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Library_Ann
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 11, 2007
Posts: 29
Location: Haunting the stacks
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 Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:20 pm Post subject: Distrust |
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How do I tactfully let someone know I don't trust him?
My new boss is an overgrown juvenile delinquent: immature, irresponsible and insensitive. He is pathologically unethical, particularly where "following the rules" is concerned. In his previous managerial position, an excellent supervisor took a job halfway across the country just to get away from this jerk.
The problem is that he's totally clueless about why people don't seem to like him.
<i>[Socially inept; hmm, I wonder if he's Aspergian]</i>
Now he's trying really hard to be "nice" and "polite" around me (and I have to admit, he's stopped making devaluing jokes about everyone). He's not sophisticated enough to be manipulative and two-faced, so I have to conclude that he's really trying to be a good manager. But after years of seeing him clearly and consistently acting untrustworthy I will never be able to trust him.
How do I communicate that I will continue to do a professional job, but will never forgive or forget his past? I don't want to follow my instincts to be snarly and confrontational at his efforts to bond, but I really need to set some boundaries and give him at least a hint of why I'm uncomfortable working with him. |
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preludeman
Velociraptor
Joined: May 22, 2007
Age: 38
Posts: 448
Location: In my inner sanctum of solitude.
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject: My Two Cents. |
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I do not think there is a way. Unless you are good friends, and it looks like you are not.
If he makes you uncomfortable then you could speak to someone in HR, or find another department.I hope I have helped.
_________________
Do what you can when you can. I'm also the "alien"they are looking for. |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1435
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject: |
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your appraisal of the situation demonstrates a maturity that he doesnt , (as you have described) have.
there is one mantra i have in life......you can never control what has happened to you, the only thing you can control is how you respond to it.
i guage from your well thought out question that your response will be appropriate regardless of what you actually do.
good luck. |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 50
Posts: 2758
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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| I have a concept of a 'measure of trust'. Can you trust him to do x? then trust him that far. Can he do y? then don't trust that far. hope that helps. |
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Rebecca_L
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 29, 2008
Age: 45
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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You can be wary without actually telling him anything in so many words. Simply be cool and professional. If he actually corners you and wants to know why you don't trust him be honest but try to be tactful. Something like:
"I've watched you for the past X number of years (or months, whatever) and it did not inspire trust. I see that you've made a serious effort to improve, but it will take more time for you to win my trust."
I wouldn't volunteer this, though, unless he actually asks. It could be considered confrontational and would probably be counterproductive to a good work environment. |
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