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NewportBeachDude
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 25, 2007
Posts: 355
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 Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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| DW_a_mom wrote: | My personal sense is that a behavior plan isn't really appropriate. It doesn't strike me that your son is doing anything so "off" that it warrants the stress to him of working on it. You cannot expect him to be like other children; he will develope at an entirely different pace, far above average in some areas, and far behind in others. It's just who he is, and the more you try to change that, the more behavior issues you will get.
Your son is probably acting out at school because he feels stressed. It may be sensory issues, it may be social, it may be the expectations, or all of the above. My son, for example, never could sit still, and still doesn't, but the school long ago simply stopped asking him to. Funny how little accomodations like that ended up making such a big difference. As long as he can fuss and fidget and sit funny, he will keep quiet and do his work. If they try to stop the constant motion behavior, then he becomes disruptive.
Parenting an Aspie child is really a life of picking your battles. What behavior REALLY matters, and what can you let slide? What behavior is self-calming to him, and thus needs to be allowed if at all possible? What can be channeled for limited periods of time, like during school hours, as long as the child has permission to act his own crazy way when home?
As far as some specific skills go, my son didn't learn to color within the lines until he was 9 or 10, and he still can't tie his shoes properly. This is totally within the range of normal for an Aspie child, and I wouldn't let it worry you. My son has done great in school moving ahead at his own pace, but definitely moving ahead - he would be bored if we held him back from his grade, and it has been universally agreed among the IEP team that that would never be the answer. Still, it's a constant game of catch up in certain areas, like writing and homework, and it probably always will be. That is the burden side to his being Aspie. But the gift side - my, that is rich. My son's standardized test scores are fantastic, and his imagination is actually gaining him fans/groupies among younger kids at school. He constantly invents new games that he shares with kids at school, and some of them have proved very popular. He is also well respected among his peers for his math and science knowledge.
I am glad you are working on the sensory issues - that should help quite a bit. And, then, see what happens if you let your special boy mostly just "be." It could surprise you. |
Dw_1_mom, a behavior plan doesn't mean the kid is doing something wrong. In this case, behavior mod and/or a Para may be totally appropriate. It's great that your kid only needed to fidgit and move in order to do well, but other spectrum kids may need something more substantial. Your kid doesn't represent every kid on the spectrum.
Gogomom, again, this is only a suggestion. ABA or any other behavior mod are geared to work on things like transitions. A modified discrete trials specifically for our kid's needs was probably the most instrumental resource we had in helping him with transitions and I know lots of parents who used it for the same purposes. Transitions in school. Transitions at home. Transitions out in public. If a kid is stressed and not transitioning according to compliance, it can help the kid work through that in whatever environment he's in. And, you don't have to use the goodies or incentives. We took those away long ago and his program looks more like pivotal response, than discrete trials. Read Ster's post and a behavior plan supervisor (the person who trains the therapist to implement the program) will help you with all of what she's mentioning. It sounds like she's used on before.
Look into it and a Para/Aid. A Para doesn't always have to be on top of the kid. The Para can be a shadow for a while and just keep the kid on track until the day comes that the Para is no longer needed. Having the Para there can make a huge difference in the kid paying attention in class and learning. Trust me, I've been down the road you're on. |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2727
Location: new england
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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| i forgot to mention that rewarding positive behavior doesn't necessarily have to be any sort of tangible thing.....some kids respond to positive praise. my son was not one of those kids, still isn't.....for son, we resorted to tangible things. for instance, every time he exhibited our target behavior he received a ticket to put in a jar. once he earned 10 tickets, he could turn them in for a trip to the corner store for a snack......we were eventually able to wean son off the plan. |
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NewportBeachDude
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 25, 2007
Posts: 355
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| ster wrote: | | i forgot to mention that rewarding positive behavior doesn't necessarily have to be any sort of tangible thing.....some kids respond to positive praise. my son was not one of those kids, still isn't.....for son, we resorted to tangible things. for instance, every time he exhibited our target behavior he received a ticket to put in a jar. once he earned 10 tickets, he could turn them in for a trip to the corner store for a snack......we were eventually able to wean son off the plan. |
Thanks for mentioning that. Our son isn't 100% weaned off the tangible things, but we've removed the tangibles that have fructose and sucrose in them, if you know what I mean. Now we have a system like yours. It's a task board that he puts stickers (stars) on and works his way towards a goal.
Good point. I don't want to leave parents with the impression the kids get treats all day. |
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Gogomom
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 02, 2007
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks newportBeachDude and Ster. I am very interested in learning more about the things you both mentioned. I will be checking into that ASAP.
Thanks everyone for all of your replies and advice.
Amy |
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