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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2211
Location: Middle East
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 Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject: How mean is this? |
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I met a girl in an online forum 5 years ago. We started corresponding by email, really deep stuff about our lives, and it went on quite intensively for 4 years. We're grown up women in our forties, sharing about our lives' hardships and moments of happiness. Then one day out of the blue she blocked me and stopped answering my emails. That was almost a year ago. I once called her at home, worried about her, but she answered cheerfully. I hang up.
I'll never understand how people can be so mean. I don't belong in this world, absolutely not. I wouldn't be able to do that to someone after years of closeness, even if I tried.
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KiyokosOnlyOnigiri
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 21, 2008
Posts: 81
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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Agreed. I get a lot of that where I live of girls being nice one day then totally rude the next. Today the girl that called me retarded (I'm autistic, NOT A RETARD!) wanted me to give her a hug. How about that? But she always tells me to shut the (beep) up, so yeah.
The only person that didn't know me in my past and was kind to me I cannot talk to. D:
Which sucks... |
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LabPet
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 1748
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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That hurts. Losing a friend hurts, but 'your friend's' way of dropping you so abruptly is just heartless & manipulative since she didn't even tell you WHY. I think this is deceptive on her part. 4 years is a long time to be friends and I cannot know why she wouldn't have even the courtesy to say good-bye (which would hurt anyway), and her justification for crushing your faith in her. Just a fact: Auties/Aspies are known for their loyalty and honesty. Others can use this against you and seemingly don't care about hurting another's feeling! I am sorry Greentea - really sorry. 
Ironic that neurotypicals tout their emotions and empathy, saying 'our kind' lack in this respect, but is that so? It think not! We don't play their games.
I've had similar versions of this happen - it hurts. I guess I can say....at previous lab there was a girl I thought might like to be my friend but she was NEVER nice to me. The lab manager even spoke to her, twice, about not being discriminatory - she didn't get it. She was very exclusionary, even purposely, towards me. Ok, I accept; I don't need to be her friend but she needs to treat me respectfully at the lab at least - I was always nice, maybe even extra nice.
I kept a really nice lab journal, very elaborate w/ copious notes and drawings of procedure/instrumentation. One day, seemingly at random, she asked if she could borrow my lab journal! I was so flattered. I actually thought she was being nice to me, maybe even considering me as friend.
No. She was just using me as a resource. She would take advantage of me in this way, but I meant nothing to her. She was only polite when she wanted something (which I stupidly mistook as a friendship gesture). Then was just....mean! I heard her gossip about me to her friends too. Ouch.
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same nightmare, different nap
Lab Pet, therapist slayer
Lab Pet's video: Autism is Synonymous with Science: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYelVlA7kDw |
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Cynic
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Age: 34
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: Re: How mean is this? |
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| Greentea wrote: | | Then one day out of the blue she blocked me and stopped answering my emails. |
That is so typical of friends that this no longer surprises me when this happens.
Try not to let it get you down. Just move on and make the best of whatever friends you got cause you never know when they'll disappear. |
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RogueProcess
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 162
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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That's a really horrible thing to have happen 
Unfortunately I find that's one of the pitfalls of socializing on the Internet though. You never know people's true motivations for sure. Also, doing things like that is a lot easier when said person cannot see you in the flesh. |
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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3384
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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How did you find out she blocked you? Did she tell you on the phone?
Yeah it is hurtful when your very best friend blocks you. It happened to me when I was 18 after him and I had been friends for a year. We were talking about weight and then I ask him a question if he is fat and bam he logs off. I figured he lost connection or maybe he had a bad storm there and the power went out. But no I found out a week later he blocked me when he told me in a yahoo group I was "insensitive" so he "blocked" me. I was very hurt he would think of such a thing about me.
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Gifted-Monster
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 13, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 211
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:44 am Post subject: |
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Losing friends hurt.
So make them hurt.
All people are cruel. Fact of life. Best you can do is repay them in spades and be superior to them.
At school, I was never called retarded because people feared me.
But I heard things. Strangely, all the girls seemed to love me and constantly hug me.
Creepy, but nice.
Have you considered Napalm-ing her house, or filling a letter with elemental magnesium and sending it to her, preferably with a trigger to oxidize it?
Incinerate the bitch.
Regards
Ashley
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2211
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: |
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I emailed her and dídn't get a reply, so I emailed again after some time, and again after some time. Then I emailed a fourth time after about 1 year, and that's when my email bounced saying her email address was closed (she used it only to correspond with me, as far as I know).
Funny how these people who disappear without a trace are always those who swear they'll always be there for you, they love you, they care so much about you, blah blah blah.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Kalister1
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 09, 2007
Posts: 2882
Location: California
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:01 am Post subject: |
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I guess everyone gets lonely. I try to character build to not need people; its a tough road.
Good luck!
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pschristmas
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 90
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:04 am Post subject: |
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| LabPet wrote: | | She would take advantage of me in this way, but I meant nothing to her. She was only polite when she wanted something (which I stupidly mistook as a friendship gesture). Then was just....mean! I heard her gossip about me to her friends too. Ouch. |
There's a woman like this at my work. She's very sweet to me when she wants something (or thinks she's about to get into trouble for something) but when she no longer needs my help she's cold and just plain mean. She also pulls aside anyone I've sort of struck up a friendly relationship with and they become cool towards me, too, so I suppose she's talking behind my back. When we first met she used to get very upset because I didn't remember to say hello and goodbye to her. She took it very personally, but I just don't always remember that sort of thing unless I make a special effort - which I do, now. I'm glad we now work in different areas. I only have to see her now and again instead of every day as in the past.
Patricia |
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