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| did u like it? |
| ALOT |
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22% |
[ 2 ] |
| yes |
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77% |
[ 7 ] |
| no |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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| Total Votes : 9 |
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| Author |
Message |
Kris94
Toucan
Joined: Jun 01, 2007
Age: 14
Posts: 274
Location: north-east of England
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 Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: a poem written by me: the dark haze |
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This is entirely fictional. its a poem about insanity, loss, love and depression.
THE DARK HAZE
it falls on me like a blanket of torment, crushing my twisted, distorted soul. Gagging on my soul, my essence, it seeps out of me. Madness surrounds me, not knowing whats real. I am alone in this stricken world. I want to escape, but theres no way out. unknowing of the perils that haunt me, the dark thoughts haunting my mind.
Reality and fantisy i cannot divide, insanity following me, haunting me.
Each day is like a dagger through my heart, living without you...
I pine for you, my sweet angel, i cant be sane without you, i cry, blame everyone around me, but deep inside, i know those words hurt you.
i made a mistake, i was blind to whom i desired: you. I was worshiping a false goddess, the one i didn't want
now my soul burns, my heart is broken but it still beats, How could i have caused such hurt?
I have lost my mind over the two cruel words i used: its over |
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Nairin
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Posts: 710
Location: In the shadows of my mind.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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I liked it, but there were some spelling/grammar type errors. No big deal, though.
I voted "Yes". *smile*
_________________
"...The heart's desire is found... in an unexpected place..."
Tailchaser's Song" by Tad Williams |
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SilverProteus
The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Joined: Jul 21, 2007
Posts: 7154
Location: Fleet Street.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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I prefer the shorter verse type poetry, but that's my personal taste. I liked it and voted "yes" as well. 
_________________
"How about a shave?"
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AndersTheAspie
Angelic Knight
Joined: Feb 07, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 1862
Location: On the edge of civilization. Denmark.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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I liked at lot actually. But I don't think a poem about insanity can ever truely be: entirely fictional. Analysing insanity with an open mind will leave a mark on your soul, only by not feeling anything can you protect yourself from insanity, and from your poem, I would say that you do feel.
The story of loss is fictional, the feelings are real. Therefor I like it a lot, lies to tell the truth.
_________________
Once I knew everything, then I got smarter, now the only thing I know is that I know nothing.
Strange how that worked out isn't it? |
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