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angelgirl1224
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 433
Location: england
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 Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 4:53 pm Post subject: ii think i still love my ex-boyfriend |
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Ok this is gona sound a bit weird but i think i still love him.
We went out 3 years ago for half a year. He was my first boyfriend. There were lots of ups as well as downs. I have a lot of regrets. It ended because of a lot of misunderstandings. We were young and things started going wrong for us. He always got paranoid over me ,even thinking i cheated on him when i went on holiday to france which wasnt true. He ended up flurting with another girl which i misunderstood as cheating. The girl thought he was serious about her when he wasnt, i realize that now. He left her for me but then a couple of weeks later said he was sorry and he wanted me back. I took him back, but then one of so called mates totally sh** shirred everything up by saying that she dumped him and thats why he asked you back. Ive only just found out it wasn't the case.
Anyway we had a lot of happy memories together as well. I remember being the happiest i ever was in ages for a while.
It has been 2 and a half years, and on and off i stayed in touch with him. I met up with him yesterday(friday) as mates, and hadn't seen him since we had broken up. It was nice and we got on really well, talking about music and school, but it also brought a lot of emotions back as well.
He has had loads of girlfriends since me, including going out with one of my friends. , I've only had two proper boyfriends since him. Both of these only lasted a few months. But, the thing is i haven't loved anyone or felt close to anyone apart from him. It feels like hes the only one who actually understood me or attempted too.
He has told me he still loves me. But i have told him i see him as a friend and it would be nice to meet up on a regular basis. i don't think this is true though. I miss him all the time these days and there is a sense of 'longing ' for him. I know this is going to sound really weird, but i need help here. I don't know what to do, and i don't know what i feel. Obviosly i dont want anything to possibly reck the friendship we now have together.
Help is appreciated.
xx |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 50
Posts: 2743
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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well, if you're mates, maybe you can talk about it. Take it easy, don't just rush in, but maybe give him a clue that you're interested, at least. See how he takes it. Over time, things may develop, things may not, but there's only one way to find out.
good luck. I was on the other side of this; I dated a girl when I was in 7th grade, but she broke it off because I was a horn dog, and 2 years later tried again. I blew that too, because I was still a horn dog.. So you trust, but verify. |
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AndersTheAspie
Angelic Knight
Joined: Feb 07, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 1862
Location: On the edge of civilization. Denmark.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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Why do you think it is weird? Emotions don't just disapear, especially not love.
Now obviously I can't tell you what to do, but I can share one of my observations with you: Being "just friends" with someone you are in love with doesn't work. Now I am speaking without any personal experience here, so take it with a grain of salt, these are merely things I have observed in others: When people are in love, but do not act on it for one reason or another, a lot of tension is build up. Everything is overthought. This tension undermines the entire relationship, and you end up either going crazy, avoiding him or confessing everything.
If he still loves you, and you still love him, and you get on "really well"... then what is holding you back? You might wanna consider why you are so confused about this.
Hope I have been of a little help, and that I haven't confused you further.
_________________
Once I knew everything, then I got smarter, now the only thing I know is that I know nothing.
Strange how that worked out isn't it? |
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angelgirl1224
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 433
Location: england
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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hey guys,
Thankyou. I guess i find it weird because i dont think i ever got over him completely. and well arent you supposed to,,expecilly as so much time has gone by. I guess a lot of stuff is holding me back. I'm scared.
I'm also scared of letting him know,,because welll, im not exactly good at this 
i'm still not totlly sure of what to do, gues i need to sleep on it.
thanks for your help
xx |
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JohnHopkins
In no way offensive to anybody. Honest.
Joined: Nov 20, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1920
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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| According to your profile, you're 16, meaning that relationship was when you were 13. Even now, any boyfriend you have may well be abbreviated - especially at your age, relationships come thick and fast and emotions run high and you may never get over people, crushes and love may stay with you for years. It's not weird for you to still have feelings for him. However, in all honesty, I would advise against acting on them because from the sound of it that relationship wasn't so much a series of ups and downs as a series of downs. |
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0_equals_true
Quack!
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 4718
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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| JohnHopkins you have 666 posts! |
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angelgirl1224
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 433
Location: england
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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yeah the relashionship happened when i was 13. i was in Year 8 - year 9 and im in year 11 now. i didnt think love/crushes were meant to stay with you for years. Well it was mainly ups at first. But then as the relashionship proceeded it started turning to downs and we argued all the time.
thanks
xx |
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lotusblossom
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 364
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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dont make the mistake of thinking that because you love and long for him that its "meant to be" or "he is mr right" as you will get that feeling again with other guys.
Its tempting to get back with him, but if I was you I wouldnt as I think he is a bit of a jerk and will probably mess you about.
Its probably worth waiting for a new guy as the history between you will probably keep coming up again and again and hurt your feelings.
Ive loved lots of people and met the one lots of time so at least we know there are plenty of Mr Rights (its all chemistry anyway) Good luck what ever you decide  |
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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first of all, if you were in a relationship, he SHOULDN'T have been flirting with another girl period! Second of all, he seems to be very controlling, and it could have been an extremely abusive relationship if you had let it progress. You deserve much better then this guy! Please don't go back with him!
Remember how you felt during those bad times in your relationship. More likely then not, he'll make you feel like that again. If something big like therapy or another life-altering event hasn't happened, he will go back to his old behaviours after the "honeymoon" period is over.
_________________
"You can do the math a thousand way, but you can't undo the past"
From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead' |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7551
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:02 pm Post subject: Re: ii think i still love my ex-boyfriend |
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| angelgirl1224 wrote: | Ok this is gona sound a bit weird but i think i still love him.
xx |
why shouldn't you still love him?
I mean, do you turn love on and off like a light switch? It makes no difference what his actions were or how you felt about those actions. Trust is built up over a long time and sometimes people do stuff that is a deal breaker. But you still love them no matter how much you don't want to.
Love is a good thing, unless you mean you aren't over him in a romantic way, in which case it it the absolute pits and my heart goes out to you.
Merle
Last edited by sinsboldly on Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:07 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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angelgirl1224
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 433
Location: england
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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he says he has changed. And he attmits he shouldnt have flurted with another girl,,, but i thought it was more than it was. He wasnt controlling or abusive. Welll,,he was a bit controlling i suppose but that was then.
I don't think i am planning to go back out with him, but i dunno. i suppose its hard when none of you guys have met him, you only know from what ive told you.
the thing is he has been there for me through a lot of hard times ive been through, when i was getting bullied he was there for me and listened to me. i told him things i never told everyone else. he told me things he never told everyone else. it wasnt all bad.
xx |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7551
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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| angelgirl1224 wrote: | he says he has changed. And he attmits he shouldnt have flurted with another girl,,, but i thought it was more than it was. He wasnt controlling or abusive. Welll,,he was a bit controlling i suppose but that was then.
I don't think i am planning to go back out with him, but i dunno. i suppose its hard when none of you guys have met him, you only know from what ive told you.
the thing is he has been there for me through a lot of hard times ive been through, when i was getting bullied he was there for me and listened to me. i told him things i never told everyone else. he told me things he never told everyone else. it wasnt all bad.
xx |
only you can make the choice. If he likes to flirt and it is something you can put up with, ok.
there are no 'rules' other than the ones you both make.
Merle |
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angelgirl1224
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 433
Location: england
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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He doesn't like to flurt exactly. He isn't a player if thats what you're trying to get at.
xx |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7551
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| angelgirl1224 wrote: | He doesn't like to flurt exactly. He isn't a player if thats what you're trying to get at.
xx |
I don't understand social games, angelgirl1224, so I am not being subtle. I used the word flirt because you used the word. I wasn't trying to imply anything.
My point is, there are no rules in love. You do what your heart can take and if it can't take it, you have a choice to put up with it, or move on.
that's all.
Merle
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Alpo is up to $4.00 USD a can and that is $12.00 USD in dog dollars! |
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angelgirl1224
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 433
Location: england
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:23 am Post subject: |
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Yes because that was what he did. But, he doesn't constantly flurt with other people when hes going out with someone.
xx |
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