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| Do you think it's possible for ALL Aspies to become financially independent and live in their own house? |
| Yes. |
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21% |
[ 29 ] |
| No. |
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12% |
[ 16 ] |
| Yes, they just have to get off their asses and do something with their lives! |
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14% |
[ 19 ] |
| No, some aspies just aren't "wired" to join the workforce and meet the requirements which allows people to become independent. |
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51% |
[ 68 ] |
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| Total Votes : 132 |
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| Author |
Message |
pat666rick
The craziest member of WrongPlanet
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Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 1735
Location: The Moon
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 Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:44 am Post subject: Aspergers independence poll (might be controversial) |
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Do you think it's possible for ALL Aspies to become independent? (Financial and housing independence)
I figured I'd start this poll since so many people have just looked past my aspergers and told me that I should "just get a job". It really drives me nuts when people tell me this. Perhaps it is easy to say "get a job", but in reality it is not easy for me to get a job, or at least not easy for me to get a job I'd last very long at. |
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woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 2437
Location: NY
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:09 am Post subject: |
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I have done alright up too this point, but it has been a struggle, I definatly dont think every aspie can do it, and that many will, some just wont, and the reasons why are to many to meansion. For me, part of my sucess in life (and I do alright, but still work only parttime in only a halfway decent job, own a small house and nice car, I have nice things but really live on the edge as far as if something unforseen were to happen, I could loose everything) but part of my sucess in life was my parents helping me while growing up, and without that support I would probably not have what I have now.
_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead. |
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slowmutant
Grail Knight
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Posts: 4478
Location: Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 6:55 am Post subject: |
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| Many of us just don't have the social / cognitive skills to own a home, etc. Myself included. |
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F-16
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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| slowmutant wrote: | | Many of us just don't have the social / cognitive skills to own a home, etc. Myself included. |
Don't say that. I want to be independent! (I just lack the financial (and probably social) assets to do so...)
No offense, if you're fine with being dependant, good for you. I just don't want to be... |
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CottlestonPie
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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| I voted no, not because of AS, because there are not enough jobs to go around. Not everyone is going to be financially independent, AS or not. |
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NOBS
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 20, 2008
Age: 45
Posts: 59
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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Hi All;
I'll appologize in advance because I'm sure I'm going to offend a few here.
Everyone, I repeat, EVERYONE has some sort of issues!!!! I'll note that one of the richest men in the world supposdly has AS. I also strongly contend that EVERYONE can fulfill some use in society. Can you wash dishes? Sack groceries? Clean hotel rooms? No, none of these things are desireable or lucrative jobs, but they are all necesary. All of us here, over the age of 40, grew up in a world where no one had even heard of AS. I believe most of us could tell you of many times we tried and fell flat on our faces; but we got back up and tried again! Why? Because we needed to eat. I've done most of those jobs at one time or another, and yet now I make a very good living that most of the folks on this site would be envious of. No, I'm not Emperor of the world yet, (but I keep waiting for the position to open up), and I've nowhere near lived up to my potential, but through trying, and failing, over and over I've done all right, am reasonably happy, and you, or any one else can too.
Regards, |
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pat666rick
The craziest member of WrongPlanet
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Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 1735
Location: The Moon
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:47 am Post subject: |
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| NOBS wrote: | Hi All;
I'll appologize in advance because I'm sure I'm going to offend a few here.
Everyone, I repeat, EVERYONE has some sort of issues!!!! I'll note that one of the richest men in the world supposdly has AS. I also strongly contend that EVERYONE can fulfill some use in society. Can you wash dishes? Sack groceries? Clean hotel rooms? No, none of these things are desireable or lucrative jobs, but they are all necesary. All of us here, over the age of 40, grew up in a world where no one had even heard of AS. I believe most of us could tell you of many times we tried and fell flat on our faces; but we got back up and tried again! Why? Because we needed to eat. I've done most of those jobs at one time or another, and yet now I make a very good living that most of the folks on this site would be envious of. No, I'm not Emperor of the world yet, (but I keep waiting for the position to open up), and I've nowhere near lived up to my potential, but through trying, and failing, over and over I've done all right, am reasonably happy, and you, or any one else can too.
Regards, |
Did you happen to be one of the people to vote "Yes, they just have to get off their asses and do something with their lives!"? |
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NOBS
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 20, 2008
Age: 45
Posts: 59
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:55 am Post subject: |
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My that's terribly perceptive for an aspie. There goes that theory of mind thing. (Big grin) Seriously though life IS tougher for us in many ways, but I don't think that gives us any special privelidges. Keep your chin up. Perserverance can and will pay off.
Regards, |
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slowmutant
Grail Knight
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Posts: 4478
Location: Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:57 am Post subject: |
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I share your views on Aspies and work, NOBS. Well-said!  |
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EvilOlive
Raven
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 106
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:19 am Post subject: |
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I do better at jobs that are forgiving of my quirks...likesay jobs where the schedule is not set..because I always screw up and oversleep...Jobs where I will not get repremanded or pressured..because I am really sensitive and stuff like that can cause me to have a meltdown and/or leave the job....
Ideally, I prefer to work for myself.
i have held lots of jobs ever since i was a teenager...and I have lived independantly on my own and whatnot...
though i have really have trouble re-integrating myself back into the workforce this last time around...
I ran a performance and art space for 5 years...but since we have been shut down, I have been having to um...get a normal job..
I found one easily enough....but in my first week alone, I have already screwed up so much that I don't know how long I am gonna make it....
This is not to say that I CANT work....history proves that I can....I just don't always find it the easiest thing in the world.
I did best when I held down multiple casual part-time jobs.
I have also done well in a very structured full-time situation where I was dropped off at work everyday by someone who had to be at work at the same time...so it made it hard to be late.
The thing is...I am not diagnosed....even so...some of the jobs have inevitably acknowleded that I need a little extra leeway in certain areas and have given it to me...but I don't expect it...and I can't come out and say that I sometimes need a little extra help... |
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kaytie
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 240
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:58 am Post subject: Re: Aspergers independence poll (might be controversial) |
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| pat666rick wrote: | Do you think it's possible for ALL Aspies to become independent? (Financial and housing independence)
I figured I'd start this poll since so many people have just looked past my aspergers and told me that I should "just get a job". It really drives me nuts when people tell me this. Perhaps it is easy to say "get a job", but in reality it is not easy for me to get a job, or at least not easy for me to get a job I'd last very long at. |
i agree, it's easy to get one, keeping one is another story. |
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ClosetAspy
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Age: 51
Posts: 346
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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I really think it depends on a combination of things, like how well a person functions and what kind of education/skills they have. I also think some of it depends on motivation. I was not "allowed" by my parents, school or therapists, to develop a handicapped attitude; the goal was to make me as normal as possible and in many respects they were successful. But they also made it very clear what the alternative was if I failed--some kind of institution, or sheltered workshop, in which I would forever give up any hope of living in dignity. So any tendencies toward Aspyness were to be eradicated, without mercy.
I think Dr. Grandin says it like it is when she talks about a general lowering of standards. Life is not fair, and unfortunately there is a lot of competition for jobs. My workplace gets 1,000 applications a month. So they can be, and are, choosy. At the time I was hired things were a lot different; I don't think I could get in the door today even though I have proven to be a good worker. Namely because I lacked the skills.
The thing to keep in mind is that even though employers are legally bound to accomodate people with disabilities, that is not what they are in business for. They are in business to either provide a service or a product. There are some things that it is not reasonable to expect them to do. If you are having issues with meltdowns, for example, YOU need to resolve them before you start working. It's not the company's job to do so, and it is not fair to the other employees to have to be subjected to it. There are a lot of things that I just have to grit my teeth about every day and not give in to my natural tendencies. Because if I don't it does not matter how valuable an employee I may have been otherwise; I am being disruptive and maybe even causing the company to lose business. |
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t0
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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| ClosetAspy wrote: | | I really think it depends on a combination of things, like how well a person functions and what kind of education/skills they have. I also think some of it depends on motivation. I was not "allowed" by my parents, school or therapists, to develop a handicapped attitude; the goal was to make me as normal as possible and in many respects |
I really like seeing this. Having no clue was AS was until my 30s, I had no excuse not to be "normal". I can remember my father telling me that I'd better go to college and get a good job because when I turned 18, he was kicking me out of the house (he didn't really mean it, but I thought he did). So I had a lot of incentive to go out on my own.
One of the reasons I came to this forum was to get an idea of how broad the spectrum was so that I could better understand how varied everyone is. I believe that many AS adults can be independant given the proper motivation. But after lurking on the forum for a while, I also believe that some AS adults would starve to death if their "safety net" was removed - regardless of the motivation you provided. |
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RedTape0651
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 07, 2007
Posts: 72
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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| NOBS wrote: | Hi All;
I'll appologize in advance because I'm sure I'm going to offend a few here.
Everyone, I repeat, EVERYONE has some sort of issues!!!! I'll note that one of the richest men in the world supposdly has AS. I also strongly contend that EVERYONE can fulfill some use in society. Can you wash dishes? Sack groceries? Clean hotel rooms? No, none of these things are desireable or lucrative jobs, but they are all necesary. All of us here, over the age of 40, grew up in a world where no one had even heard of AS. I believe most of us could tell you of many times we tried and fell flat on our faces; but we got back up and tried again! Why? Because we needed to eat. I've done most of those jobs at one time or another, and yet now I make a very good living that most of the folks on this site would be envious of. No, I'm not Emperor of the world yet, (but I keep waiting for the position to open up), and I've nowhere near lived up to my potential, but through trying, and failing, over and over I've done all right, am reasonably happy, and you, or any one else can too.
Regards, |
I must contend with the fact that one can become "financially independent" by washing dishes or cleaning hotel rooms.
Perhaps there are two issues in this poll. The first is whether every Aspie is employable. The second is whether every Aspie can become financially independent and own their own home. There are plenty of employed people, Aspie or NT, who do not fit the second category (and to back myself up, I will cite the current "housing crisis" and the epidemic of people being "duped" by subprime loans). |
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AnnieDog
Raven
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 116
Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:39 pm Post subject: |
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| ClosetAspy wrote: |
The thing to keep in mind is that even though employers are legally bound to accomodate people with disabilities, that is not what they are in business for. They are in business to either provide a service or a product. There are some things that it is not reasonable to expect them to do. If you are having issues with meltdowns, for example, YOU need to resolve them before you start working. It's not the company's job to do so, and it is not fair to the other employees to have to be subjected to it. There are a lot of things that I just have to grit my teeth about every day and not give in to my natural tendencies. Because if I don't it does not matter how valuable an employee I may have been otherwise; I am being disruptive and maybe even causing the company to lose business. |
This is the part that sucks. It is the adapt or die bit of any workplace. I think because we spectrum residents are very bright, thoughtful people, we can be very self critical. You will try to do what is "expected" and fail. You may get fired. You may get told, "It's just not working out." You may quit because [the cube is unlivable, the job smells funny...]. You may not understand the unwritten dress code. You may be flat-out lied to (my fav). You have to pick yourself up and try again. And again. And again. Make small changes to improvement in between. Keep working at working and eventually you may get there.
As a very bright, thoughtful people, surely most of us can find a way to hold a job. I say most because I do have a friend who simply cannot work - she is too disabled. She does make contributions to society in her own way, from being an expert in a particular art form to being a good daughter/sister/friend.
_________________
Apologies if I sound judgmental, preachy, dictatorial, offensive or overly rigid. Constructive criticism via PM is welcome. |
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