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 574
Location: US
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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I don't like shaking hands, because a lot of people will judge you by your handshake. I don't have a very strong handshake (it just sort of sits there), so I often dread it.
I much prefer hugs. I love being able to hug people that I first meet, even though the opportunity is rather rare... |
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RohrbachDS
Sea Gull
Joined: Feb 15, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 235
Location: Pennsylvania, US
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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| I despise having to touch anyone for any reason. Even if it's just an accidental brush on the arm it feels so weird... |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 7610
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:32 am Post subject: |
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I really hate shaking hands. It feels like forced intimacy with a person you don't even know, and have no desire to touch them! I, too, feel the strong urge to go and wash my hands afterward. I also don't like casual hugs from people I don't really care about. In my family, hugging is something we reluctantly do after not seeing each other for a really long time. Tight, heavy pressure hugs I have experienced on a few rare occasions, and enjoyed. But they were from a friend who had kids on the spectrum, and she knew how to give a hug!  So I have to say, maybe I like hugs when they are given right, and by people I love.
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