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Deathklaat
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 04, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 321
Location: Birmingham, AL
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 Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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I agree, there should be a men's forum.
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"If at first you don't succeed...cheat." -Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Death out. |
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Jainaday
in uncertain taste
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1344
Location: in the They
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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| ClosetAspy wrote: | For those of you women who have endured ongoing harassment because you have large breasts:
Have you considered a breast reduction? I was a double D and for years I endured just what you describe and worse. It was only until a physical therapist suggested breast reduction that I was able to do something about it. My surgeon said that if he couldn't get insurance approval because of physical reasons (shoulder problems), he would send me to a psychologist. He said "I know they will cover it for that, but I don't think it will be necessary." It wasn't. I had the surgery, and while he didn't take as much off as I would have liked, it is not as prominent as before and the sexual harassment has definitely dwindled. It's sad that some of us have to resort to surgery to stop that kind of attention but hey, if it works. (I totally understand why some Muslim women cover themselves from head to foot!) Anyway I feel much, much better since I had the reduction. |
I appreciate it as a practical solution, but I feel strongly that we shouldn't have to hack apart our bodies to be treated with basic human respect in public places.
For some fantastic commentary on this subject, watch the film Dreamworlds (there are three editions, all good and slightly different from one another, progressing as culture has changed with time) if you can get a hold of it.
http://www.mediaed.org/about (read the history at the bottom of the page)
and
http://www.mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderAndDiversity/Dreamworlds3
Purchase is difficult and bootlegs are rare. . |
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Jainaday
in uncertain taste
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1344
Location: in the They
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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Also;
If the problem with the men's forum before was excessive obscenity, perhaps it could be re-established with very clear ground rules laid out?
The reason there are women's only gyms and women's only dorms is that almost all men like mixed gender environments for those things, and a significant number of women don't. What I often see when men post wanting a men's forum is not so much that they feel they need a private place to air male issues, but that they're hurt at being left out. . . they don't seek the thing its self, but rather to avoid a negation.
I'm still in favor of the idea of a men's forum run by the same rules as the women's forum, as long as the unacceptable content rules are actually enforced (in both places)-
This is the official definition of what's unacceptable on Wrongplanet, from the rules:
Unacceptable content includes swearing; racist, sexist, homophobic language; behavior intended to provoke or belittle other members; violent or sexually demeaning content; and discussion of excretory function. Posting graphic images or videos of people or animals being harmed is prohibited.
I understand and appreciate the level of enforcement that has been chosen for this forum, but because it amounts to only responding to direct attacks when those attacks are reported, some seek protection from these things in other ways.
I think language intended to belittle- to make little of someone's abilities in argument, or of them as a human being for believing the things they believe- are common here. . . and I'm fine with that. However, I think that if a group is genuinely seeking greater shelter from these things in a limited context, there should be a place for that. |
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Apuleyo
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 28, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 194
Location: Argentina
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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Right now I don't have the time to read and analyze all the comments in this topic so my apologies if I am repeating something already said.
Now, for my comment:
This is wrong. This is the women's discussion forum, agreed, but if males can't have an opinion in a matter that is related to them because some woman doesn't want them there, that is unfair.
What if that woman was wrong? What if just for the sake of blaming something to someone, the rest of the women agree? Isn't that bias?
Specially here. An auties/aspies forum. A place were supposedly, males are if not smarter at least less dumb. A place were macho attitudes shouldn't exist as they are not logical.
SOME, and only SOME, extreme feminist views are not logical either. But because they are RELATED to a movement that IS LOGIC, a movement that is clearing the way for women to be treated with the respect and equality they deserve as human beings.
So... if the macho attitude is wrong, why the feminist attitude is right?
No feminist, no machismo. Humanism.
I am a humanist. And the fact that I have balls hanging outside and not inside doesn't make me any less of a person that views people equally.
I admit, a lot of men can be jerks, even autistic ones. But if you ban all men from posting somewhere just because one person doesn't want there, you will also ban men that can make significant contributions to the topic discussed.
I believe that the men here are smart enough to don't bash women's opinions just because they want to defend themselves. I believe that these men can actually make a valid point.
A good point is one thousand times better than a bash.
If you don't allow all sides to voice their concerns there will be a possibility for the wrong ideas/points/opinions to grow an expand and cause more prejudice. Because men can be victims of prejudice too. I have been.
In my life I was looked down for many reasons. For being a jew, for being latino, for being a white latino, for being "weird", for being a man, for a lot of reasons. Most men here have been victims of prejudice, probably most of them just for being aspies, but that fact makes them more aware of the prejudice against women.
So please, give us a chance. You want equality. Then be an example of it.
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 1981
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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| i've yet to see a male who can relate his experience of how his insides feel during menstration and how that affects his aspie traits |
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Jainaday
in uncertain taste
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1344
Location: in the They
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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I wish you would take the time to make a little more sense.
| Apuleyo wrote: | Right now I don't have the time to read and analyze all the comments in this topic so my apologies if I am repeating something already said.
Now, for my comment:
This is wrong. This is the women's discussion forum, agreed, but if males can't have an opinion in a matter that is related to them because some woman doesn't want them there, that is unfair. |
Males can have an opinion; they can even express it. Just not on the specific threads where they are asked not to. There are plenty of other places where they could say, "hey, I was reading about this somewhere else and I want to talk about it."--and that's great.
Sometimes it's just important to respect what is and isn't a good time and place for specific opinions.
| Quote: |
What if that woman was wrong? What if just for the sake of blaming something to someone, the rest of the women agree? Isn't that bias?
Specially here. An auties/aspies forum. A place were supposedly, males are if not smarter at least less dumb. A place were macho attitudes shouldn't exist as they are not logical. |
As far as I understood, everyone is allowed to be wrong or illogical on wrongplanet. It isn't against the rules.
There are just a few limitations on how, and where. |
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Apuleyo
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 28, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 194
Location: Argentina
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Triangular_Trees wrote: | | i've yet to see a male who can relate his experience of how his insides feel during menstration and how that affects his aspie traits |
Good point. Most men would not dare to post there even if they were allowed. That's a good point for me.
Jainaday: That's right, but if someone is being illogical and that illogical statement hurts someone's feelings, shouldn't that person be allowed to express/defend him/herself and/or ask for an apology?
Many times I was wrong about something and had to apology after someone pointed that I was wrong. What if that someone was not allowed to do so. Then I would still be wrong and I would have learned nothing.
Making mistakes doesn't make people learn and grow. Experience makes people learn and grow. Experience is gained by making a mistake and realizing about it!
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Jainaday
in uncertain taste
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1344
Location: in the They
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Apuleyo wrote: |
Jainaday: That's right, but if someone is being illogical and that illogical statement hurts someone's feelings, shouldn't that person be allowed to express/defend him/herself and/or ask for an apology?
Many times I was wrong about something and had to apology after someone pointed that I was wrong. What if that someone was not allowed to do so. Then I would still be wrong and I would have learned nothing.
Making mistakes doesn't make people learn and grow. Experience makes people learn and grow. Experience is gained by making a mistake and realizing about it! |
I believe that hurting someone's feelings with a logical statement is also usually a bad idea.
Sometimes, like in the haven, and like here, there's a good reason to decrease potential antagonism, or potential antagonism of specific kinds. This is true even though we do learn from conflict. No one is asking you to read something that might hurt your feelings without a clear advance understanding that it may not be appropriate to respond; that's why it should be noted in the subject line. |
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Apuleyo
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 28, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 194
Location: Argentina
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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I should clarify my position: If someone antagonizes another one, that another one deserves a chance to clear the reputation... Otherwise... it feels unfair 
It's true, no one asks nobody to read something that may be offending, but I am talking about offending out of spite. If there is an intention to be negative about someone or a group, then that is unfair!
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Jainaday
in uncertain taste
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1344
Location: in the They
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Apuleyo wrote: | I should clarify my position: If someone antagonizes another one, that another one deserves a chance to clear the reputation... Otherwise... it feels unfair
It's true, no one asks nobody to read something that may be offending, but I am talking about offending out of spite. If there is an intention to be negative about someone or a group, then that is unfair! |
I guess that would have to go back to the forum's definition of unacceptable content? |
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Apuleyo
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 28, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 194
Location: Argentina
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject: |
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Is it just me or this ended up being a redundancy? I wish I did drink my coffee, my braincells aren't working well apparently. Good thing yours do. 
I'm sorry for wasting your time in that case...     
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Jainaday
in uncertain taste
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1344
Location: in the They
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Apuleyo wrote: | Is it just me or this ended up being a redundancy? I wish I did drink my coffee, my braincells aren't working well apparently. Good thing yours do.
I'm sorry for wasting your time in that case... |
I don't think you were wasting my time.
Lso, Kudos for the emotes.  |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 11:25 pm Post subject: Re: Where Males stand in this forum |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | If a woman posts a thread and states she does not want a males opinion on the matter, males posts will be deleted.
By all means males can post in here, but please respect what the thread title asks. If you are a lady and you don't want males butting in, please state in the topic name that it is for females.
To be honest a lot of the male replies in here have been total rubbish, and see no reason for anyone to find a problem with this rule. |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11389
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:05 pm Post subject: |
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Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire the Cat
6thSin:Envy |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:11 pm Post subject: |
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^Meow?  |
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