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Confused

 
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Semi_Lost_Serenity
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Jun 01, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 157
Location: Insanity

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:33 am    Post subject: Confused Reply with quote

I want a boyfriend, but want my space. I don't like being touched too much and much rather prefer my space.

However, I want a boyfriend. I just don't want to have to deal with another person (am I selfish or what?).

I like the idea of a boyfriend, but it never works out in reality.

I like control and being in control at all times.

I have obvious difficulties. I am slow with my speech and thoughts (autism and APD), have anxiety issues (which causes the attention issues). I don't deal well with stress. I have diabetes, asthma, anemia, and a minor heart condition. Any poor dude I wind up dating will have to not only memorize my entire health history (in case I faint or get sick), but will have to memorize all my medications, my diet regiment, and what to do in case of an emergency. That's a lot to ask of anyone. Most guys don't even have to worry about these issues - 99% of the female population is normal and in excellent health.

Not to mention my lack of interest in sex. There again, I am at war with myself.

It feels like two sides of me are at war with one another. I do and don't. I am and I am not. I want to, but I don't want to. You get the picture.

It doesn't help that, in the back of my mind, that I had this dream when I was 9 about my future soul mate being blown apart in a war (never mind that I can't keep a relationship now and always wind up dating duds who think they can take advantage of me because I converse slowly!).

I just feel so exhausted - I'm graduating and moving to Florida to look for full-time employment. I will have time on my hands and no idea what to do with myself.

I am sure that others feel the same as I do? Or what?

Note: I have to laugh at myself. I have so many more important worries than this. Just for whatever reason, it's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm trying to get these thoughts to go away so I can concentrate on more important topics (like getting through this last paper, presentation, and exams lol)
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"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." Robert Frost
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Linesman2008
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker


Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 53
Location: Oxfordshire, UK

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like how you do, that I have too many issues and problems for anyone to be interested...and that seems to be bourne out in reality too i`m afraid. I wish I could say something more helpful. Confused
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AussieAspie
Hummingbird
Hummingbird


Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 20
Location: Planet Earth Sometimes

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think both of you need to sort out your stress and emotional issues, before even considering a relationship because those issues like not wanting to be touched etc will not go down to well with any nornal or other guy. Bring those stresses into a relationship and its a recipie for disaster. Also I think you need to think deeply about just what it is you want out of a relationship. If its going to be a non physical, not too much conversation kind of thing, then maybe try some sort of therapy instead.

Sorry if this seems too critical, but I have had experience with similar ladies and It never worked out for me either. Just trying to answer your genuine questions honestly.
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Velociraptor


Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 416
Location: San Antonio, Texas

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You might also look for a more platonic relationship.
Not all guys are sex crazy, just look for a guy that isn't looking to get into your pants.
In regards to being "in control", might want to work on that one. Nobody likes feeling like they are "owned" or "controlled".
If you don't like being touched, perhaps you can find a guy (probably the same guy that doesn't really care so much about sex) that also isn't as physically inclined. Maybe he makes up for it with great conversational skills, or the ability to keep the jokes rolling.

Lots more a relationship than the touchy-feely things.
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BigK
Raven
Raven


Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Many couples live happily for decades only seeing each other at weekends.

Finding the person who is right for you may take time but they will never be found if you don't start looking.

You don't need to worry about what most guys will like or be able to deal with because you only need to find ONE.

It may not be easy to find the right one but it will be worth it when you do.
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