19 year-old woman.. I think I may have Aspergers?

jeanine · Emu Egg Joined: May 05, 2008 Age: 19 Posts: 3

My whole life I've been "different." Certain textures like papers and things like that irritate me to no end and I have to wash my hands or use hand sanitizer to remove the sensation. I've never really had a whole lot of friends and was always "different" during school, though I never really understood why. I got made fun of a little, and always ended up hanging out with the "nerds" even though I didn't even fit in with them. I love numbers, dates, things like that. I'm a bank teller and I can't help but always notice things about people's birthdays and SSNs that most other people wouldn't, "oh, if you add the last two digits of your social to the third, you get the first two numbers. Neat!" Response: ".....Can I have my money?" I love the serial numbers on bills and get very excited whenever I get two in that are consecutive. I commonly read peoples' account numbers as "123456" and process them as "123465" or something like that. I have a hard time keeping friends. Any friends I used to have are long gone, and our relationships have been reduced to emails about how we need to hang out, but no definitive plans. I love words, one of my favorite parts of school was learning etymology. I've always wanted to write but I find that I have a very hard time developing a story. I've always felt that if someone gave me characters and plots I could write an amazing story because I've studied how people act down to a T. Speaking is problematic for me as I constantly jumble up words, stutter, etc. As a child I saw a speech therapist for a lisp.

I'm also very uncomfortable around people, though at work it is very easy to make myself act as though every member I see at work is a long lost best friend who I can't wait to help. I hate parties, I hate meeting new people. I'm very happy to stay at home with my boyfriend and play with our pets. My whole life I've found things to collect. When I was young, sugar packets and jewelry boxes. As I've grown I've collected movie stubs, an old friend's lighter wrapper who I haven't even talked to in years, tarantulas, and any random little thing I find that makes me happy. This drives my boyfriend nuts because he is a neatfreak and I like to save EVERYTHING. I love to take pictures of things like bugs and people, but can't draw for the life of me. People see me as the "artistic" type even though I can't make any art. When I was 12 I was institutionalized for suicidal tendencies and running away, and when I found out that they were planning on admitting me I flipped out and beat my head on the desk and pulled out my hair until someone confronted me about it and told me that that wasn't the type of behavior that was going to get me out of there. After that comment I kept my chin up and tried to act normal so I could get out.

Long story short, I've always been "weird" but never really understood why. My teachers in school have always considered me prodigal, and yet I barely graduated from High School. I was a spelling master from the age of 8. I enjoyed reading the dictionary when I was 11. I get along best with people old enough to be my parents. I can hardly stand people my age. People my age make me incredibly uncomfortable, especially girls.

I took some online test about aspergers and it gave me this:
Your Aspie score: 143 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Is this something you think I should look into? I'm a functional adult in a wonderful relationship. I have a good job that pays me well that I would do for free. I feel like a diagnosis would bring some closure. I've always asked myself why I'm so different...