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RJMC
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 07, 2005
Posts: 2
Location: venezuela
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 Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:24 pm Post subject: how to talk? |
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| my problem is that I dont know what or when to talk,when I am whit friends I am allways in silence and when I want say something I just feel I cant |
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Cassidys
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 02, 2005
Posts: 35
Location: Huntington Beach
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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| read the news, catch up on your favorite team, you gotta find simple iterest, that you can learn more about, then you can go talking about those. What do you enjoy doing? What do your friends enjoy doing? I have the same problem, I dont look at it as a problem, I kinda enjoy being silent sometimes, ecpecially when I have nothing to say, I dont wanna force myself to talk. Believe me, there are millions of things you can talk about, you just gotta figure out what you enjoy and read up about it more. |
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sandra3
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 320
Location: california
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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| i get lost for words all the time. |
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Musical_Lottie
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 15, 2005
Posts: 656
Location: Bedfordshire, East of England
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:39 pm Post subject: |
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I tend to find that if I want to say something then I'll be too scared to, especially if it would break silence 
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Spectrumite ... somewhere. |
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toddjh
Toucan
Joined: Nov 09, 2005
Posts: 277
Location: Champaign, IL, USA
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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I'm finding that this is getting a little easier as I get older (I'm almost 30!  )
There have been tons of times when I wanted to say something but didn't, and then someone else said the exact same thing a little bit later. A few years of seeing that happen helps quite a bit. It's reassuring to know that your thoughts aren't always so weird after all. 
Jeremy |
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HarryofSheringham
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 26, 2005
Posts: 72
Location: Norfolk, England
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah i often find all these things i want to say out loud but for whatever reason i cant. For example the other day, I was alone with this girl(not a date) but i couldnt tell her she looked really beautiful even though she did. I kept thinking of all these ways to slip in a compliment but never actually said one of them. Instead we just had a lot of awkward silences |
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Mark
Sea Gull
Joined: Jul 26, 2005
Posts: 202
Location: www.onthespectrum.com
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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I used to be terrible at spontaneously digging out quotes and phrases from films. Rather than figuring out what to say, I'd blurt out a (quasi-relevant) quote, even imitating the way it was delivered. This was kind of an automatic reation, rather than anything deliberate.
Works quite well, but can be a bit embarrassing if you have an odd taste in films (like I do)
I find now that if I know the other person well, there isn't much of a problem. But if I don't, I have to script. For example, if I go for coffee I will not only mentally rehearse how to get the coffee shop, but also what I'm going order and how I'm going to ask for it. If there are two of us and it is my turn to buy, I'll simplify what is being bought to avoid possible confusion at the counter (sometimes to the annoyance of the other person )
If I'm meeting a person I don't know, I always try to have someone else with me that I do know. Then they can maintain the conversation while I'm thinking. This isn't too bad, as most of my meetings with unknown people are about technology, which I can babble on about at high speed and without difficulty regardless of anything. It's mainly about dealing with conversation topics I'm not so familiar with, such as social small-talk.
The most frustrating thing is wanting to say something but failing because the conversation moves on before I have a chance (either I can't figure out how to say it or because I can't break in between other people talking).
I think most people, AS or NT do all of these things to some extent. |
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Nomaken
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Posts: 2059
Location: 31726 Windsor, Garden City, Michigan, 48135
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:02 am Post subject: |
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You can either find a group of friends which accepts your system for communicating ideas(which i'd recommend) or you can learn a thousand small, tedious, redundant comments which comprise NT's "small talk" alien ability.
_________________
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
My body is a channel that translates energy from the universe into happiness.
I either express information, or consume it. I am debating which to do right now.
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iamlucille
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 12, 2004
Posts: 648
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:04 am Post subject: |
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If you're really desperate, you can take classes. Join support groups or something.
But otherwise, just do what you like that relates to other people. I can always obsess over Billie Joe Armstrong with my friends.
Then again, I'm a teenage girl. |
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06xrs
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 04, 2005
Posts: 361
Location: Alabama
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I tend to be one extreme or the other. If I'm with a group of strangers I'll just kind of keep to myself. Once I get to know them, I tend to talk too much. |
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salomedesade
Butterfly
Joined: Nov 14, 2005
Posts: 15
Location: Takoma Park, MD
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 4:32 pm Post subject: similar problem-when to talk |
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| My problem, I've found recently at my job, is that I don't know how to stop a conversation when I don't want to talk anymore. The conversations I have usually just fade out because I stop making an effort. Is there a nice way to let people know you would rather not talk at a certain time, without making them think you don't want to talk to them at all? |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 20855
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates, somewhere in Canada :O)
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 11:13 pm Post subject: |
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| I read News stories on the Internet and than I talk about the stories that pop into the mind, the next day. |
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Sarcastic_Name
Don't look.
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 3582
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:48 am Post subject: |
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It just happens. Go out and expereince things, and share those things with people that also enjoy those things. Change things to whatever it is you do outside in the real world that interests you. This is my first time trying to word what I'm slowly understanding how to do.
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(Currently undergoing personality reboot) |
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