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eddiedog8
a man works in a sweet shop what does he weigh?
Joined: Aug 02, 2007
Age: 9
Posts: 1278
Location: not in my house not in my street not in my shool but in my own world
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 Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| Smelena wrote: | One of the stupid jokes my friends and I used to do at high-school was go up to a boy and say,
"Wanna screw?"
Then hand them a screw.
Pretty bad, but at the time we thought we were hilarious.
Helen |
super lol!
_________________
(.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.)
i love quite places and i h8 inside trains i h8 boring stuff
you have a problem with that?
http://aspiesplanet.slarti3.myfreeforum.org/ <--visit it ty |
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DeaconBlues
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide - call me...
Joined: Apr 22, 2007
Posts: 1485
Location: Earth, mostly
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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At Denny's: "How would you like your eggs cooked?"
"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks!"
Legend tells of a time at a sci-fi convention when famed author Harlan Ellison (who stands about 5' 2") came up to an attractive woman and asked her point-blank, "What would you say to a little f*ck?"
She looked down at him and replied, "Hello, little f*ck."
_________________
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word. - Robert A. Heinlein |
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MartyMoose
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 650
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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"I hope nobody ever asks me to show them the ropes, I have no Idea where they are"
-George Carlin |
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DJRnold
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 25, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 481
Location: Barrie, Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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Them: What's up?
Me: The sky
Them: What's up?
Me: Your blood pressure
Them: What's up?
Me: The opposite of down |
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MartyMoose
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 650
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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| DJRnold wrote: | Them: What's up?
Me: The sky
Them: What's up?
Me: Your blood pressure
Them: What's up?
Me: The opposite of sown |
what is a sown |
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MartyMoose
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 650
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| DJRnold wrote: | Them: What's up?
Me: The sky
Them: What's up?
Me: Your blood pressure
Them: What's up?
Me: The opposite of down |
Hows it hanging?
Loosely to the left |
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MartyMoose
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 650
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:12 pm Post subject: |
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"A woman told me she had a yeast infection, well bake me a F*ckin loaf of bread!"
-George Carlin |
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syzygyish
Dada Dodo
Joined: Feb 04, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 4024
Location: waiting for IF
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 4:05 am Post subject: |
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Them: "How you going?"
Me: "Bipedally, at the moment."
_________________
"Genius is the ability to recall childhood at will"
I always thought that guy that said "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" was full of it! |
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TallyMan
Ghost in the machine
Joined: Mar 31, 2008
Age: 148
Posts: 5276
Location: Everywhere, nowhere and everywhen
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 7:24 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps not funny in the retelling, but a couple of weeks ago I took the dogs to the kennels before going on holiday. I was presented with a form to complete and alongside the question "Food?" I just put "Yes". The kennel owner found this amusing then asked me to elaborate with quantity, type and when to feed. Duh! Why didn't they pose the question like that  |
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Thecodonts
Butterfly
Joined: May 22, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.
Literal jokes.... Oh, I thought you meant littoral jokes. |
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Alaspi
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Posts: 930
Location: Seattle
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| Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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do you have a moment? ... Many!
_________________
...WHALE |
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firelily
Hummingbird
Joined: May 09, 2008
Age: 32
Posts: 20
Location: Asia
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 11:52 pm Post subject: |
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a friend's college application form (first draft!)
name: X.Y.
sex: yes please |
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deadpanhead
Velociraptor
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Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 424
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:51 am Post subject: |
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What is green, fuzzy, weighs 750 pounds and will kill you if it falls on you from a tree?
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...a pool table! |
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syzygyish
Dada Dodo
Joined: Feb 04, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 4024
Location: waiting for IF
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:07 am Post subject: |
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also a sloth that weighs 750 pounds
...my wookie denies that he's green with envy...
hey, if you don't have friends, 
_________________
"Genius is the ability to recall childhood at will"
I always thought that guy that said "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" was full of it! |
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deadpanhead
Velociraptor
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Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 424
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: |
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You gots friends Syzygyish, and that's no joke of any kind. 
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
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..................a fsh! |
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