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More Ugly now then ever before
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Usagi1992
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 309

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:29 pm    Post subject: More Ugly now then ever before Reply with quote

Hey there.... *sighs*

Remember how I was in the hospital 4 weeks ago for reconstructive bowel surgery? Well, ever since being released, I've had a lot of complications; the most obvious one being that since 3 weeks ago, I've been leaking blood and gunk out of various spots along my surgery scar.

But two Saturdays ago, the biggest blow came when I went to have a proper shower for the first time in 3 weeks. I had to remove my bandages before stepping in, and when I looked at my reflection in the mirror...I noticed a small hole in my stomach, which was oozing gunk. That upset me, because I wondered what if everything else heals up except this? I'm always gonna have a dimple!

Well, that was actually the LEAST of my worries! Since then, the dimple grew, and an even bigger one appeared above that one, until only a small flap of skin separated them. But last Monday was the hardest blow of all; my surgeon who performed the reconstructive surgery decided to snip that flap to 'help the healing process'...but now, I have a GASH!! A large, gaping, obvious 1-inch long gash on my stomach right above my navel! My doctors all say it's not as bad as I perceive it, but it's the width of the gash that worries me: about a quarter of an inch wide. I worry that it's never gonna close up again...

And now, I finally reach my point as to why I'm posting this; because as of now, in my own eyes, I'm realizing that my chances of ever finding a woman that can accept these scars of mine as nil. Even though they don't want to admit it, I think women are a superficial lot. If you aren't physically perfect, they don't even wanna talk to you for more then 5 minutes.

Now, I do realize that I shouldn't be so disparaging to myself, because I know there are dozens, if not hundreds of men out there who are actually missing a major LIMB, yet they still have a mate who loves them. But missing limbs you never see again; scars are ALWAYS there to remind you that you USED to be perfect, but not anymore. So therefore, I'm going to save myself the humiliation, and swear before all of you WP members here, that I will be a bachelor for the rest of my days...

For as of now...I am too ugly to love.

(Note: I said 'love', not 'live'. I still wish to continue living, if only to find little happy distractions to take my mind off the mental pain.)
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lelia
Pika


Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Age: 56
Posts: 1507
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Recovery can be a discouraging time.
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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker


Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 57
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, thats nothing, here look at my battle scars (opens his shirt and shows you a big one).

so don't let that little scar get you down.


Last edited by 1 on Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:22 pm; edited 2 times in total
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flailure
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Posts: 633
Location: my office

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:20 pm    Post subject: Re: More Ugly now then ever before Reply with quote

Usagi1992 wrote:
Even though they don't want to admit it, I think women are a superficial lot. If you aren't physically perfect, they don't even wanna talk to you for more then 5 minutes.

Now, I do realize that I shouldn't be so disparaging to myself, because I know there are dozens, if not hundreds of men out there who are actually missing a major LIMB, yet they still have a mate who loves them. But missing limbs you never see again; scars are ALWAYS there to remind you that you USED to be perfect, but not anymore. So therefore, I'm going to save myself the humiliation, and swear before all of you WP members here, that I will be a bachelor for the rest of my days...

Wow, what a pile of superficial whiny horse crap. Dude, I understand that you're feeling crappy after your surgery, but damn. Ask any woman, you were never perfect, and your attitude toward them would make you undesirable even if you were Brad Pitt's clone. But comparing your imperfections with someone who has lost a limb... holy freakin hell.

My wife loves me despite MY surgery scars, my AS, my baggage from my previous marriage, my mood swings, my guitar obsession, my weight gain, acid reflux, and restrictive diet due to celiac disease, my freakin' smell when I sweat. She loves me for who I am and never gave a rat's backside about any of the other crap. How dare you call her superficial???

Check your attitude. It's horrid. Lose it.
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krex
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 45
Posts: 4995
Location: Village of the Damned

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know this is the haven and is for support and not criticism but you are on your way to body dysmorphic disorder. Women do not care about a one inch scar and the ones who would are not worth your bother. I am sad to think you really have such a low opinion of all women. Believe me, most are more concerned with their own imperfections to worry about a guys. What they are more likely to reject you fr is being so superficial yourself to assume that anyone is perfect or that a physical imperfection has anything to do with the value of a person.


It really appears to me that you are using this as an excuse for why you might be rejected(instead of looking at real problems that may get you rejected) or to avoid taking any chance on a relationship where you might get hurt. At least be honest with yourself.
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Usagi1992
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 309

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:09 pm    Post subject: Re: More Ugly now then ever before Reply with quote

flailure wrote:


My wife loves me despite MY surgery scars, my AS, my baggage from my previous marriage, my mood swings, my guitar obsession, my weight gain, acid reflux, and restrictive diet due to celiac disease, my freakin' smell when I sweat. She loves me for who I am and never gave a rat's backside about any of the other crap. How dare you call her superficial???

Check your attitude. It's horrid. Lose it.


I would like to apologize to both you and your wife for those comments I made as well as my poor attitude. I should've said *most* women are superficial, not lump all of them into that label. When I see what you say about your wife loving you inspite of all those imperfections, it makes me think my problems are so piddley, and that maybe there IS hope for me in the love department.

But like you said, that'll only happen if I drop my negative attitudes and self-bashing.

Thanks for the advice.
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1370
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you're a guy, girls care less about scars on a guy's body than guys do on a girl's. besides, you should see the gashes on my arm and the one on my forehead. well the forehead isn't that bad, it's pretty thin and my hair usually covers it, but the ones on my arm are freaking huge and wide. 18 stitches went into my right arm, and they stretched so now they're quite wide.
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence


Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*hugs*
I know it must be scary, but they wouldn't be lying to you that it's going to heal. It'll just take some time
Until then, get some awesome long shirts Twisted Evil
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1370
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ebec11 wrote:
*hugs*
I know it must be scary, but they wouldn't be lying to you that it's going to heal. It'll just take some time
Until then, get some awesome long shirts Twisted Evil

or just go around with your shirt off and tell them you were in a knife fight
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence


Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

beef_bourito wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
*hugs*
I know it must be scary, but they wouldn't be lying to you that it's going to heal. It'll just take some time
Until then, get some awesome long shirts Twisted Evil

or just go around with your shirt off and tell them you were in a knife fight
Men could get away with that Laughing
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From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead'
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1370
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ebec11 wrote:
beef_bourito wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
*hugs*
I know it must be scary, but they wouldn't be lying to you that it's going to heal. It'll just take some time
Until then, get some awesome long shirts Twisted Evil

or just go around with your shirt off and tell them you were in a knife fight
Men could get away with that Laughing

my problem is that i can never seem to come up with a good enough story for mine, and the knife fight story never seems to fly
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence


Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

beef_bourito wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
beef_bourito wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
*hugs*
I know it must be scary, but they wouldn't be lying to you that it's going to heal. It'll just take some time
Until then, get some awesome long shirts Twisted Evil

or just go around with your shirt off and tell them you were in a knife fight
Men could get away with that Laughing

my problem is that i can never seem to come up with a good enough story for mine, and the knife fight story never seems to fly
Hmm...what about you say you were jumped?
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From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead'
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1370
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i can never come up with a convincing enough story about it, although lately fewer and fewer people have been asking how i got them, they're usually just in shock at the size and then we move on to something else
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence


Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

beef_bourito wrote:
i can never come up with a convincing enough story about it, although lately fewer and fewer people have been asking how i got them, they're usually just in shock at the size and then we move on to something else
I guess practice makes perfect
Where did you get them from though?
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From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead'
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1370
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ebec11 wrote:
beef_bourito wrote:
i can never come up with a convincing enough story about it, although lately fewer and fewer people have been asking how i got them, they're usually just in shock at the size and then we move on to something else
I guess practice makes perfect
Where did you get them from though?

i got jumped by a homeless guy in an alley. he sliced my arm with a broken bottle before i knocked him out. damn crackheads, i had to go on an antibiotic IV for two weeks.
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