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nightbender Phoenix


Joined: Mar 11, 2008 Posts: 677
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Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 4:09 pm Post subject: I spent all night last night crying |
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The emotional pain of forced to take psych drugs, being locked up, being repeated sleep deprived, and lied to manipulated and threatened got to me. i have been finding it hard to get to sleep the last couple days. I fellalseep at 2 last night and didnt get up till 3 this morning. Everytime i try to talk about things that have happened, my parents tell me shut up and go away, and sometimes stuff like," you better make a decisison, theres only so much your father
and i can take so you better decide if you want to live here or not. therapy is going nowhere. I have been using cenitol(magnesium powder) alot to calm my nerves. The naturopathic supplements i take nolonger have the miraculous recouperative power they once did. I cant really tell any more what im thinking or feeling is do to effects of the drugs and what it is that i genuinlinly feel. I am stuck in a dead end. I will not recover so long as im the .5mgs of risperdal however the insomina and and anxiety are terrible when i try to quit and none of my sleep aids affect it any more. I have reallly hate my family for having abused the sh*t out of me and ruined my health and sanity chances at an education, employement and relationships/ Their gonna be taking me to a nueroplasiticity clininc. God i hope it works. |
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Chibi_Neko Want a Cookie

Joined: Oct 24, 2007 Age: 26 Posts: 1274 Location: Newfoundland, Canada
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Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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The last time I cried all night was when my car Snowball died, that was 9 years ago. _________________ Humans are intelligent, but that doesn't make them smart. |
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sunshineboy Emu Egg


Joined: Jul 04, 2008 Posts: 3
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Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm so sorry that you're in this situation; it is criminal that so many of us autistics are given a lifetime of abuse instead of assistance, and then are left with only that abusive family or the streets once we get older. I'm sure that you don't need these drugs or neuroplasticity as much as you do a caring, free environment away from these people that violated your body and ruined your life. I hope either way that you can get away from them. |
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Delirium Phoenix


Joined: Nov 25, 2007 Age: 18 Posts: 682
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:44 am Post subject: |
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Wow. You should really talk to a therapist or social worker about this.
I'm so sorry. I hope you can get through this. _________________ White collar, scared to be bored
Blue collar, she's opening doors |
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MeshGearFox Sea Gull


Joined: Jan 01, 2007 Posts: 230 Location: NYC
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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Hang in there. I went through a horrible bout a couple of years ago. The anxiety and sleeplessness is often the worse. I used anything that worked and got me some sleep. Sleep and exercise everyday does more to help restore me than any pill or therapy.
I can also understand your loss of freedom -- feeling that you're not in full control of your destiny -- is a bad place to be. Things do get better. You will not always be where you are. Courage, my friend. |
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windscar15 Velociraptor


Joined: Feb 17, 2008 Age: 19 Posts: 431 Location: San Jose, California
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Start by laying off the drugs, I don't think that doing that much pharmaceuticals is healthy, given your situation, it can only aggravate it. |
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lithium Snowy Owl


Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Age: 17 Posts: 174 Location: in my mind
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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| windscar15 wrote: | | Start by laying off the drugs, I don't think that doing that much pharmaceuticals is healthy, given your situation, it can only aggravate it. |
i second that, do it step by step, a little bit less every time (might be best to spread it out over a long period of time though) and eventually you wont need them no more, also try finding someone who you can talk too, someone who listens this can help alot _________________ i'm so happy, cuz today i've found my friends, they're in my head |
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nightbender Phoenix


Joined: Mar 11, 2008 Posts: 677
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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thanks, i know i have to get off this stuff i have already gone from 6mgs risperdal to .25mgs
its just the last bit thats the toughest, i also tend to shout when i withdraw wich raises undo attention |
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