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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 10851
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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 Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 3:33 pm Post subject: Who's Just a Girl Who Can't Say No? |
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You know the kind that feels obligated to say yes to things even though they really don't want to do them.
I'm learning to overcome this b/c I didn't know that the word NO meant just that. I didn't want to look mean by saying no to the other person but now I'm learning that No isn't always a bad thing to say.
(Men are included too, I just thought the title was catchy.)
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Chibi_Neko
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 26
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Location: Newfoundland, Canada
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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One of my younger cousins is, she has two babies because of it.
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Prof_Pretorius
troubled Soul
Joined: Aug 21, 2006
Age: 50
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Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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(I thought this was, ahem, a different topic.)
But, since you asked...
Yes, I have a bloody awful time saying 'no' to people asking me for things. The Missus is always reminding me that I can ask her to stop off and run an errand, that I don't have to do everything meself. Something about wanting everybody to like me, or somesuch nonsense.
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Willard
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 568
Location: Confederate States of America
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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I usually just keep changing the subject until they get frustrated and go away.
I told this story in another thread a few days ago, but it's applicable here: Had a friend once who simply would not understand that he was dropping by waaay too much and staying waaay too long and it was not appreciated. Finally hung one of those Mom&Pop country store signs on my door that said "Sorry, We're Closed." When he showed up and began banging on my door, I simply refused to answer. For over half an hour he stood there knocking and calling out (my car was in the drive). I felt like a real jerk, but hinting hadn't had any effect at all. He finally got the message, though. Good Times.
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 3571
Location: On a retrograde asteroid
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Willard wrote: | I usually just keep changing the subject until they get frustrated and go away.
I told this story in another thread a few days ago, but it's applicable here: Had a friend once who simply would not understand that he was dropping by waaay too much and staying waaay too long and it was not appreciated. Finally hung one of those Mom&Pop country store signs on my door that said "Sorry, We're Closed." When he showed up and began banging on my door, I simply refused to answer. For over half an hour he stood there knocking and calling out (my car was in the drive). I felt like a real jerk, but hinting hadn't had any effect at all. He finally got the message, though. Good Times. |
I've also seen a doormat for sale, in a novelty catalog, which reads, "Oh, sh**! Not you again!"
Except I wouldn't use it, because I wouldn't want to say that to everyone, just some people.
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 10851
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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Now there's an idea. ROFL
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 3571
Location: On a retrograde asteroid
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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As to saying "No," it's actually gotten easier, with my dx of AS. I have actually started to tell people that I need to process their request, and get back to them. Of course, most NTs will think that I am just saying "No" in a fancy way, and hastily back off. 
My next door neighbor knows about the AS. Once, she asked me if I would feed her cats while she was away. When I said that about processing, she understood, and later came back to tell me that another neighbor could do all but four days. This I gladly agreed to, since I realized that I wasn't comfortable with the whole ten days in question. Before, I would agree to stuff, that really needed to be thought over first. And hate myself for it.
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Purplefluffychainsaw
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 28, 2005
Age: 19
Posts: 339
Location: Oxford
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:48 am Post subject: |
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Never, never. I've got into real trouble for it too. I almost ruined the best chance in life when someone asked me to do something I shouldn't have, and I couldn't say no to him. =____= My boyfriend's helping me get better at it though, and now I don't really talk to people outside my set friendship group things aren't too bad.
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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 3729
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 10:46 am Post subject: |
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I used to be really agreeable and do whatever people asked just to please them. I've been in some bad situations because of it...and man, at the time I wished I had just said No right from the beginning. Although now, I stand up for myself and my beliefs. My mother actually thinks I am really stubborn compared to how I was when I was younger. I guess it's better than being taken advantage of.
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Lurv
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 215
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Sometimes I worry too much, and might have trouble saying no, but it depends. I can be really stubborn too. |
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ford_prefects_kid
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 18, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 384
Location: CA: Los Angeles and Berkeley
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I tend to say: "Oh, well....I guess...um, if you really want me to...I mean...well...I dunno, I...could be ok, I suppose...mmm.." while thinking, Oh for the love of Christ please take the request back and release me from this awkward feeling, please please please please....
If the request-maker is not a mind-reader and cannot pick up on the limited non-verbal cues that I am consciously trying to exhibit, the stammering will turn into a quiet, "yeah, that's fine." |
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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I love saying NONONONONONONO!  Too bad if you don't like it
I'll be nice of course, but the message is clear!
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Willard wrote: | I usually just keep changing the subject until they get frustrated and go away.
I told this story in another thread a few days ago, but it's applicable here: Had a friend once who simply would not understand that he was dropping by waaay too much and staying waaay too long and it was not appreciated. Finally hung one of those Mom&Pop country store signs on my door that said "Sorry, We're Closed." When he showed up and began banging on my door, I simply refused to answer. For over half an hour he stood there knocking and calling out (my car was in the drive). I felt like a real jerk, but hinting hadn't had any effect at all. He finally got the message, though. Good Times. |
Are you still friends?
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"You can do the math a thousand way, but you can't undo the past"
From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead' |
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pineapple
Deinonychus
Joined: May 01, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 356
Location: san francisco
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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I have SO much trouble saying no. I'm working on it.
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Go here, be asexy------> http://theonepercentclub.blogspot.com |
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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No! I dislike this board and I refuse to talk here anymore
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"You can do the math a thousand way, but you can't undo the past"
From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead' |
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