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CaptainMac
Raven
Joined: Mar 10, 2008
Posts: 122
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 Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: Are AS girls attracted to AS guys without knowing they're AS |
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OK, here's the deal...I've got this girl who freely admits she has AS who is crushing on me/obsessing about me. She doesn't know that I've got AS.
Do you think there's something in some AS people that draws them to others even if they don't really know them? Is this possible?
BTW: I have no interest in dating right now since I'm trying to get into a good grad school and then a PhD. |
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Kalister1
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 09, 2007
Posts: 2001
Location: California
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| Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:39 pm Post subject: |
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All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. Life is more than work
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Join the ALA (Aspie Liberation Army), together we will rule WP!
"Death to black culture! " - Slowmutant, showing us just how much Jesus loves all cultures. |
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whathaveidone
Emu Egg
Joined: Mar 02, 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:03 am Post subject: |
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| you are retarded man, i tried to focus on school, it dosent work, go for the girl, she is the only thing that will make you happy in the end, and plus if she has AS too then you will have very similar experiences, communication styles etc..... you can't let moments like that pass you by in life |
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Mikomi
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 682
Location: On top of your TV, lookin' at you funny.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:45 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I think so. My husband and I were attracted to each other in large part because of our AS traits. We didn't know at the time.
As for not dating because you're pursuing a degree... 
Just make sure you're thinking ahead. I don't want you to get ten years down the road, be lonely and think to yourself, "Why did I let that one go? What might have been?" I continued working on and obtained my degree after getting married. Relationships and education are not mutually exclusive.
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Curiosity is not a mental illness. |
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Kalister1
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 09, 2007
Posts: 2001
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:51 am Post subject: |
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| Mikomi wrote: | Yes, I think so. My husband and I were attracted to each other in large part because of our AS traits. We didn't know at the time.
As for not dating because you're pursuing a degree...
Just make sure you're thinking ahead. I don't want you to get ten years down the road, be lonely and think to yourself, "Why did I let that one go? What might have been?" I continued working on and obtained my degree after getting married. Relationships and education are not mutually exclusive. |
Yeah, what she said!
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Join the ALA (Aspie Liberation Army), together we will rule WP!
"Death to black culture! " - Slowmutant, showing us just how much Jesus loves all cultures. |
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nory
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 379
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:40 am Post subject: |
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It's very complicated and I don't know what to say.
I decided some long time ago I was not meant for the world of such relationships and so staunchly remained single. I also knew that it was hard enough dividing my time between subjects, and I was happiest and most successful at things when I poured all my attention mostly into one thing or interest (usually abstract) at once. Aside from thinking I was not suited or destined for it, I also knew that Grad school would be too stressful and unsatisfactory if I tried to have a relationship as well, (reading about them in Shakespeare is enough!). Especially the way they are today.
That said, I do now, much later, regret missing out on some of the experiences I may have had now that I look back on some of the genuinely nice people who tried to befriend me. I think I reacted with the same sort of suspicion and quick exit as you may be doing now. Most of the advice here is to go for it, so maybe you should.
I'll add however that as a guy you will be considered still "young" probably for the next 30 years. in your case - once you have a PhD and have by then pursued your interests in full - girls of all sorts will be all over you and the AS will just be the icing on the cake and so you have nothing to worry about. It sounds like actually your just not that into this one so my final advice, I've decided, is to follow your first inclination and focus on the school. |
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Pobodys_Nerfect
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: |
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| Yes I think Aspies are attracted to eachother. I think both my parents are Aspies. I think if you're studying so much that you don't have time for a girl friend then you're studying too much. And I know I think too much. |
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Zonder
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 448
Location: Great Lakes
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:14 am Post subject: |
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I avoided relationships because I was planning on attending grad school and thought I'd find HER at school. Guess what? She wasn't there. That was 14 years ago and I am still single.
When opportunity knocks . . .
And, to use another adage, birds of a feather flock together. Aspies are attracted to aspies, whether they know they are aspies or not. We are attracted to others who are on the same "wavelength" as we are.
Z
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Nobel Prize Speech, 1950
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Aridarr
the Homicidal Maniac
Joined: Oct 01, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 1293
Location: Over the stars...?
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:56 am Post subject: |
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Nah. I just get unwittingly attracted to Borderlines (BPD, not borderline AS.). 
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Zonder
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 448
Location: Great Lakes
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:01 am Post subject: |
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| Aridarr wrote: | | Nah. I just get unwittingly attracted to Borderlines (BPD, not borderline AS.). |
I'd read that Borderline Personality Disorder is sometimes misdiagnosed Aspergers Syndrome. Maybe you really are attracted to other Aspies.
Z |
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richardbenson
frostbitten kingdom worlds
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 8156
Location: you cant live somewhere hot. you need subzero tempatures
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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i can usually tell if a girl has aspergers and im shure girls can tell i have it  |
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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 1972
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | BTW: I have no interest in dating right now since I'm trying to get into a good grad school and then a PhD. |
I was used to think like that when I was in college. My whole concern was to focus on my career's future.
Big mistake , this was an unwise approach.
College is the best place for dating opportunities , you will never be in such place after you graduate and enter the professional life ...especially if you are autistic and don't like to go to crowdy places such as night clubs. I am not saying it's easy to get a date in college , it might be hard as hell but you definitely get more opportunities than when you become in the 'outside' world.
Once you finish your studies and start working . You social life will automatically shrink , the number of single girls around your age range will shrink too , your free time will shrink .....even your energy for such stuff will shrink too.
A colleague , whom I didn't like too much, was always used to tell me: " you have to get a gf during the years of university or it would be too hard for you afterward"
Unfortunately, he was so right.
Last edited by LePetitPrince on Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:25 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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Social_Fantom
Social Maverick
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 4737
Location: Dobson, North Carolina
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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Dude, at least give her a chance. If she has AS it may be difficult for her to have a relationship with someone who doesn't have it. Also, since she does have it, she deserves to be with whoever she wants.
You may find that the two of you were made for each other, you never know.
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Tim_Tex
Now Fluent in Catalan!!!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 13566
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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It sounds like what the OP means is if whether AS women actively seek out AS men, or if they are attracted to the guys before they find out the guys have AS.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!! |
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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 1972
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:21 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Do you think there's something in some AS people that draws them to others even if they don't really know them? Is this possible? |
Personally, I don't think so. It's either coincidence or you made it up.
The probability of meeting a stranger aspie girl by coincidence(and not through some aspie organization/site) that has enough balls to admit that she has something that almost no one heard is too ...tiny. |
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