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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 3728
Location: New Zealand
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 Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: |
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My eye contact is not the best, but better than it was 2 years ago.
I force myself to look at peoples eyes even though it's uncomfortable, as I know now, that's what is expected. Although I do still have people telling me to look at them on occassion, which I dislike!
I have vivid memories of my kindergarden teacher saying to me..."Look at me when i'm talking to you,"....."Look at me when you ask me that,". etc
That's what a lot of my kindergarden memories are. Although I have memories of my mother saying to me..."stop staring, it's rude,"...as well. 
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The hero is no braver than the ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You haven't failed until you quit trying.
- Unknown Author.
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Brandon-J
Toucan
Joined: Mar 12, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 289
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:17 am Post subject: |
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| I think I do all of the above. When I don't feel like talking I tend to not make good eye contact. When I'm interested in what they are saying I make good eye contact. And when they're talking and I am lost and don't know what they are talking about I tend to stare and just nod my head. |
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emmaC
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 90
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:38 am Post subject: |
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| I actually have good eye contact with most people. Not all. But I also stare alot! |
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Odin
Supreme Genius
Joined: Oct 13, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 1878
Location: Moorhead, Minnesota, USA
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 9:43 am Post subject: |
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eye contact for more then a couple seconds is extremely uncomfortable for me. I usually look slightly to the side or at the person's mouth.
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My Blog: http://selzshaven.blogspot.com |
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NewportBeachDude
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 25, 2007
Posts: 355
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: |
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Here's some input from your friendly, neighborhood troll.
My kid used to have no eye contact at all. Zero. Zilch. However, that doesn't mean he wasn't comprehending what people were saying to him. Even with a lack of eye contact teachers were would say that sometimes he was making an effort to follow instructions even though he gave the "appearance" that he was out to lunch. But, there were still problems. His lack of focus we felt was attributed to the lack of eye contact, but we were not 100% sure until we took him on some consultations.
A Pediatric Opthamologist examined him and saw many problems. He thought our kid would need prism glasses, but wanted us to see the Developmental Optometrist first. The Developmental Optometrist said he wanted to do some training on his eyes before the prism glasses, so he put together a program for him, which was subsequently incorporated into his intervention program. We had the ABA Supervisor go with my wife to an appointment and they trained her on the exercises that he was given to do. In a nutshell, the right eye was doing one thing while the left eye was off on an excursion. And, whenever he was asked to look at something straight on, his eyes were just jumping all over the place. Plus, he was relying 90% on his peripheral vision which totally blew us away.
Now, because teachers felt the lack of eye contact was effecting his performance, we brought it to the district's attention at his IEP and they actually wrote it as a goal into his IEP and were open to incorporating the exercises which can easily be done anywhere. My wife went to the school to train his EI teacher which took like 16 minutes. And, his since the Supervisor of his ABA team was involved from the get go, came to an appt., they were really on the ball with helping with the exercises. All of this training wasn't so much forced as it was giving him vision tools to help his eyes work together because they weren't. Other parents of Autistics were telling us it's just the way Autie kids are and that it was Neurological. And, we had read so much in books that said it was because Autie kids can't focus on more than one thing at a time. But, in our case, all of that was wrong. The problem was definately with the eyes and had we not gone the extra to step to found out, he'd still be having the same problems.
Here's what we've noticed. Now that he's had help with this, not only does he have good eye contact, but his school performace has greatly improved. Getting through his homework is so much easier. It used to take us all night to do it, now he does it effeciently and effectively in a reasonable amount of time. Also, he comprehends so much better and you don't have to repeat things to him a million times. Plus, he engages with others so much better. And, he doesn't wonder and daydream so much. We think because his eyes didn't know what to do, they just lead him to look wherever, whenever. So, that's our story. |
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JYossarian
Raven
Joined: Dec 05, 2006
Posts: 110
Location: Pianosa, Italia
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:27 am Post subject: |
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| Pretty poor...but I get a free pass since I'm East Asian and eye contact is widely frowned upon culturally. |
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The_Cucumber
Deinonychus
Joined: May 05, 2007
Posts: 351
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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Well if I have something really important to say I can easily make eye contact. I'm also pretty good at making eye contact with most of my friends.
However I tend to look down and away during one-sided conversations when I'm not the one talking.
So bottom line is that my eye contact is decent, especially considering I have AS. |
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Chibi_Neko
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 768
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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50/50 with me, If I am talking to someone on a topic that I am interested in, I am good.
Howver If someone is talking to me about something I have no interest in, my eye contact is pretty bad.
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Humans are intelligent, but that doesn't make them smart. |
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Elovic
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 12, 2007
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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| NewportBeachDude wrote: | Here's some input from your friendly, neighborhood troll.
My kid used to have no eye contact at all. Zero. Zilch. However, that doesn't mean he wasn't comprehending what people were saying to him. Even with a lack of eye contact teachers were would say that sometimes he was making an effort to follow instructions even though he gave the "appearance" that he was out to lunch. But, there were still problems. His lack of focus we felt was attributed to the lack of eye contact, but we were not 100% sure until we took him on some consultations.
A Pediatric Opthamologist examined him and saw many problems. He thought our kid would need prism glasses, but wanted us to see the Developmental Optometrist first. The Developmental Optometrist said he wanted to do some training on his eyes before the prism glasses, so he put together a program for him, which was subsequently incorporated into his intervention program. We had the ABA Supervisor go with my wife to an appointment and they trained her on the exercises that he was given to do. In a nutshell, the right eye was doing one thing while the left eye was off on an excursion. And, whenever he was asked to look at something straight on, his eyes were just jumping all over the place. Plus, he was relying 90% on his peripheral vision which totally blew us away.
Now, because teachers felt the lack of eye contact was effecting his performance, we brought it to the district's attention at his IEP and they actually wrote it as a goal into his IEP and were open to incorporating the exercises which can easily be done anywhere. My wife went to the school to train his EI teacher which took like 16 minutes. And, his since the Supervisor of his ABA team was involved from the get go, came to an appt., they were really on the ball with helping with the exercises. All of this training wasn't so much forced as it was giving him vision tools to help his eyes work together because they weren't. Other parents of Autistics were telling us it's just the way Autie kids are and that it was Neurological. And, we had read so much in books that said it was because Autie kids can't focus on more than one thing at a time. But, in our case, all of that was wrong. The problem was definately with the eyes and had we not gone the extra to step to found out, he'd still be having the same problems.
Here's what we've noticed. Now that he's had help with this, not only does he have good eye contact, but his school performace has greatly improved. Getting through his homework is so much easier. It used to take us all night to do it, now he does it effeciently and effectively in a reasonable amount of time. Also, he comprehends so much better and you don't have to repeat things to him a million times. Plus, he engages with others so much better. And, he doesn't wonder and daydream so much. We think because his eyes didn't know what to do, they just lead him to look wherever, whenever. So, that's our story. |
Wow, I wish I had had doctors like that when I was little.
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I will participate in purple shadows afterwards. |
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Bopkasen
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 06, 2006
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Sora wrote: | I had no eye-contact whatsoever until I was diagnosed and read up on how there exists eye-contact. Why it's important and so on.
I tried and tried and now I have some eye-contact. At first I couldn't keep track of my own thoughts or continue speaking when trying eye-contact. I had to find a good strategy, find out what causes me trouble. I now look - but don't see. Or see but don't look? Something like that. Nobody notices.
By now I think it's quite good, for having no eye-contact before. Maybe slightly below-average? Everyone's reacting to it already, people are way more friendly. Actually listen to what I say. The reaction of others has changed immensely. Now I often find that I forget to look someone in the eyes. It still happens frequently that I go without eye-contact entirely because I can't remember to do it!
Still, eyes are very ugly. It's a nightmare to look into them. Most are ugly to me that is. I know... one person with the most amazing eyes and some more with tolerable, but not beautiful eyes. The majority of people, friendly and nice or rude and bullying just have ugly eyes. When I look into them, I finally identified that I feel absolutely disgusted. I can't choose whose eyes I find tolerable. |
I like your other avatar better than what you chance. I guess my aspies kick in when someone change something. lol |
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 4918
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:46 pm Post subject: |
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ive been told the best times i have eye contact with people is when i'm having an argument with them and am really mad at them.
generally, i think teaching has helped me at least bounce around with my eyes and at least look at them enough for them to know im paying attention... though i'm sure at times they still think i dont care.
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Never has there been more to say; less to do, before you turned away. ~Hot Chip |
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craola
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 21, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 332
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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When I was a tiny baby apparently I stared, when I grew up though I didn't have very good eye contact but then when I was about 7 I realised that the reason I didn't get into the choir and I didn't get help at school was because other children looked at the teachers faces so I started looking at their noses and eventually between their eyes at the bridge of their nose, but I didn't know what the point of it was so I only did it when I remembered, wanted something, was meant to be listening etc and when I did I stared and it was really uncomfortable and when people moved their heads to look in my eyes I looked away.
Then about four years ago I was seeing this homeopathic doctor and he made the comment that my eye contact was un-natural so I stopped pretty much altogether which was easy as I always hated it anyway.
In conclusion I switch between staring and not looking at all. |
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Sarcastic_Name
Don't look.
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 3576
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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I look slightly to the left or right of the persons face, and sometimes briefly in the eyes. I always use peripheral vision to keep at least one eye trained on the other persons though, to help me follow conversation better. I think this gives people the impression I have low self confidence, which isn't always true.
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(Currently undergoing personality reboot) |
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poopylungstuffing
Bohemian Cave dweller
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 32
Posts: 3350
Location: not otherwise specified
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Featherways
Raven
Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 115
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Bad. I can manage it, but it's stressful, and when I'm tired I try not to make eye contact at all. I've no idea what the right amount is, despite a few decades of trying. |
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