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roguetech
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 418
Location: Springfield
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 Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:42 am Post subject: Date gift |
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In a few days, I have a first date with a lady I met online a week or two ago. Been thinking about what to bring... Obviously the social norms are candy or flowers. In the movies they always bring a bottle of wine or Champange, but that's a bit too high-brow. I know a gift personalized towards her would be best, but I'd like to hear suggestions on what you think would work, or even sillyness you've seen in movies or what have you. Later I'll post the ideas I've thought of and am actually considering, so you can point and laugh at me  |
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zee
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Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Posts: 1232
Location: in the dark
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:04 am Post subject: Re: Date gift |
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| I don't think you need to bring anything but yourself. Maybe a single flower if you really want to get something, but anything more would be too much, IMO. |
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roguetech
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 418
Location: Springfield
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| My issue is that flowers and candy are over-rated, and both just don't seem right. Flowers are seem horrific to me, since it's like "here's my present to you at the beginning of our relationship... It'll be dead in two days." Candy is fattening, and, not to sound mean or hypocritical, but doesn't seem right to give that to a date that you're (let's be honest...) "checking out". But, there's got to be more options even for a token gift... |
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zee
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:24 am Post subject: |
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The thing is, you shouldn't need to get her anything. You don't know her, maybe she doesn't like either of those things. But more importantly, it may seem like you're trying to bribe her with gifts, if that makes sense.
I would say focus on being attentive, rather than buying stuff. Try and make a good impression with yourself alone. |
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sarahstilettos
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 08, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 852
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| I really don't think you have to bring anything to a first date. To be honest I would find almost anything odd at that stage. |
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jonk
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 329
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:27 am Post subject: |
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Something that represents you is another option. What is it that is a piece of who you are?
It might be a book I really enjoyed and is about a subject I care a lot about, for example, if there is also a chance she might also enjoy it. Or something I built, but isn't too much work. If I were into pottery, for example, I might give one of my better coffee or tea cups.
Just another direction to think in.
Jon
_________________
Say what you will about the sweet mystery of unquestioning faith. I consider a capacity for it terrifying. [Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.]
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zee
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:33 am Post subject: |
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| Who do you want advice from, men or women? |
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jonk
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 329
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:41 am Post subject: |
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| zee wrote: | | Try and make a good impression with yourself alone. |
That seems wise.
Jon
_________________
Say what you will about the sweet mystery of unquestioning faith. I consider a capacity for it terrifying. [Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.]
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roguetech
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 418
Location: Springfield
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Who do you want advice from, men or women? |
Yes.
| Quote: | | Something that represents you is another option. What is it that is a piece of who you are? ... It might be a book I really enjoyed and is about a subject I care a lot about, for example, if there is also a chance she might also enjoy it. |
Well, I'll problably give her a book on AS, but that's more "here, I done read it, and even if it sucked, figured you might want it" type thing  . The only thing I make are messes.
| Quote: | | You don't know her, maybe she doesn't like either of those things. |
I know her somewhat, we been talking for quite a bit the last week. I know she's not alergic to either, at the least  . My thoughts are either a little stuffed cat (pros: cute, cheap, and useless; cons: stupid and worthless) or a cat-nip mouse for each of her "babies" (pros: cute, cheap, says "for you", useful; cons: stinky, says "for your cats").
This is one of those things that used to be common, and even though it may have fallen out of fashion, it's still a romantic thing to do. But it's one of those things that dating guides never mention... So now I'm stumped whether to get anything. [I know it doesn't really matter, but it's better than worrying whether I'll crash and burn, or if I should -eek- be shopping for the right prophylactic instead  ] |
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riverotter
River Otter
Joined: Oct 11, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 1020
Location: here and now
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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A hand-written card? That would say a lot about yourself.
More stuff is just...more stuff (sorry for the tautology).
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Asterisp
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Posts: 676
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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Depends on the setting of your date. When it is at his/her home you could take something to eat or drink.
When going away then it would be more difficult. I am not that experienced in dates away. |
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Obres
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Posts: 421
Location: NYC
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| sarahstilettos wrote: | | I really don't think you have to bring anything to a first date. To be honest I would find almost anything odd at that stage. |
I agree. If you're going out, don't bring anything. The only circumstances you should bring a gift is if the date is at her house and she's cooking you dinner or something, which is already a bit unusual for a first date. |
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Aspie1
Overman
Joined: Mar 08, 2005
Posts: 3066
Location: United States
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with most people on here. In the distant past (read: before the 80's), it was practically a requirement for a guy to bring flowers or chocolates on the first date. The custom started to weaken in the 80's and early 90's, fell into disuse after that, and almost completely died out after the year 2000. A lot of it has to do with with constant messages about how a girl is never obligated to get physical with a guy, even if he spends a fortune on the date, as well as the fact that women now make about as much as men. So in the end, bringing a gift ended up being an unnecessary expense.
Nowadays, bringing a gift on the first date is actually looked down upon to a certain extent; it's believed to be a sign of desperation on the guy's part and/or an attempt to "buy" the girl's company. So don't bring anything, not even a card (and what kind would really be appropriate for the first date?). Just read up on some "how to" information, show up, and have fun. |
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roguetech
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 418
Location: Springfield
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Well, she is from an older generation... And I am desparate. |
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merr
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2007
Posts: 683
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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I dont know roguetech, but I'd LOVE to get candy. Most women like chocolate- so opt for some godivas or russel stowe's or turtles or something. It may be fattening but it's a treat right? It's something you can use and it'll make her think of you when she's eating it later on.
If it's your first date, dont bring anything. But if you two have talked a lot and you know a lot about eachother, I think it would be ok and thoughtful. A card would be too much too soon. Flowers are nice -some women like them- but they die. Candies are tasty, and therefore the best. |
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