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Speckles
Velociraptor
Joined: May 03, 2008
Posts: 441
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 Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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Well, it is possible he's just a dick. I just doubt it, since I have only met one teacher through my entire education who was truly horrible, and since I hadn't been diagnosed with anything at the time I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. But just because I've never really encountered one doesn't mean they don't exist.
In my experience, the one's who ignored me were the worst, since they were the ones least likely to give me extra help. The pushy ones who doubted my disability and were nasty intially have been the best for me, since once won over they will often bend over backwards to try to help me.
But, I have been good at winning teachers over for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why, and find it hard to believe, but I have been told this by many sources. So maybe it's just me.
I'm glad you found some of my advise helpful. Some of it took a few years to figure out, and that's with a councellor that didn't suck! Hopefully this will let you skip some of the trial and error I had to go through  |
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beau99
B.S. Detector
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Joined: Nov 06, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 1302
Location: A cruel H*llhole called Earth.
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: |
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| RainSong wrote: | | beau99 wrote: | | YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. |
Of course I'm serious. Since when does being different give you the right to be the only one considered? |
What are you talking about?
I got nothing like that from the OP.
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My site: Thoughts of an Autistic (updated May 20, 2008)
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greenblue
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Joined: Mar 26, 2007
Posts: 7615
Location: Home
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:16 am Post subject: |
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I agree with RainSong.
The teacher was having a hard time as well and he was probably feeling stressed by that situation and probably somehow desperate, now, I don't think this is an easy thing for him or any teacher to handle, is it? so I wouldn't be so hard on him, and as RainSong said, likely you should take some responsability about what happened, and not blaming everything on him.
Teachers are human beings too.
If I was the teacher in that situation I wouldn't know what to do, and I would probably have a meltdown myself as well 
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We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake. -Erich Fromm |
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Sorenna
Sea Gull
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 232
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:49 pm Post subject: Teachers |
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Edited.
Last edited by Sorenna on Thu May 15, 2008 1:56 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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PunkyKat
Phoenix
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 563
Location: Twlight Zone
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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| If that were my teacher, I'd smack them. Really I would. Just because they are an authority figure does not mean I have to respect them. They must earn my respect. |
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greenblue
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Joined: Mar 26, 2007
Posts: 7615
Location: Home
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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| PunkyKat wrote: | | They must earn my respect. |
Why?
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We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake. -Erich Fromm |
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Warsie
HMFIC G Representin' Da South Side of Chi-Town
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1364
Location: Chicago, IL USA
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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| greenblue wrote: | | PunkyKat wrote: | | They must earn my respect. |
Why? |
Isn't the same logic applied in an opposite fashion?
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9/11 was an inside job
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Teoka
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 23, 2007
Posts: 128
Location: Northern VA
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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| greenblue wrote: | I agree with RainSong.
The teacher was having a hard time as well and he was probably feeling stressed by that situation and probably somehow desperate, now, I don't think this is an easy thing for him or any teacher to handle, is it? so I wouldn't be so hard on him, and as RainSong said, likely you should take some responsability about what happened, and not blaming everything on him.
Teachers are human beings too.
If I was the teacher in that situation I wouldn't know what to do, and I would probably have a meltdown myself as well |
Is this supposed to excuse him from demeaning me in front of my peers?
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| C | O | S | P | L | A | Y |
My Anti-Drug
Aspie score: 159 out of 200 |
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westernwild
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 236
Location: The wild, wild West
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| nontrivial wrote: | Teoka - I'm going to take what will probably be an unpopular stance here and say that I have to side with your teacher and your school on this one. I'm not saying that you deserved to be humiliated in front of your classmates, or that your teacher handled the situation as well as he possibly could. But if you want to go to a regular school and live among the NTs, you have to be prepared to work with people who don't understand your condition. You can't shut down and stop cooperating when someone is unable to address a situation in the particular way you want it addressed.
As an Aspie who wants to be a teacher (and has taught a few classes with younger students), I can tell you that having a crying student in class makes it impossible for a teacher to conduct class effectively. Whether you think other people care or not (and it sounds like some did in your situation, thank goodness), this creates a distraction for the other students and for the teacher. It sounds to me like Crawford tried to remedy the situation in the most natural way possible, which was to have you go see your counselor. (If I'd known that you didn't like your counselor, I might have simply asked if you wanted to step outside for a few minutes, but teachers in some schools don't have that option - school rules. And I would guess Crawford didn't know that you don't like your counselor.) You weren't doing your work anyway, so he probably wondered what the point was in keeping you in class. And he probably felt he was doing you a favor - a lot of students don't like to be seen crying in class. I know I didn't when I was a kid.
I don't know what you mean by "making an example" of him - for all I know, you could be thinking lawsuit - but I would ask you to try to see things from the school's perspective and the teacher's perspective. A school can have thousands of students (and a teacher hundreds), each of whom has a different neurological/psychological situation. Since we've learned about lots of different mood disorders, learning disabilities, etc. in the last few decades, more and more students are getting diagnosed - and that means more IEPs for the teachers to deal with. We can ask teachers to be sensitive and to use their best judgment, but we can't reasonably expect any teacher to be fully familiar with the entire cornucopia of disorders that are out there - especially AS, which means different things to virtually every person who has it. Similarly, we can ask schools to try to provide safer environments for people with neurological disorders (special classes, alternative campuses), or we can ask them to give us the chance to try to go to school with the general population - but we can't expect them to be "tolerant" of us when we disrupt classes and prevent other students from learning. Again, I know you thought you weren't much of a disruption... but as a teacher who has had students have meltdowns in his class, I've never seen a meltdown that wasn't disruptive.
It sounds like your teacher didn't handle the situation in the most sensitive way possible, and for that he's partly culpable, but I don't think that going to war against this guy is going to help things at all. |
Well, my parents were teachers for nearly forty years, and they would never, ever have handled this situation as badly as this idiot teacher did. He made it much worse, he was the one who escalated it and his contempt and disdain for "different" individuals was quite clear. My teenage son is AS and I know full well how badly most schools handle it and how much they expect everyone to just be the same.
The teacher is the adult and the professional. He/she is supposed to be the one to handle such things in a mature, respectful manner and to know how to calmly and professionally react when students have difficulties such as this. He did neither and was extremely childish, petty and disrespectul. His continually calling attention to the situation was what escalated it. He should have left well enough alone, as chances are, most students weren't paying much attention anyway until he himself called attention to it. Most students get used to such things and aren't quite as distracted or shocked as a lot of teachers and admins seem to think.
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Queen of the anti-FAAAS. FAAAS does NOT speak for me and many other families!!
Life is not about waiting out storms, but learning to dance in the rain-Anonymous |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 20855
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates, somewhere in Canada :O)
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: |
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Another thing that I hate, about society. 
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Sid The Rat is everything that I stand for. We're both large, proud Punkers with Cockney accents. We both have the same issues, as well. I don't see anything wrong, with that. I was put on this planet, to make myself happy. Sid :O) |
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westernwild
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 236
Location: The wild, wild West
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 10:40 am Post subject: |
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| greenblue wrote: | I agree with RainSong.
The teacher was having a hard time as well and he was probably feeling stressed by that situation and probably somehow desperate, now, I don't think this is an easy thing for him or any teacher to handle, is it? so I wouldn't be so hard on him, and as RainSong said, likely you should take some responsability about what happened, and not blaming everything on him.
Teachers are human beings too.
If I was the teacher in that situation I wouldn't know what to do, and I would probably have a meltdown myself as well |
I'm from a family of educators and teachers are trained to handle such things. They are the trained professional ADULTS and this teacher did not act like either a professional or an adult. Period.
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Queen of the anti-FAAAS. FAAAS does NOT speak for me and many other families!!
Life is not about waiting out storms, but learning to dance in the rain-Anonymous |
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greenblue
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Joined: Mar 26, 2007
Posts: 7615
Location: Home
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Teoka wrote: | | greenblue wrote: | I agree with RainSong.
The teacher was having a hard time as well and he was probably feeling stressed by that situation and probably somehow desperate, now, I don't think this is an easy thing for him or any teacher to handle, is it? so I wouldn't be so hard on him, and as RainSong said, likely you should take some responsability about what happened, and not blaming everything on him.
Teachers are human beings too.
If I was the teacher in that situation I wouldn't know what to do, and I would probably have a meltdown myself as well |
Is this supposed to excuse him from demeaning me in front of my peers? |
Of course not, if he was disrespectful to you, then he has some of the blame, but according from what you told, it is about the way of him handling things rather than asking you to leave or to go to see you counselour, and frankly, wanting him to accept that you didn't like the counselour, doesn't seem that it works with any teacher, however they could handle things in a more appropriate way, so is it ALL his fault? I wouldn't think so.
The thing that I see in this thread is the hate towards the teacher from some posts here, like he is an evil bastard that doesn't deserve a chance or the job, and that without really knowing the situation, I really don't know the person and the situation to really tell, but I think of the great possibility of this being unfairness here on BOTH sides.
You were having a meltdown and you were disrupting the class, I get that you were suffering and I am sorry about that, but you should acknowledge and admit that.
I try the give people the benefit of the doubt, I admit I fail to do so sometimes.
I'm also glad that some posters here have given a more fair thought about this.
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We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake. -Erich Fromm
Last edited by greenblue on Sun May 18, 2008 11:29 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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greenblue
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Joined: Mar 26, 2007
Posts: 7615
Location: Home
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Warsie wrote: | | greenblue wrote: | | PunkyKat wrote: | | They must earn my respect. |
Why? |
Isn't the same logic applied in an opposite fashion? |
I am not taking sides here actually. Just trying to see the fair amount of fault here.
And the "respect must be earned" thing is wrong, everybody deserves respect, respect is reciprocal.
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We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake. -Erich Fromm |
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westernwild
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 236
Location: The wild, wild West
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 8:35 am Post subject: |
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| greenblue wrote: | | Warsie wrote: | | greenblue wrote: | | PunkyKat wrote: | | They must earn my respect. |
Why? |
Isn't the same logic applied in an opposite fashion? |
I am not taking sides here actually. Just trying to see the fair amount of fault here.
And the "respect must be earned" thing is wrong, everybody deserves respect, respect is reciprocal. |
People don't automatically "deserve" respect. If they don't act respectfully to others, then they have no right to demand or expect respect themselves. This teachers was totally disrespectful and out of line. My parents were teachers for forty years, with no SE training, and they would be absolutely appalled at this idiot teacher's behavior. They knew how to handle such things in a calm, professional manner that cooled things down and also helped the student. This teacher, however, continually stirred things up when he should have known better. He is the one 90% at fault here and does not deserve any respect.
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Queen of the anti-FAAAS. FAAAS does NOT speak for me and many other families!!
Life is not about waiting out storms, but learning to dance in the rain-Anonymous |
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RainSong
The Argumentive Lunatic
Joined: May 02, 2006
Posts: 4188
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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| westernwild wrote: | | People don't automatically "deserve" respect. If they don't act respectfully to others, then they have no right to demand or expect respect themselves. This teachers was totally disrespectful and out of line. |
Why is this a problem then? According to you, she doesn't "deserve" respect any more than she does. They were both disrespectful to the other.
Beau99, I get that from her original post. She talks about her feelings and needs, but she ignored the rest of the class and how they could have felt. If there is more than one student, regardless of how "normal" or "different" each is, multiple students should be considered. The feelings of one cannot triumph the feelings of the rest.
Really, the amount of finger pointing and whining on this thread is absurd. I fail to understand why some people (not including Teoka; since she was there, I can see how she would be emotional about it) seem to feel so strongly about it.
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