Hi all

Scottydont · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject:

Hi everybody, I'm Scott.

I came to this forum at the recommendation of a local autism support group, and it looks like I've found the right place.

I'm undiagnosed, but at this point I'm 100% convinced that I have Asperger's. At 33, I've got a good job and a bright career ahead of me. I own my home, and generally everything about my life looks normal to the outsider....

To me, it's always felt like I'm just going through the motions for everybody else. I have to act all the time just to interact. Being myself just doesn't work. I don't form many close relationships, don't interact much with my co-workers, and generally feel like I'm invisible in social situations.

A year or so ago I heard about Asperger's and the list of symptoms really gave me pause. It was one of those "hey, that sounds like me" moments. Then I picked up a copy of "Look me in th eye" by John Robinson. Within an hour of starting to read it, I was ready to throw the book across the room. That's how shockingly similar my life (not the abuse part) was to what he experienced. Now I just need to figure out what comes next.

In spite of my own convictions, I think I'd really like to get officially diagnosed. But I don't really know where to start. I the little bit of skimming of this forum that I've already done I've noticed a few people talking about tests that sound like quickie online tests... That's as good of a starting place as any, where/how can I find one. Also, is there any kind of easy resource for local psycologists that deal specifically with Asperger's or Autism? The local support organization I mentioned didn't have any advice for me except "come to our group and ask". I'm really not ready for that yet.

Let's see, what else.... I guess that the only other thing I can say is that the area I have the most trouble with is relationships and dating. I basically don't date, but its not because I don't want to. I just don't understand social situations well enough to make or take opportunities up as they come along. I can't tell you how many of the "slap your forehead" surprise realizations I've had when I finally deciphered a girls body language and hints and figured out that she was interested and just waiting for me to make a move..... Usually, that happens weeks, months, or sometimes even years after she's left my sphere of influence..... Even when I do pick up on things, I get so wound up about what to do that I usually end up not doing anything. Or worse, I turn girls that I'm interested in into close friends because I can't seem to take things beyond that stage. I've been accused (by women that were interested enough in me to talk about it) of being "aloof", "too shy", "too chivalrous", "sociopathic", and "disinterested". None of those things are true, but from the outside looking in, I can see why people think that.

Well, that's me in a nutshell I guess.