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Thomas1138
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 459
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 Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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| KatieMiller wrote: | | oops. Totally not what I meant to say. How embarrasing; I apologize. |
I was just messing with ya.
I do disagree with you on dating difficulties being equal between the two sexes though. You girls have the sociatal advantage of men being expected to take the lead in initiating a relationship. Plus there are just so many more guys than girls that share AS traits that you're a rather premium commodity. |
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Poeticromance
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 11, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 154
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry, everyone that I have not been posting, lol. I read all of your posts.
To those who were honest and didn't find me attractive. I don't mind you don't. At least you were honest and didn't say it so harshly like most people my age would say (example: EW YOUR f***ing FAT AND UGLY!)
My hair was pervously jet black. It did bore me eventually. My hair color changes a lot. One of the few things I LOVE to change is my hair.
I know I have a social problem, that is why I may have AS, lol. It is hard for me to talk to someone without the help of a friend. All my ex BFS and ex GF were friends of my friends or talked to me frist. My GF talked to me frist. My frist BF talked to me frist and my recent ex BF was a friend of one of my friends. I didn't even really talk to him. I was just busting on my friend and he couldn't stop laughing. I don't have the confidence to really talk to someone randomly.
If anyone has any tips for how you talk to people, I'd appericate that xD |
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Thomas1138
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 459
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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Hold on. Are you saying that you can socialize with your friends, but you have difficulty socializing with your boyfriends/girlfriends?
If that's the problem, it may simply be a matter of compatibility and nerves. |
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dragonboy
ROAR
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 1781
Location: wherever nature is untouched
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:33 am Post subject: |
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with new people start off simple with basic small talk, its quite easy to do, it works for me pretty well
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Nature, the true gem of the world we live in, dont let it die! |
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sim
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 20, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 637
Location: an uneven circle
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:41 am Post subject: |
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Yes.
I'm too lazy to be descriptive, sorry. |
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Zara
is a Large Hadron Collider
Joined: Jun 24, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1535
Location: Deep Dungeon, VA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 9:37 am Post subject: Re: Do you find me attractive? |
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| Poeticromance wrote: | Just felt like asking xD. You can be districpitive and I like HONESTY.
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Yes. It looks like you have a good figure, pretty eyes, and that splash of purple in your hair is hot. Very cute. 
It sounds like to me that you can attract people with your looks. You just have to work on keeping them there with other things, making a good connection and such.
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2071
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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| It looks like there is very little I can add to this |
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Poeticromance
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 11, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 154
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Thomas1138 wrote: | Hold on. Are you saying that you can socialize with your friends, but you have difficulty socializing with your boyfriends/girlfriends?
If that's the problem, it may simply be a matter of compatibility and nerves. |
No, I mean new people. I have a hard time getting BF/GFs because new people scare me. |
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Warsie
HMFIC G Representin' Da South Side of Chi-Town
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1381
Location: Chicago, IL USA
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject: Re: Do you find me attractive? |
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| Poeticromance wrote: | I like HONESTY.
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Abangyarudo
Toucan
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 265
Location: Amityville, New York
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject: Re: Do you find me attractive? |
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| zombie wrote: | | Poeticromance wrote: | Just felt like asking xD. You can be districpitive and I like HONESTY.
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Personally i rekon you look cute |
yea I think shes beautiful.
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Illustrious is it to have many virtues, but a hard lot ; and many a one hath gone into the wilderness and killed himself, because he was weary of being the battle and battlefield of virtues Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friederich Nietzsche
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Abangyarudo
Toucan
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 265
Location: Amityville, New York
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 10:59 pm Post subject: |
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| sgrannel wrote: | | KatieMiller wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | a girl DOESN'T need much social skills to get a bf, the shyest girl of the world can get a bf if she's attractive, Poeticromance is not a guy for god's sake! What she needs is to be more attractive, so giving her tips to become more attractive (physically) would be more useful that giving cliché advices such as 'be social' , a useless advice to an aspie nonetheless. |
That is absolutely not true. The prettiest girl in the world may attract a lot of guys but attraction alone does not a relationship make. Trust me, I know this from experience. Besides, being shy and being aspie are two completely different things. They sometimes overlap, but they are separate.
Dating and having relationships is just as hard for aspie girls as it is for guys. Seems like a big misconception that we have it easier or something.
Improved looks do help, as does the self-confidence that comes with them. But social skills are the big one. Not just talking to people as an alternative to shy silence, but the actual social skills that are so difficult for all of us. You're right that "Be social" is useless advice, but I don't know if anyone said that. What is excellent advice is to commit to learning social skills and understanding other people. You can still be shy and have good social skills. |
Are you saying that you have so much experience with the attraction aspect that you now take it for granted, and are possibly even jaded with it? The fact that you're saying "attraction alone does not a relationship make", shows that it IS easier for the women, or at least for you. You apparently can afford to nitpick about this and that, which means you are several steps ahead of where many guys are. All of the women I know who are staying out of relationships, are doing so voluntarily, usually because they're unhealthy, jaded, or both. Learn to appreciate what you have, and take care of yourself so you don't end up like that.
Don't say "no, no, no" to everyone you meet, and then complain about how life is so boring and lonely. You gotta start somewhere, and nobody is perfect.
Personally, I could find a way to have fun with attraction, with the possibility of developing a relationship, as long as there aren't any major problems. |
that comes down to if you want a bang or a true romance. If Poetic is looking to be intimate thats fine then maybe prince's advice may help her but looking for a romance that works for awhile is alot harder and takes more then looks into account. You can afford to nitpick too but attitude is a big thing some guys are just too open in the beginning most of my dates found me quite in the begginning but fell in love with me and with the exception of one or two exs I'd say they would all get back with me if they could.
In the end too many people with Asperger's have self defeating mentality which causes problems. If I go by most of the boards here I've had many more gfs then most people here but I'm not going in there ready to fail nor does it affect me if that girl turns around and says "I'm not interested." I think katie was right regardless because I personally feel if its not a chance of a romance that is going to last and add to my lfie and experiences its just not worth it.
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Illustrious is it to have many virtues, but a hard lot ; and many a one hath gone into the wilderness and killed himself, because he was weary of being the battle and battlefield of virtues Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friederich Nietzsche
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spudnik
Cheeky Monkey
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 3404
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 11:07 pm Post subject: Re: Do you find me attractive? |
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| Poeticromance wrote: | Just felt like asking xD. You can be districpitive and I like HONESTY.
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You Look Mahvelous |
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patrick6
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Posts: 1901
Location: London, U.K.
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I think you're cute but I think you hate me now.  |
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886
Honking Antelope
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 2678
Location: valley of the damned
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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No.
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If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing. |
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Dokken
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 12, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 203
Location: Merryland
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 1:13 am Post subject: |
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I think I'm good looking.
Why do you people keeping posting this girls photo over and over? I bet someone has done something odd or interesting while looking at this photo.
Poeticromance, how old are, 16 or 17? I'm going to assume you're in high school. Many guys probably don't approach because you may dress or appear different than what is perceived as normal in high school. Also, if you're the same person that mentioned you hang out with some bimbo that's concerned about being too pretty. Being around her probably doesn't help too much when trying to meet guys. Most high school kids, I'm assuming, will try to get with her for an easy lay.
If you go to college you will probably find a wider variety of people that find you attractive.
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