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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3591
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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 Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | it almost begs the question, if not all women do this, why are men attracted to women who do this?
I mean, aren't the men somewhat responsible for whom they chose to have play with their heads? |
You assume that a man knows a particular woman is likely to play mind games beforehand. For example, with the woman who wanted to go out for dinner or lunch with me, I had met her in a relatively innocuous way: while volunteering (so I made certain assumptions about the quality of people's honesty, for example). Her excuses for rescheduling the first and second time sounded pretty reasonable, and she still expressed interest in doing it some other time. It seemed to be getting pretty ridiculous, though, and I actually talked to a couple of guys at work, and they had trouble not laughing, and they were also thinking what I was starting to think: that she was just messing around. Now, if I had other women to meet at the time, I probably would have stopped with her altogether sooner. Of course, even after she called to cancel 24 minutes before we were supposed to meet for dinner (because of a boyfriend of all things), she still thought we might hang out at some future volunteer activity (I later e-mailed her clarifying that we most certainly would not). |
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KenM
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 544
Location: Mass. USA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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Merle,
No I just said I its not working out, even as firends. I was not really feeling anything from her other then the fact that i feel like she uses me for rides and a place to hang out when she is over here. (she lives on an island, i'm on the mainland). I told I felt she mislead me and I don't trust or repsect her. I can't be firends with someone i can't trust or respect.
I also told her I'm not mad at her because she does not want me as more then a friend, if the feelings are not there they are not there. I'm upset because I felt she was not honest with me from the start. I also told her that she did more damage to me and because of her and the last girl, I have major trust issues now and I will prob. never have the type of reltionship I want. I also said I hope she can live with herself because of it. |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3591
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| EvilKimEvil wrote: | Some enjoy playing mind games. Some don't even know how to play mind games.
One can take these things into consideration when deciding who to date. There are ways to filter out the ones you want to avoid before you get seriously involved with them. There are ways to test a person's honesty and reaction to honesty. |
This is so ironic. Do you realize you're suggesting guys play a form of mind games to test whether a girl is playing mind games? I'm sure many women believe the mind games they play are "just" to figure out if a guy is honest or unlikely to cheat on her—because some magazine they read or their best friend said so. |
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Lurv
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 215
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: |
| Quote: | | Women generally don't like nice guys even though they pretend like they do. |
No, women generally like masculine guys and it just happen that most bad guys have masculine traits and most nice guys usually lack many masculine traits. |
Yeah. Or, well. I think that while there are some women who like bad guys, if a nice guy is having problems with girls, his niceness is probably not the only reason. |
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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3080
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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My coworker's gf always play mind game with him but what's creepy that he always go back to her :S
She sent him once a message to his mobile phone from her friend's number saying: "Hi, I am lisa , wanna have a drink?". My coworker knew the number and he fought with her gf and told her 'that's enough! bye'.
Another time, there was a business dinner and he told her that he can't take her with him because the invitation cards are limited and this is just a business dinner (and this is the truth). She told just 30 min before the dinner that she was invited by a guy to the same dinner, after a big quarrel he found out that she was just lying.
yet , he always go back to her with over-sweet talk....how pathetic ...he never learns, if I was him I would make sure to make her cry and never see my face again. |
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Warsie
HMFIC G Representin' Da South Side of Chi-Town
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1364
Location: Chicago, IL USA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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title:
"All women are demons from Hell that like to mess with men."
we ALREADY KNEW THAT!  
Now anyone remember those rap lyrics that are misognyist? Why do they sell so good? Why are they popular?
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9/11 was an inside job
http://www.911truth.org/
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7523
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | Merle,
No I just said I its not working out, even as firends. I was not really feeling anything from her other then the fact that i feel like she uses me for rides and a place to hang out when she is over here. (she lives on an island, i'm on the mainland). I told I felt she mislead me and I don't trust or repsect her. I can't be firends with someone i can't trust or respect.
I also told her I'm not mad at her because she does not want me as more then a friend, if the feelings are not there they are not there. I'm upset because I felt she was not honest with me from the start. I also told her that she did more damage to me and because of her and the last girl, I have major trust issues now and I will prob. never have the type of reltionship I want. I also said I hope she can live with herself because of it. |
and she said a few things to hurt you too, don't you think? Like that she knew she didn't like you from BEFORE you two met, right?
So, the point I am making here is you both wanted to make the other hurt at the end of the relationship and words were said to MAKE each other hurt worse.
so, look at it this way, now you can blame women forever for never having the kind of relationship you want! How cool! you never have to try again! you can just give up and that's it! They win, you lose and if you squint just right, you will see it in every woman and relationship you will EVER have in your life.
Damaged beyond repair, crushed by life and love. Never lifting your head again but always feeling the cold, cold rain of dejection and betrayal. . .(sniff, sniff)
and since you have already damned me (as a woman) to hell, what does it matter what I say to you, I can't lose anything by it.
Merle
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been there, done that. Got older, got wiser, Loved again, lost again. Loved yet again, they DIED, loved again, lost again. |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | and she said a few things to hurt you too, don't you think? Like that she knew she didn't like you from BEFORE you two met, right?
So, the point I am making here is you both wanted to make the other hurt at the end of the relationship and words were said to MAKE each other hurt worse.
so, look at it this way, now you can blame women forever for never having the kind of relationship you want! How cool! you never have to try again! you can just give up and that's it! They win, you lose and if you squint just right, you will see it in every woman and relationship you will EVER have in your life.
Damaged beyond repair, crushed by life and love. Never lifting your head again but always feeling the cold, cold rain of dejection and betrayal. . .(sniff, sniff)
and since you have already damned me (as a woman) to hell, what does it matter what I say to you, I can't lose anything by it.
Merle
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Merle, I really think you're beating a dead horse here.............................. |
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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4044
Location: North Mississippi
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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Just a feeling I've got is this, she hurt you and now you want her to hurt too... How does that make you not hurt anymore? I know I've worked really hard on my ability to forgive b/c I always held a grudge and never forgave, and now I don't so I get over it easier... As for her from what I heard is she thought maybe it'll work out then she found out it wouldn't and was trying to be nice about it by saying what she did. People aren't perfect she hasn't tried to make you suffer but you want her too, it just seems like she screwed up and you did too it happens learn from it and don't let it happen again.
Ok I thought I'd add this as an edit b/c you keep saying she knew from the start it wouldn't work, well I bet she was lying and didn't know how to say it that she really didn't think it would work out with you, assuming she said it after you made another advance on her or something.
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7523
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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| KingofKaboom wrote: | Just a feeling I've got is this, she hurt you and now you want her to hurt too... How does that make you not hurt anymore? I know I've worked really hard on my ability to forgive b/c I always held a grudge and never forgave, and now I don't so I get over it easier... As for her from what I heard is she thought maybe it'll work out then she found out it wouldn't and was trying to be nice about it by saying what she did. People aren't perfect she hasn't tried to make you suffer but you want her too, it just seems like she screwed up and you did too it happens learn from it and don't let it happen again.
Ok I thought I'd add this as an edit b/c you keep saying she knew from the start it wouldn't work, well I bet she was lying and didn't know how to say it that she really didn't think it would work out with you, assuming she said it after you made another advance on her or something. |
She said it AFTER, to make it sting. Kaboom. . .not before, or our friend here would have had to be an idiot to keep going on with it.
Merle |
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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4044
Location: North Mississippi
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I know she did I'm saying that sometimes girls like to try it anyway and then lie later about they're intentions so that they don't ruin what they have now ie friendship b/c they don't want to date them. And from what I've heard if she wanted him to suffer she'd have done much more to him.
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Shayne
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 336
Location: South Florida, USA Age: 24
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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"it almost begs the question, if not all women do this, why are men attracted to women who do this?"
men get caught up in this without realizing it. therefore it's not a matter of choice. you see the negative response once they actually figure out what's happening to them.
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Given that true intellectual and emotional compatability Are at the very least difficult
If not impossible to come by We could always opt for the more temporal gratification Of sheer physical attraction That wouldn't make you a shallow person Would it? |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | "it almost begs the question, if not all women do this, why are men attracted to women who do this?" |
Some men are and I have no f***ing idea why cuz I sure as bloody hell am Not! 
But I will say (for the UMPTEENTH time ) that such women are very dishonest and often fool men like us(without the ability to pick up on subtle cues)into thinking that they're nice, honest, gals. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7523
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: | | Quote: | | "it almost begs the question, if not all women do this, why are men attracted to women who do this?" |
Some men are and I have no f***ing idea why cuz I sure as bloody hell am Not!
But I will say (for the UMPTEENTH time ) that such women are very dishonest and often fool men like us(without the ability to pick up on subtle cues)into thinking that they're nice, honest, gals. |
so, if women do this to men, and men (I don't think I am going to get an arguement, here) do this to women, then it sounds like a PEOPLE thing.
personally, Limerence is the problem, here. Limerence or infatuation (crush) is a chemical reaction of pheremones and causes that lovely insanity of 'romantic love'. It is natures way of bonding a couple for the time it takes (18 months to three years) to raise a child until it can walk independently.
so. . screwed by wanting to screw, if you will pardon the vulgarity. . . |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3591
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | | so, if women do this to men, and men (I don't think I am going to get an arguement, here) do this to women, then it sounds like a PEOPLE thing. |
I think you are going to get an argument. Generally, women are known in our culture for "playing games" more than men. |
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