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blessedmom
Cynically Optimistic Daydreamer
Joined: Apr 10, 2007
Posts: 4266
Location: Western Canada
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 Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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I was in grade 5 when I noticed my social life was different. And yes, I thought it sucked. I used to get so depressed about it, even suicidal at times.
At 30, when I decided that I was happy to be socially withdrawn and liked being alone, I stopped being depressed because I no longer had to try to fit in. It was a relief and now I am quite happy.
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It is what it is....... |
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sartresue
Radical Aspergian
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 2155
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: When did you notice your social life sucked |
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Sucking the life out of you topic
My kids tease me all the time that my social life sucks. I say if I had a social life it would suck the life out of me. 
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Radical Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind
Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11488
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Well in elementary school I had some friends but when junior high it, I had none. It was so hard fitting in with my peers. It was hard for me to pretend to fit in. Those were the most grueling years of my life. |
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Rainstorm5
Tornado Aficionado
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 1051
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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I noticed I was an outcast in kindergarten, at the age of 5. I had a couple of close friends in high school, but no close friends since. Right now I don't have any at all, perhaps because I've given up trying to connect with anyone. (I have my husband and kids, though).
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Terminal Outsider, rogue graphic designer & lunatic fringe. |
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SierraBell
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 447
Location: On the mother earth in the USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:32 am Post subject: Re: when did you notice your social life sucked? |
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| Kitsy wrote: | In elementary school, I was oblivious to reactions so it didn't bother me much. Jr high is when I started being treated differently and teased.
What about you? |
I really didn't care about people when I was kid, so it didn't bother me that I hardly had any friends. When I was in fifth grade, it notice that I only had one friend and I really didn't know how to make friends with other people.
In sixth grade I lost that one friend because of something I said. In middle school I really noticed that my peers basically ignored me. I'm at a different school and they still do  |
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Ithaca
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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| I've noticed that my social life has sucked for most of my life, but for much of it was able to go into a hopeful denial of my situation. I've just recently self-diagnosed (plus informally by a practitioner) due to some recently awful social life stuff... most people I knew dumped me saying I made them nervous or there was a disconnect, so they ended our friendships very suddenly, without saying anything to me until I pressed them for more info. AS fits me, but I wish that I didn't fit it. (Sometimes it is just hard to think positively about AS being a good thing.) |
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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7th grade. I didn't care before, though I wondered why nobody liked me.
My father pointed it out to me very clearly then though, so I got it. I didn't like feeling like a reject though.
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"You can do the math a thousand way, but you can't undo the past"
From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead' |
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Nico
I'm Miss World
Joined: Sep 29, 2006
Posts: 1877
Location: Cheshire, UK
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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I was 10. It was at that age when I noticed that I was always alone both at school and outside of school.
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Controversy begins only where acceptance ends. |
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jenidallas
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 7
Location: Fort Worth, TX
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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I think I always knew I was different than other kids - in fact, the first behavioral testing my parents did was in nursery school because I was aggressive in how I interacted with other kids from day one.
In the early years of elementary school, I didn't notice too much because I was with the same group of kids for so much - ballet, girl scouts, swimming - so they were kind of forced to invite me to birthday parties and the like. But as we got to the age where kids had a say, I noticed others avoiding me. I changed schools three times in junior high and repeatedly found myself the "odd strange girl" that others sometimes befriended, but never were close to. I'd sometimes make close friends, but then they would suddenly start avoiding me because of pressure from other kids.
My senior year in high school, I finally became friends with a group of semi-popular girls - I think they took me into their circle because I was editor of the newspaper and they were on staff with me. I started doing "normal" things like going on dates and going to dances or football games.
In college, I joined a sorority (the "good one on campus" although I later found out they took me because my grades would bring the house GPA up) and had a relatively textbook college experience. I had boyfriends and lived in a dorm and did all the stereotypical college things. I always felt like I was "acting" though because a lot of the things I HATED and as a result, I often went through periods of complete isolation and meltdown from the stress. I was physically sick (auto-immune) for most of my college years and had bouts of depression when I had trouble getting along in my sorority and dorm. I got hired as a resident advisor in the dorms and then fired for not "meeting expectations". I had trouble holding a job and multitasking. Still, socially, it was probably the "best" period of my life.
Since college (I graduated at 22 and I'm now 36), my social circle has seemed to constantly fluctuate. The only people who stick around are the ones who "get me" and they are often very much "like me". I went on lots of dates until I turned 30 but always had trouble making (and keeping) female friendships. I feel like I've suddenly become LESS mature than a lot of folks my age - its like I regressed. And people tell me that I'm hard to befriend because I can alternate from being completely "aloof and snobby" to "completely intense and overwhelming". |
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Beckula
Raven
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 121
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| Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| First grade, sigh...but I was always terribly shy. |
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amaren
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 215
Location: wallowing in bed
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:32 am Post subject: |
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I knew something was up in primary school, but didn't really think about it. Went back to playing with my dragons.
Middle school was horrible - I was bullied, but I still didn't notice that I didn't have a 'social life' as such, I just wanted people to stop hitting me.
At the beginning of high school I attached myself to a group who seemed like the odd ones in the hope that they would be my friends and help stop the bullying. It stopped, but it took me 2 years to realise that 'friends' isn't just sitting silently next to the group at lunchtime and never seeing them after school or weekends. Then I spent all my time re-reading favourite old books in the library for a few months before discovering the joys of the internet - I met someone I could talk to for hours, but meeting someone online at 9pm every night of the year isn't *quite* a social life.
I went to uni in the same city as my ICQ friend. I was more confident having someone I really knew there, and I was bizarrely and suddenly popular - people liked the weird girl. I was bewildered, but happy 
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The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow. |
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Josie
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Posts: 556
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:41 am Post subject: |
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| probably preschool. |
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kaytie
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 241
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 4:06 am Post subject: |
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as early as 4 years old, i'd get into fights,
sometimes i'd be violent, but i never got in trouble coz
i had good grades.
it seriously sucked when i was working already, in my
20's, coz i got picked on at work by this girl who was
10 years older than me but acted like h/s, i hate her still and
this was more than 11 years ago. |
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opal
Toucan
Joined: Jul 23, 2007
Posts: 282
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:42 am Post subject: |
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About 7-8.
My kindy and first grade teachers were really good, and they liked me. My 2nd grade teacher was a bitch, but the other kids could adjust to her. I couldn't. It was about this time that I realised that I was being bullied and excluded by not only the teacher, but the other kids. (Mostly the girls)  |
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opal
Toucan
Joined: Jul 23, 2007
Posts: 282
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:50 am Post subject: |
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| Wabbits wrote: | | In the first grade...we were all supposed to be in the Christmas play, playing simple percussion musical instruments and I was super excited until I came home and told my mom about the play and she said I couldn't be in the play, I started crying, she slapped me in the face, and shook me until my teeth rattled....and she told me I was a mess, not normal and would never be ok....nice mom huh? and that was pretty much the beginning of an ongoing nasty relationship with my mom, that continues to this day (my mom is in her 70's now) just talking to her on the phone can make me go into a dark mood--I try not to have any contact with her, or as little as possible. All through school I was never able to have a girlfriend for more than two weeks, they'd always dump me for a cooler friend....still don't make friends easily...they always turn into predators who want something from me, or want me to do something for them, but they don't want my friendship...maybe my standards of what I think friendship is, is too high...I do have great penpals though, of people I've never met in person...and about 5 friends in real life, and a wonderful relationship with my daughter--my only child, whom I raised alone. |
I can so relate to this, I feel your pain. My mum told me I was a moron, a cretin, a bloody autistic, and that I'd just have friends if I tried harder. (I don't know if she ever knew, and I've not had the guts to ask her) . I have had a few really good friends, but I've also had some that would hang around until they had something better to do and someone better to do it with. |
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