| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
wellywomble
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 25, 2008
Posts: 45
Location: UK
|
 Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:15 pm Post subject: Wanting a family |
 |
|
Hello, I'm new.
I'm undiagnosed as yet but have thought I'm as aspie for over three years now, so much makes sense now whereas it didn't before.
The only thing that makes me doubt my self diagnosis in the fact that it's my dream to fall in love and have a family.
All the aspies I've known in real life just aren't interested in this. I know everyone is different but does the fact that I hope to raise a family one day suggest I'm not an aspie after all?
Many thanks. |
|
| Back to top |
|
jason_b1980
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Posts: 89
Location: Ohio
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| All people are different and want different things, so just because you want a family doesn't mean you are not an aspie. For several years I didn't want people around, nor did I want a family of my own, but after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend (first real girlfriend), I have found that I do want a family(although maybe not have my own kids) in the near future, and do like having people around more than I thought. |
|
| Back to top |
|
spudnik
Exterminate Exterminate Exterminate
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 2358
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
You want a family, you can have mine  |
|
| Back to top |
|
richardbenson
frostbitten kingdom worlds
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 8172
Location: you cant live somewhere hot. you need subzero tempatures
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
i go by what my lord has said:
29. Jesus said, "If the flesh came into being because of spirit, that is a marvel, but if spirit came into being because of the body, that is a marvel of marvels.
Yet I marvel at how this great wealth has come to dwell in this poverty."
30. Jesus said, "Where there are three deities, they are divine. Where there are two or one, I am with that one."
49. Jesus said, "Congratulations to those who are alone and chosen, for you will find the kingdom. For you have come from it, and you will return there again." |
|
| Back to top |
|
mikebw
kyubi no kitsune
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1017
Location: Florida
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
There are people here that do seem to want a family, or more correctly a life partner. Not so many women as men, though.
_________________
The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 1761
Location: Middle East
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: |
|
|
| spudnik wrote: | | You want a family, you can have mine |
And mine!!
_________________
"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
|
| Back to top |
|
gbollard
the oncoming storm
Joined: Oct 06, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 2852
Location: Sydney, Australia
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:19 am Post subject: |
|
|
I'm aspie, I fell in love, I got a family and two aspie (well, one aspie and one HFA) kids.
It's not outside the criteria.
BTW: Welcome 
_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/ |
|
| Back to top |
|
juancho
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
Age: 83
Posts: 68
Location: New Zealand
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
I always wanted a wife and family.
Almost sixty years ago (in 1949) my wife and I were married; we had 5 children and now have 9 grandchildren. (No more g-children likely!) We were divorced almost 35 years ago after about 25 years of marriage. Neither of us has remarried.
Quite some time ago my ex-wife was DXed with schizophrenia; neuroses have dogged her for a long time, possibly for all her life. (She has an IQ of 158.) I first read about AS about 5 years ago and immediately recognised the source of some, if not most, of my own life-long problems. I can now understand that I was responsible for at least 50 % of our marital difficulties, whereas until my Eureka! moment concerning AS I generously attributed the major part of our problems to my wife.
All our 5 children seem to be OK mentally. While there have been three divorces among them, they all live generally happy lives. Some of the g'children have problems: one g'child is so shy that he hardly ventures from home, yet he seems to have an eidetic memory and has wide intellectual interests. (His sister seems perfectly normal.) The child in another family has been diagnosed with abnormal anxiety. And still another has SIDS (sensory integration dysfunction syndrome) but manages well enough to be in a class for gifted children.
Would I go through it all again? Yes, I would, but that answer isn't for everybody. |
|
| Back to top |
|
woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 2436
Location: NY
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
My untimate dream is to find that special girl and raise a family, but connecting at that level is the only problem with my ASD that I simply have not found a way to conqure. Its quite depressing, having to come to terms with the fact that I will never grow old with someone I love and never have children of my own. I will probably die alone and I have struggled to come to terms with that and just cant.
My only other option now is to adopt, I may not have a wife but I can do some good in this messed up world and give a child in need a chance at having a better life, perhapse that is my destiny, idk?!
_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead. |
|
| Back to top |
|
gbollard
the oncoming storm
Joined: Oct 06, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 2852
Location: Sydney, Australia
|
|
| Back to top |
|
jawbrodt
Only Truth
Joined: Jan 27, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 4232
Location: Northcentral, Pennsylvania
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I think alot of us would like to have families, but, we know that we are practically incapable of leading that lifestyle. For most of us, it's just a dream, that, we will most likely, never achieve. Some of us are able though....
_________________
Those who speak, don't know.
Those who know, don't speak. |
|
| Back to top |
|
aspergian_mutant
Learning to Walk
Joined: Oct 28, 2004
Posts: 1388
Location: Lost in Inner Space
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I to have always wanted that my friend,
but every relationship I have been in never lasts,
the girls most always end up with the children when its over be they aspi them selves or not,
A large part of me wanted children in hopes that they could help fill my life,
I gave up on relationships, thats one of the reasons I am fighting so hard to keep my son,
but as socially inept as I am its hard, the court system is not built for us.
_________________
"No matter where you go, there you are." |
|
| Back to top |
|
SilverProteus
The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Joined: Jul 21, 2007
Posts: 7154
Location: Fleet Street.
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Greentea wrote: | | spudnik wrote: | | You want a family, you can have mine |
And mine!! |
Mine's for sale!
_________________
"How about a shave?"
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Age1600
Bonita-Azul
Joined: Apr 23, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 1581
Location: New Jersey
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I want a family one day, even though my diagnosis is just autism, i have a boyfriend who plans to have a family as well. Don't ever let people make you think you cant do what you want, you can do anythign if u put ur mind to it. I'm deathly afraid to be a mother, but i still want to be and i will ten times harder just to make sure that child is happy and healthy.
_________________
Dxed Classic Autism(moderate to severe as a child, now moderate to high functioning as an adult) & Dxed Tourette Syndrome... 
I'm one ticcing, stimming chica from the Jersey Shore 
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated  |
|
| Back to top |
|
TheDoctor82
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Posts: 141
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:22 am Post subject: |
|
|
I definitely want a family one day- and still do believe that my girlfriend is "the one". Now, I'll be 26 in a few days...I don't even want to tie the knot until I'm in my very early '30s at least, then maybe wait a few more years for kids.
I want to make sure I'm a bit more mature, and have more time to mature in my relationship with my love; I also want to make sure we're both much more financially sound than we currently are. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
