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cyberscan
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 134
Location: Near Panama, City Florida
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 Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:19 pm Post subject: Thanks Shale. |
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| I'm learning the clothes language. However, I wish I had more information on all of this body language stuff. As a NT where could you point me for the information? Thanks. |
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PLA
Phoenix
Joined: May 11, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 567
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:58 am Post subject: |
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| daveybaby wrote: | | Maybe this has been mentioned before on this forum, but what's the deal with the long coats? (could be trenchcoat, robe coat, not always black) The kids I hung around with in college 2 years ago all wore them (sci-fi club) and I would certainly not consider many of them "goths" but instead as aspie kids (anime club, comic book dorks). I bought one and wore it during the winter (to fit in with said kids even though I didn't particularly understand the trend). |
Long coats are great. They feel like armor, without being extremely heavy.
_________________
Everyone loves the dolphin. A bitter shark - emerging from it's cold depths - doesn't stand a chance.
"Run, Jump, Fall, Limp off, Try Harder." -Shamay
Navigare necesse est, vivere non est necesse. |
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amaren
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 215
Location: wallowing in bed
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:02 am Post subject: |
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I have recently picked up a minimal clothes-sense - I'm scared of people who look like they've put a lot of effort into their outfit. The older, messier and weirder a person's clothes are, the more comfortable I am around them. So for all those who who worry about knowing how to dress up, I think you shouldn't - it's easier for me to recognise you as a non-scary person if you're not trying to dress like a scary person!
But all that goes out the window when I see things in rainbow order. Everyone should wear rainbow colours  *obsess* |
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PLA
Phoenix
Joined: May 11, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 567
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:08 am Post subject: |
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I like to use baggy pants (not the kind that could fall down) with as much pocket space as possible. But I never carry a mobile phone in my pockets. I have a case attached to my belt for that.
For my upper body, I prefer long sleeves and long necks. With a zipper on the neck. I like zippers. Preferably something that looks like it could keep the world away from me.
But I sometimes use a short-sleeved shirt, if I can wear something long-sleeved under it.
Durable, high-quality workboots with shafts.
Anything that can keep the scary world away. 
_________________
Everyone loves the dolphin. A bitter shark - emerging from it's cold depths - doesn't stand a chance.
"Run, Jump, Fall, Limp off, Try Harder." -Shamay
Navigare necesse est, vivere non est necesse. |
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Tohlagos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Age: 37
Posts: 932
Location: Boise, ID
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Ah the fashion "game."
Back in college, I did an experiment. I wore a suit w/tie to class one day. I had on a ring, nicely shined shoes, a briefcase, leather gloves, and very nice trench coat. The reaction I got was... interesting. I had people getting out of my way as I walked down the hallway. I had the door opened for me. The few people I talked to did not interrupt me. Then there was the compliments! I was being eyed a lot too.
It was strange and felt unreal to me. Fake.
The VERY NEXT DAY, I wore an old t-shirt (had a few small holes in it), sneakers with white socks, old jeans, and had my backpack that had a rip in it. People cut me off in the halls, ignored me, even avoided me.
By the end of that day, I had decided that our species was superficial and gullible.
Over 10 years later, I still have nice clothes: ties, dress pants, dress shoes, etc. But I only wear them when I fell there is need - a logical need such as a wedding/funeral/etc.
Dressing up to just impress people on a given day means I am trying to impress them with the wrong qualities... and perhaps trying to impress the wrong kind of people.
To each his own, but I wouldn't want someone to like me because of the clothes I wear. |
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ManErg
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 05, 2006
Posts: 436
Location: Searching for diamonds in a sulphur mine
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 11:46 am Post subject: |
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Shale,
On an intellectual level I know that what you are saying is all true. Just about everything you've written I knew already, but I'm so fashion blind, I still can't understand the fashion language. It's hard to explain the bottomless depth of my fashion blindness. When you say things like "wear item such-and-and such that looks good on you, or flatters you", I always knew this to be good advice, but I'm stuck as I have absolutely no idea what something looks like on me!
For example, my wife and I recently went to see a band. I wore my best jeans, trainers and a check shirt (not tucked in, of course - or was that last years thing???) all clean, tidy and ironed. After a few minutes, I noticed a lot of the men around us had (to my AS-shattered sense of dress) more or less identical clothes to me. This raised my morale and I commented to my wife: "Hey, for once I feel like I'm in the right place. Look, I'm dressed like everyone else". She replied "What do you mean, they're all wearing nice looking designer label gear, you're wearing no-name jeans and scruffy shirt".
Fighting the urge to run out of the building and hide myself away for the rest of my life, I protested: "But look, that man's jeans are scruffier than mine, they're all faded and torn". She replies "No way! They're Nobster label and VERY VERY cool and expensive. And look over there - he's wearing a Boshy Toshy shirt, way trendy, looks soooooooo good. And he's even got Fishface socks, too (pointing at a 3 millimetre square logo that I can barely see), you don't get *them* in Walmart." (I made up the label names as I can't remember any real ones, but they usually sound irritatingly daft and I think you get the idea)
Anyway, I felt the familiar sense of shattered self-esteem. At this point I realised that I would have more chance of understanding Ancient Aramaic than the language of fashion. All these people devoting so much time to every thread of their clothes and I had been blissfully unaware of any of it. I had a true "I must have been born on the Wrong Planet" moment. Sometimes as an Aspie you make huge efforts and you think you're getting somewhere. Then you realise you've been deluding yourself all along and you're still at the bottom of a cliff you'll never climb up.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I could read every article on fashion ever written and would still be unable to ever "dress to impress". In the same way as a blind person can never drive a car, however many lessons they have. Something in the feedback loop is missing, impairing my judgement. Knowing that NT's do find appearance important, the only solution I could see for me is to have my wardrobe totally controlled by someone else.
Or just not care at all.
_________________
The shoddier the merchandise -- the more it needs promoting |
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The_Chosen_One
Lord of all who roam in my domain
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 1371
Location: Looking down on humanity
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:28 am Post subject: |
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I think your wife was acting very inconsiderately. She shouldn't have kept making you look stupid.
_________________
Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!
Karma decides what must happen, and that includes everyone. |
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Sunfell
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 04, 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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OK- I'm female, and absolutely do not 'get' fashion. Like ManErg, I do not see any difference, and am not label conscious in the least bit. In fact, the only time I pay attention to labels and designers is when I find something that is well-made and fits my odd body correctly and comfortably. Then I'll look for that maker and try their stuff on first. Unfortunately, womens' clothing tends to drift in cut and style, and one year of Gloria Vanderbilt might be made totally differently than the next. So, it's always 'clothing roulette' for me. Guess I'm going to have to invent the Sloper Booth so I can have perfectly cut clothing on demand...
But I am fashion-blind. And I am also very texture-sensitive, so I have to dress to soothe that particular difficulty. That cuts out about 85% of most women's clothing, because there are some fabrics, cuts, etc- that I simply cannot wear. They're like hair shirts- very uncomfortable, and I get self-conscious when I am uncomfortable. I've had to turn down jobs that required me to adhere to a dress-code that included clothing and footwear that were not wearable to me. (And companies who insist that their IT person wear corporate drag, but still have to crawl under desks, into cabling and network closets, etc- are totally clueless in a Dilbertian way!) I am fortunate that I can wear 'business casual' clothing here- it is well kept, clean, and comfortable.
I do not dress to look 'hot'. I do not want to look 'hot', because then that would open up the whole 'try to figure out what this guy wants from me' can of worms. Why attract that? I am most comfortable in clothing that only exposes my face and neck, and my lower arms. And, rarely, my lower legs. No midriffs, no short shorts, no backs, no shoulders, no feet. Comfortable, sturdy, and safe.
I look at it this way- if people are more impressed by my clothing than they are by my mind, I'm messing up big time. |
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The_Chosen_One
Lord of all who roam in my domain
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 1371
Location: Looking down on humanity
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| Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 12:36 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I always dress for comfort and not style. People can take me or leave me and as far as I'm concerned, that's what they do anyway.
_________________
Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!
Karma decides what must happen, and that includes everyone. |
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dtoxic
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 311
Location: Boston MA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:33 am Post subject: |
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Beauty is skin deep.
Fashion is so shallow, it doesn't even reach the skin. It stops at the textiles draped thereon.
The fact that NTs invest so much time and effort into those textiles makes me tired and nauseated. I'm the same person whether I'm wearing Armani or a burlap sack. I don't want to meet a woman so shallow that she would ignore me in burlap but flock to me in Armani, I couldn't have anything but contempt for someone like that. But apparently that's all the women out there. So I'll stay lonely. |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:39 am Post subject: |
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| dtoxic wrote: | Beauty is skin deep.
Fashion is so shallow, it doesn't even reach the skin. It stops at the textiles draped thereon.
The fact that NTs invest so much time and effort into those textiles makes me tired and nauseated. I'm the same person whether I'm wearing Armani or a burlap sack. I don't want to meet a woman so shallow that she would ignore me in burlap but flock to me in Armani, I couldn't have anything but contempt for someone like that. But apparently that's all the women out there. So I'll stay lonely. |
There's some woman who don't care so much about appearances but they aren't usually the ones who flock to the clubs and bars and trendy parties.
_________________
Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 1881
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:29 am Post subject: |
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| Tohlagos wrote: | Ah the fashion "game."
Back in college, I did an experiment. I wore a suit w/tie to class one day. I had on a ring, nicely shined shoes, a briefcase, leather gloves, and very nice trench coat. The reaction I got was... interesting. I had people getting out of my way as I walked down the hallway. I had the door opened for me. The few people I talked to did not interrupt me. Then there was the compliments! I was being eyed a lot too.
It was strange and felt unreal to me. Fake.
The VERY NEXT DAY, I wore an old t-shirt (had a few small holes in it), sneakers with white socks, old jeans, and had my backpack that had a rip in it. People cut me off in the halls, ignored me, even avoided me.
By the end of that day, I had decided that our species was superficial and gullible.
Over 10 years later, I still have nice clothes: ties, dress pants, dress shoes, etc. But I only wear them when I fell there is need - a logical need such as a wedding/funeral/etc.
Dressing up to just impress people on a given day means I am trying to impress them with the wrong qualities... and perhaps trying to impress the wrong kind of people.
To each his own, but I wouldn't want someone to like me because of the clothes I wear. |
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dtoxic
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 311
Location: Boston MA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Pandora wrote: | | There's some woman who don't care so much about appearances but they aren't usually the ones who flock to the clubs and bars and trendy parties. |
So where the hell are they hiding? |
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penny07960
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 154
Location: US - right coast
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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| dtoxic wrote: | Beauty is skin deep.
Fashion is so shallow, it doesn't even reach the skin. It stops at the textiles draped thereon.
The fact that NTs invest so much time and effort into those textiles makes me tired and nauseated. I'm the same person whether I'm wearing Armani or a burlap sack. I don't want to meet a woman so shallow that she would ignore me in burlap but flock to me in Armani, I couldn't have anything but contempt for someone like that. But apparently that's all the women out there. So I'll stay lonely. |
dtoxic,
You may be ignoring the visual clues that turn off women. I am not interested in guy's that are fashionistas (fashionistos?). I don't believe that most women are. (In fact, I don't think that it is even masculine for a guy to obsess over clothing.) BUT I do want 'my guy' to look respectable. You can wear Sear's brand jeans and a generic colored t-shirt and still look good. But if you look like a hobo, wearing ill-fitting or dirty or excessively worn clothes, then you are an embarrassment to your date.
This may not apply to you, but I am constantly amazed at how guys think it is okay for them to look like winos on the Bowery (a historical reference - the Bowery is much improved these days) and yet expect to get girls who look like Angelina Jolie.
By all means, skip the high-priced fashion items; that shows common sense. Beside, they will be passé next season. But put effort into your appearance if you expect to get a girl who cares about her's.
Penny |
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dtoxic
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 311
Location: Boston MA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:04 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, I still don't get it. "Look respectable" is a paradox to me, since I do not base respect on someone's looks.
If I leave my house wishing to be able to try and capitalize on opportunities for meeting women, I wear at a minimum the outfit you describe and sometimes slightly better. I do not look like a wino. I still get no play whatsoever from women, and have gotten disparaging remarks about my clothes. So I'm not sure for what women you speak. |
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