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paolo
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Italy
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 Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:22 am Post subject: Inability to love |
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Inability to read social cues is what stays in the road of affection and bonds. So many of us are alone, feel unprotected and unattached. If you feel unattached you also plunge in an increasing abyss of detachment. Why do you have to care for what happens in the world? It’s not a philosophical conclusion or reasoning, it’s an emotional consequence of feeling abandoned . The world leaves you and you leave the world, lose interest in events.
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Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 6837
Location: The Emerald Forest
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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sim, eu compreendo. Eu quero gritar para você, para mim e para tudo que compreende como nós .
Merle
in English:
yes, I understand. I want to cry for you, for me and for all that understand as we do. |
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sgrannel
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 439
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:03 pm Post subject: |
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Portuguese? Here's something you two might appreciate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_klppfz2gk
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You should get to know me better. No one's ever what they seem.-- Shirley Manson |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 10693
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:27 pm Post subject: Re: Inability to love |
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| paolo wrote: | | Inability to read social cues is what stays in the road of affection and bonds. So many of us are alone, feel unprotected and unattached. If you feel unattached you also plunge in an increasing abyss of detachment. Why do you have to care for what happens in the world? It’s not a philosophical conclusion or reasoning, it’s an emotional consequence of feeling abandoned . The world leaves you and you leave the world, lose interest in events. |
Wow, that's exactly how I feel and what I've gone through. Not having the ability to respond to some of the misconstrued cues. It does feel like an abyss as I do feel detached to the human race of complexities. I think fears and rejections are large part of it since it can go the other way around. Not having the ability to express what I feel externally on the outside and consequently getting no or small connections to those around me.
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Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire the Cat
6thSin:Envy |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 6837
Location: The Emerald Forest
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 12:41 am Post subject: |
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I remember thinking that I if they wanted to, other people could give me the love I craved. I remember thinking that they. . all of them, no one exception, but all the people I had ever met in my life must had decided to withhold their healing love from me.
well, it finally got around to my consciousness that if every person I had ever met had had more or less same reaction to me. . .maybe it wasn't them, maybe it was ME!
I couldn't feel the love they were giving. I wonder, is this the missing link of my inability to bond with people?
That thought alone gave me pause.
Merle |
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jawbrodt
Only Truth
Joined: Jan 27, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 5003
Location: Northcentral, Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: Re: Inability to love |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | paolo wrote: | | Inability to read social cues is what stays in the road of affection and bonds. So many of us are alone, feel unprotected and unattached. If you feel unattached you also plunge in an increasing abyss of detachment. Why do you have to care for what happens in the world? It’s not a philosophical conclusion or reasoning, it’s an emotional consequence of feeling abandoned . The world leaves you and you leave the world, lose interest in events. |
Wow, that's exactly how I feel and what I've gone through. Not having the ability to respond to some of the misconstrued cues. It does feel like an abyss as I do feel detached to the human race of complexities. I think fears and rejections are large part of it since it can go the other way around. Not having the ability to express what I feel externally on the outside and consequently getting no or small connections to those around me. |
Same here. 
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Those who speak, don't know.
Those who know, don't speak. |
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aspergian_mutant
Learning to Walk
Joined: Oct 28, 2004
Posts: 1403
Location: Lost in Inner Space
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 10:15 am Post subject: |
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I know this is of no real help,
one thing I have learned and seen is that if you know someone from a vary young age
(like that of me and my child) they are like a new book,
you get to know and see the pages as they are added,
you get to KNOW them and how they respond and feel,
this makes it much easer to empathies with them and read them.
where with others they are a big thick book that they seem to hide behind
by keeping much of them selves protected and behind lock and key making it much harder to read them.
But yes, I can relate to what the posts above are saying,
it seems my ex-g could never relate to my feelings or see them,
and I just gone by what I felt and hoped she felt the same,
but that was wrong judgement on my part,
seems she hated my guts and I didn't know it,
and it seems the rest of the world is so damn cold and un-empathetic.
and yes I also sometimes feel that way, as in,
why should I care if others don't, unattached and abandoned,
from and on the wrong planet.
.
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"No matter where you go, there you are." |
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Roark
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 30, 2008
Posts: 13
Location: Philadelphia
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| Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 12:17 am Post subject: |
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wow, what a depressing thread, but I have to concur
The only women I have ever dated seriously in my life (a whopping 3 at age 33) I knew as friends before we started to date. Unless it was a drunken hookup where social interaction is dulled by alcohol, I have had such a problem reading women in the dating world. Same with guy friends, the ones that became friends I got to know over time, but so many people whom I meet initially I rub the wrong way for one reason or another...
Sure can be frustrating and lonely. |
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paolo
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 8:44 am Post subject: |
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Here is an amusing cartoon which made me think:
The two guys succeed communicating, because their thoughts fit together like pieces of a puzzle. What's necessary here? That the pieces fit together from the start, or that they are made to fit as the result of an effort ? Or perhaps it's all the result of a chance? Selective affinities? The cartoon is open to various interpretations. It's not taken from AutismSpeaks. |
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TrueDave
is learning the hard way.
Joined: Jul 28, 2007
Posts: 1062
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know. i just don't know.
What to think, what to believe, what to refuse about all this.
I think the puzzle pieces were already made to fit by the way.
We can get along with some one a bit by trimming our piece but its still a wobbly fit and a wobbly interaction. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 6837
Location: The Emerald Forest
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:52 am Post subject: |
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| paolo wrote: | Here is an amusing cartoon which made me think:
The two guys succeed communicating, because their thoughts fit together like pieces of a puzzle. What's necessary here? That the pieces fit together from the start, or that they are made to fit as the result of an effort ? Or perhaps it's all the result of a chance? Selective affinities? The cartoon is open to various interpretations. It's not taken from AutismSpeaks. |
what I saw immediately was it was the same stamped piece, but they are cojoined upside down |
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Age: 48
Posts: 3666
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
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that looks gay to me 
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I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
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paolo
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: |
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| BazzaMcKenzie wrote: | | that looks gay |
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This poses a serious problem. How much of stable ralstionships between humans, straight or gay, is supported by sexual attraction? I think much. This might even be a subject of another thread. Many AS here, who have not succeded in their life to maintain stable relationships, are married or have sex mates. |
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sartresue
Radical Aspergian
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 1965
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 10:52 am Post subject: Inability to love |
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The puzzle of love topic
Having children is the extent of my 'love'.
Mature adult love I have never fathomed.But I do not feel any loss because this is never something I have ever experienced. Love blind, I guess. 
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Radical Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind
Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 6837
Location: The Emerald Forest
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: |
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| BazzaMcKenzie wrote: | | that looks gay to me |
BAZZA!
I think it is Bo Decker and Cherie 
Merle
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"it takes a special type of person to complain about what they get for free."
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