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frankcritic
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 145
Location: United States, AR
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 Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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I think that a dark but profound truth gets lost in all of this. To some of us, if we're honest with ourselves, the misery of loneliness is simply the price we will pay for being true to ourselves. That doesn't make the misery of loneliness any easier to take, but it does give it a certain nobility. You're being true to yourself and not imposing yourself upon anyone. You are granting yourself and hypothetical people who would be miserable with you freedom.
-Frank |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:02 am Post subject: |
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| northern light girl wrote: | O ho hoooo, so NT or non-NT guys who engage in impulsive promiscuity have an excuse, poor babies...they're bi-polar. Funny how there are 1000 excuses for their behaviour. No, I'd say they're just being guys. Young guys. Not ready for anything. Until they hit 25+ they're rarely looking for some deep, meaningful relationship (they might actually get into one but not mindfully, consciously really need it and thus look for it..they might be just lucky to find it anyway and settle down). I don't know any bi-polar people. The type I have encountered are indeed alpha-male, extroverted types. Pretty healthy emotionally:) And what I have said of them was not a critique. It was just a counter-example to your view. I think 25 is about the right age to settle down, male or female.
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........Uh-huh 
You seem to have some pretty old fashioned notions about guys and girls northern_light_girl, no offense  . Seriously though:
WTF makes you think it ONLY guys(or even mostly)who engage in impulsive promiscuity and NOT girls???
What up and smell the dogsh1t NLG! Women most certainly DO sleep around When they can and when the feel like it!
I understand that society has a double standard when it comes to promiscuity for men and women but from the young women Ive known AND what Ive read and heard-that doestn seem to stop them from doing it  . Furthermore, Bipolar WOMEN are NOTORIOUS for their compulsive promiscuity during manic episodes. The last woman I was with was like that throughout her teens and into her 20s until she finally got diagnosed and put on meds.Is pisses me off how you blame cheating entirely on Men and deliberately will not acknowledge that women do it to and they do it MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK. |
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CanyonWind
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2006
Posts: 1279
Location: West of the Great Divide
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:15 am Post subject: |
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Just catching up here.
| sinsboldly wrote: | | you know, for years and years I was on the old Yahoo. I was damned straight to hell for answering back some HNG's first IM with a polite 'no, thank you. |
I know what an IM is, but I had to google HNG.
I can understand why you wouldn't want to spend time with the guy if he was a Human Nasal Gland, but I'm sure there are some really decent people in the Hawaii National Guard.
_________________
Folks said
His family were all dead
Planet crumbled but Superman he forced himself to carry on
Forget Krypton and keep going.
-Crash Test Dummies
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7604
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:23 am Post subject: |
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| northern_light_girl wrote: | | D1nk0 wrote: | Here's a fundamental question which Ive been unable to answer myself or get an answer: WHY, yes Why do women play all these social/emotional/mind games? Especially the young ones  Is it because they havent figured out what they want? Is it cuz they often have conflicting impulses and feelings and they're trying not to be too blunt with people? Perhaps a better question is why are women so incredibly dishonest and disingenuous when it comes to relationships..............  |
Nothing more offensive than emotional uncertainty being labeled as "games." If that were true, what could men say of female aspies, who are even more confused about dating etiquette, relationship pacing, emotions etc?
I am baffled when I hear about games, especially since you guys are talking NOT about women that you have known for a while through work or friends...but DATES with NEW girls, whom you didn't know previously. Strangers!!!!!!!! Since when is a series of dates between strangers supposed to leave out any confusion? I don't get it HOW people who've just met can have EXPECTATIONS of one another...could expect the other to be clear on what's going on....after a few dates? Is that person NOT a stranger still? It takes months to scratch the surface and determine if you do like the other ENOUGH to call it a relationship. That's why going into a few dates with HIGH EXPECTATIONS is just not good...take them as dates, as opportunities to get to know the person but don't expect love or committment just yet.
I am not saying some women don't play games. I just want to point out that what to men looks like a game, to a woman it could be uncertainty about how she feels, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE GUY THAT WELL!!!!! What do you do when you don't know the person well, and have mixed feelings? How do you continue to get to know them? Is that a game...if you're interested and want to see if there's more...but then realize there isn't? That's what was good about the old times...there was a courtship period, no rush. People could talk and act decent and not expect too much for a while, THEN decide on a next step. Now, it's all so rushed: today we date, tomorrow you need to know exactly how the other is feeling etc. It's uncomfortable. |
well, she certainly knows what sort of a man HE is now!
Merle |
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simplyhere
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 25, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 67
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 2:55 am Post subject: Something to ponder |
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| More often than not the thing we accuse others of we are just as if not more guilty of. . . |
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jason_b1980
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Posts: 89
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:00 am Post subject: |
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From what I have read, it sounds like she just wanted a nice guy (you) to take her to the party as friends. It also sounds like she is a little naieve, wasn't totally up-front and honest with you, and led you to believe there was a chance, when there wasn't one.
I read somewhere that the majority of women decide if your dating material the first moment they meet you. This isn't 100% true, because things could change between the both of you in the long run, but it's unlikely.
And I agree with everyone, in that women in general, need to say what they mean, and stop playing guessing/mind games. NT men have a difficult time with this as well.
I also read somewhere that a person will attract certain types of people, depending on what type of "vibe" they are putting out. For example, if your a confusing person with a lot of emotional baggage, that don't know what you want, you will attract similar types of people. So, I guess what I am saying is, you have to get yourself squared away, figure out who you are, and what you want before you will attract the types of people you really want to be with.
This post kinda reminds me of this movie I watched awhile back called "Just Friends". It's funny, and talks about the whole "friends zone" thing. I recommend everyone watch it.  |
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northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 141
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 8:46 am Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: |
WTF makes you think it ONLY guys(or even mostly)who engage in impulsive promiscuity and NOT girls???
What up and smell the dogsh1t NLG! Women most certainly DO sleep around When they can and when the feel like it!
I understand that society has a double standard when it comes to promiscuity for men and women but from the young women Ive known AND what Ive read and heard-that doestn seem to stop them from doing it . Furthermore, Bipolar WOMEN are NOTORIOUS for their compulsive promiscuity during manic episodes. The last woman I was with was like that throughout her teens and into her 20s until she finally got diagnosed and put on meds.Is pisses me off how you blame cheating entirely on Men and deliberately will not acknowledge that women do it to and they do it MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK. |
Ok, this is a big misscommunication...
First of all, I'd like to ask you to stop adressing me with WTF. Secondly, I WAS ANSWERING YOUR POST! IN WHICH YOU WERE EXCUSING SOME GUY'S BEHAVIOUR BY SAYING OOOOOOH, HE MUST BE BI-POLAR. I simply tried to explain that "bi-polar" is an excuse as far as I am concerned. I don't know about other people's experiences, I was talking about my own and explaining that the guys I have met were certainly NOT bi-polar and thus could not use this as some excuse for their promiscuity. Ok? It was a REPLY to YOUR point about bi-polar people. I don't think you got what I was saying at all. You keep going at it about women etc...ok did I contradict you there? I was only refering to the bi-polar theme. Of course women are promiscuous too, that was not what my message was even about.
I think I'll take a breather from this topic, it's just silly. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7604
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 11:20 am Post subject: |
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| northern_light_girl wrote: | | D1nk0 wrote: |
WTF makes you think it ONLY guys(or even mostly)who engage in impulsive promiscuity and NOT girls???
What up and smell the dogsh1t NLG! Women most certainly DO sleep around When they can and when the feel like it!
I understand that society has a double standard when it comes to promiscuity for men and women but from the young women Ive known AND what Ive read and heard-that doestn seem to stop them from doing it . Furthermore, Bipolar WOMEN are NOTORIOUS for their compulsive promiscuity during manic episodes. The last woman I was with was like that throughout her teens and into her 20s until she finally got diagnosed and put on meds.Is pisses me off how you blame cheating entirely on Men and deliberately will not acknowledge that women do it to and they do it MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK. |
Ok, this is a big misscommunication...
First of all, I'd like to ask you to stop adressing me with WTF. Secondly, I WAS ANSWERING YOUR POST! IN WHICH YOU WERE EXCUSING SOME GUY'S BEHAVIOUR BY SAYING OOOOOOH, HE MUST BE BI-POLAR. I simply tried to explain that "bi-polar" is an excuse as far as I am concerned. I don't know about other people's experiences, I was talking about my own and explaining that the guys I have met were certainly NOT bi-polar and thus could not use this as some excuse for their promiscuity. Ok? It was a REPLY to YOUR point about bi-polar people. I don't think you got what I was saying at all. You keep going at it about women etc...ok did I contradict you there? I was only refering to the bi-polar theme. Of course women are promiscuous too, that was not what my message was even about.
I think I'll take a breather from this topic, it's just silly. |
k, you have passed from the "oh, wow, our friend D1nk0 is having a rough time of it, let's help him out" to what an ass D1nk0 actually is!'
here is this lovely girl, actually engaging you in conversation. Maybe even an Aspie girl, intelligent, coherent and able to converse knowledgeably with you . . .and you can't see the forest for the trees!
you want to rag on and on about your own predjuices and pet peeves and don't even notice that what you really want. . (remember what you really wanted was a girl to like you? to go to the movies with?) is right in front of you.
but do you take this opportunity to talk to this girl? Do you get to know her, learning how to get to know any other girl in the same way?
No
You rag on her and scream vulgarities and she ultimately thinks you are silly.
so. there ya' go. You wonder why 'all women' are such horrible examples of humanity when the only thing that stays the same in all of your relationships is YOU, D1nk0.
hope you and yourself have a happy life, together.
I'm done, too, NLG. This dude is addicted to rage.
Merle |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: |
here is this lovely girl, actually engaging you in conversation. Maybe even an Aspie girl, intelligent, coherent and able to converse knowledgeably with you . . .and you can't see the forest for the trees!
you want to rag on and on about your own predjuices and pet peeves and don't even notice that what you really want. . (remember what you really wanted was a girl to like you? to go to the movies with?) is right in front of you.but do you take this opportunity to talk to this girl? Do you get to know her, learning how to get to know any other girl in the same way? No.
You rag on her and scream vulgarities and she ultimately thinks you are silly. |
Good grief Merle! In case you havent noticed, WP is NOT an online dating site!  . What on earth makes you think that there was any pretense of courtship??? We were having a DISCUSSION about a specific topic! Just because a Man and a Woman who are mutual strangers are discussing something doesnt mean they're supposed to act like there on a date!
BTW northern_light_girl: you are right-I totally misunderstood what you were implying. I was talking about bipolar PEOPLE and not just bipolar guys. But these things do happen. Im reminded of that book: You just dont understand: Men and Women in coversation |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7604
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: |
here is this lovely girl, actually engaging you in conversation. Maybe even an Aspie girl, intelligent, coherent and able to converse knowledgeably with you . . .and you can't see the forest for the trees!
you want to rag on and on about your own predjuices and pet peeves and don't even notice that what you really want. . (remember what you really wanted was a girl to like you? to go to the movies with?) is right in front of you.but do you take this opportunity to talk to this girl? Do you get to know her, learning how to get to know any other girl in the same way? No.
You rag on her and scream vulgarities and she ultimately thinks you are silly. |
Good grief Merle! In case you havent noticed, WP is NOT an online dating site! . What on earth makes you think that there was any pretense of courtship??? We were having a DISCUSSION about a specific topic! Just because a Man and a Woman who are mutual strangers are discussing something doesnt mean they're supposed to act like there on a date!
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so, dating behaviour is something you 'put on' when you are dating? And when you are having a discussion that is not' on a date' you comport your self differently?
Merle |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | | D1nk0 wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: |
here is this lovely girl, actually engaging you in conversation. Maybe even an Aspie girl, intelligent, coherent and able to converse knowledgeably with you . . .and you can't see the forest for the trees!
you want to rag on and on about your own predjuices and pet peeves and don't even notice that what you really want. . (remember what you really wanted was a girl to like you? to go to the movies with?) is right in front of you.but do you take this opportunity to talk to this girl? Do you get to know her, learning how to get to know any other girl in the same way? No.
You rag on her and scream vulgarities and she ultimately thinks you are silly. |
Good grief Merle! In case you havent noticed, WP is NOT an online dating site! . What on earth makes you think that there was any pretense of courtship??? We were having a DISCUSSION about a specific topic! Just because a Man and a Woman who are mutual strangers are discussing something doesnt mean they're supposed to act like there on a date!
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so, dating behaviour is something you 'put on' when you are dating? And when you are having a discussion that is not' on a date' you comport your self differently?
Merle |
Of COURSE! Just because Im an aspie doe NOT mean that I behave exactly the same way regardless of the occasion or who I happen to be talking to. I think you will find that the VAST MAJORITY of people, even those who arent NT, tend to do so if they have the ability to. |
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Sophist
Professor of Pedantry
Joined: Apr 24, 2005
Posts: 6170
Location: St. Louie
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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Life is a dating site.
_________________
Autism Speaks: The Walmart of the 501c's.
GESTALT: An Autism and Psychology Discussion Forum
http://asdgestalt.com
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Sophist wrote: | | Life is a dating site. |
Sophist, whats your point?
WHY should I assume that whenever I am discussing something in a thread on WP or ANY other kind of discussion forum with a woman of the opposite sex that its a potential date and that by agreeing with her I'll actually increase the chances of *hooking up* with her???There was Nothing that NLG said to even suggest that she participated in this discussion for the sake of picking up men! SHeesh!
I think we know by now that kissing ass to a woman is NOT going to get her to sleep with you if she isnt attracted in the first place. Duh!
Last edited by D1nk0 on Tue May 06, 2008 8:10 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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ford_prefects_kid
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 18, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 392
Location: CA: Los Angeles and Berkeley
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: | | Sophist wrote: | | Life is a dating site. |
Sophist, whats your point?
WHY should I assume that whenever I am discussing something in a thread on WP or ANY other kind of discussion forum with a woman of the opposite sex that its a potential date and that by agreeing with her I'll actually increase the chances of *hooking up* with her???There was Nothing that NLG said to even suggest that she participated in this discussion for the sake of picking up men! SHeesh!
I think we know by now that kissing ass to a woman is NOT going to get her to sleep with you if she isnt attracted in the first place. Duh! |
If you keep rolling your eyes all the time, they'll get stuck that way. |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| ford_prefects_kid wrote: | | D1nk0 wrote: | | Sophist wrote: | | Life is a dating site. |
Sophist, whats your point?
WHY should I assume that whenever I am discussing something in a thread on WP or ANY other kind of discussion forum with a woman of the opposite sex that its a potential date and that by agreeing with her I'll actually increase the chances of *hooking up* with her???There was Nothing that NLG said to even suggest that she participated in this discussion for the sake of picking up men! SHeesh!
I think we know by now that kissing ass to a woman is NOT going to get her to sleep with you if she isnt attracted in the first place. Duh! |
If you keep rolling your eyes all the time, they'll get stuck that way. |
Well.....................Nothing to say FPK? |
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