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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1468
Location: North West United States
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 Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:45 am Post subject: the stigma of depression |
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Does it ever bother you that society seems to judge people for feeling depressed or unmotivated? So many people assume that if you don’t have a horrible life you have no right to feel unhappy or complain about anything.
They seem to think that if they could jump into a depressed person’s shoes they would somehow manage to not be depressed. Never mind that it’s impossible to be in someone else’s shoes without literally being the same person. The biological makeup of the brain determines the person. It’s all just an excuse to be judgmental.
What also bugs me is the “toughen up” or “deal with it” advice. Seriously WTF? These people are usually complete idiots. I don’t go through my life trying to overcome adversity just so I can prove myself to be “tough”. I just don’t find that to be a particularly fulfilling outlook on life.
Why are “toughness” and “self reliance” considered such great virtues? For me these ideals don’t have the intended effect of providing fulfillment. I think it’s because I rather like the thought of my own insignificance. I really feel content when I completely lose myself in my surroundings, such as when hiking alone in the mountains. I feel happiest when I feel small and fragile compared to my surroundings. Living up to the expectations of modern society doesn’t give me any comparable sense of fulfillment.
This was just a bit of a stream of consciousness rant. I’m not sure if it’s really coherent. I could keep going but I don’t know what to say next so I’ll stop here.
Last edited by marshall on Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:09 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Ana54
International Incident Initiator
Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 6498
Location: Channelview, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:00 pm Post subject: |
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| It bothers me a lot. The next time someone ignorant comes along and gives you a hard time, even if it's with one comment, say "I'll toughen up and deal with it all right... like this!" and haul off and punch him in the nose as hard as you can! |
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OMGpenguin
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 19, 2007
Posts: 193
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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I haven't posted on the site in a while, but on a tangent, it's nice to see you're still here Ana; I enjoy your constructive, positive commentaries.
But yeah, people don't say anything to me, but I'm pretty sure they are making judgments and assumptions in their minds.
However, I notice the worse I feel, be it depression, stress, or whatever, that I work tons better. This has been the case across multiple careers, school, etc. It's kind of sadistically poetic. |
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richardbenson
my queen!
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 8691
Location: plastic makes it possible
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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the main factor in all of those problems is: people base thier experiance on how they deal with things in life and project the same method on how others should be dealing with life by how they function. usually people who do this are some of the biggest hipocrites ever
take for example the way ticker treated me for being on disability. and she acted like she was this lone aspie doing it all without anyones help. when now she gets all these freebees from the state 
the best way to handle these people is to ignore them (wich is alot easier said than done, people who chastise others about how they should be living thier life really freaking bother me.) ive delt with stupid uppity cunts like this my whole life though and i am getting used to ignoring them. all you have to remember is this: there not worth your time or your mental healths
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1468
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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Oh no, only three responses. Maybe my post was even more incoherent and whiny than I thought. 
Ana54: Honestly, I have fantasized about socking people. Thankfully I don’t think I’d ever actually do it. |
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DeGenisis
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 25, 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I have been really depressed before and sometimes you just need a slap in the face to get out their and do something about it. Depression and self-pity often go together. |
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Ana54
International Incident Initiator
Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 6498
Location: Channelview, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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Aw; you think we're whiny and incoherent? 
Maybe I'm retarded, but I don't see the shame in socking someone who needs it over the shame of bullying a depressed person to try and make them LESS depressed. |
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DeanFoley
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 07, 2007
Posts: 229
Location: England-Birmingham
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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Eugh, I hate that too.
Now, I know thosepoor Africans and all have horrible lives, but just because I'm better off than some people doesn't mean I can't be unhappy.
''The power is cut off, I'm bored and sitting around in the dark with nothing to do.''
''Think of the people who are worse off than you. You're so lucky, you have such a great life!''
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Ana54
International Incident Initiator
Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 6498
Location: Channelview, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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| It helps for some people, but for someone who has other issues you can't solve by just telling them about the poor Africans... they need to be acknowledged, not ignored which trivializes their problems. People who feel awful because they're bored in a powerless house with nothing to do have a problem, like ADD or depression. They lack something too that they need. It isn't any more their fault than it is the Africans' because they don't have food. |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1468
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| DeGenisis wrote: | | I have been really depressed before and sometimes you just need a slap in the face to get out their and do something about it. Depression and self-pity often go together. |
To each their own I guess. I just find that the slap in the face method only serves to irritate me. I find it condescending. It in no way makes me feel more motivated. Actually it makes me feel less motivated. Blaming the depressed person for being depressed only serves to make them more depressed.
I mean I could take a happy person and secretly slip a pleasure inhibiting drug into their water supply. The person would likely become depressed and come up with all kinds of reasons why their life was horrible. They would probably think they were having some kind of existential crisis and everything had lost meaning. But in fact there is something physically wrong with the person’s brain activity causing them to feel depressed. Would it be fair to blame this person for lacking the motivation to hold down a job? |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1468
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Ana54 wrote: | | Aw; you think we're whiny and incoherent? |
I don't know. It's all subjective. What sounds whiny to some is just being open and honest to others.
| Quote: | | Maybe I'm retarded, but I don't see the shame in socking someone who needs it over the shame of bullying a depressed person to try and make them LESS depressed. |
Well for one I'm too big to be going around smacking people. I could hurt someone and get sued or arrested. I would rather not give myself a criminal record.
Besides, sometimes people who act like assholes don't know any better. They think they're doing the right thing. |
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Ana54
International Incident Initiator
Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 6498
Location: Channelview, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Wash your hands and under the nails and say you didn't do it. 
The slap in the face does not work for me. Shaming me out of being ashamed doesn't work on me, embarrassing me out of being embarrassed doesn't work on me, depressing me out of being depressed doesn't work on me, slapping and yelling me out of my anger doesn't work on me. It usually just makes me worse. But that's just me. |
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