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I'm the only one in the world suffering with this sh**
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princess_1989
Blue Jay
Blue Jay


Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:21 pm    Post subject: I'm the only one in the world suffering with this sh** Reply with quote

Mom tells me that its just all inn my head that I shouldn t get a whipping at 18, and that I have to go to senior prom. This is rediculous, no other Aspie goes through this crap at my age. WHen i say that she thinkhs I'm having a "pity party"-but its true, no other Aspie has had to struggle with crap as bad as i have ( whippings, missing senior prom) Is everyone better than me or something? I told my Aunt what happened, she was most angry about me missing prom, and she disagrees with the whipping. Littel did my mom know, I was telling people and compliaing to my friends about it long after SHE told me she didnt want to hear about it. the only reason she tells me to get over it is becuase its easy for het to say because it never happened to her- she wasnt the one missing her senior prom,and gettingf a whipping the age of 18. She has no right to tell me to get over something that really hurt me. She never wants to hear about it- so I hope hse is happy that I'm taking it to the rest of the world! I have so much fun breaking her household items- i love breaking noises- becuase she broke my spirits when she did that- hurting her feelings doesn;t really matter. I used to be remorseful, and sensitive to how i made her feel, but that has made me careless to the point of doing things that she dislikes and laughing about it. I went into a room and had a blast throwing things, breaking things, and reaking all kinds of havoc- little does she know, I drop things on purposem and break things just out of anger that I am the only one that got a whipping at 18, and missed her senior prom over something stupid. Thats just rediculous when even Autistics have it way better than me when it comes to living and being treated like an adult.

If she knew that i was mad about this- that would be her excuse for me not going away to college. I couldnt care less about her fears- other aspies have been independent- so will I.
my sisters should not get mad at me for complainign about the same things time and again- they need to just deal with the aggravation. They have no right to tell me that i get on their nerves complaining about the whipping. It didn;t happen to them, so the least they could do is JUST DEAL WITH IT, i dont care if i give them a headach so big that their head literally pop off- THEY NEED TO DEAL WITH IT BECUASE THEY ARE NOT THE ONES SUFFERING, I AM.

thats how i missed prom, because my sister told mom and dad that i got on her nerves complaining about the wrongful whipping. WELL IT WAS UNFAIR SO I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO COMPLAINN ABOUT IT.

I went to school complaining about it, this girl got angry and cursed me because I told her TO DEAL WITH IT, after all, she doesnt have to go throgh the crap i had to go through. She didnt miss prom, or get a whipping I assume.
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tomboy4good
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 628

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never went to a prom either. Never got asked, nor was I invited to a dance. Some went alone, I didn't go. High school sucked, so did the rest of my education. I wasn't getting whippings at age 18, but I did get my fair share of them until I learned to block my mom's blows. hehehe I think blocking her strike hurt her more than it did me...she just turned around & left. neve got an apology though.

Good luck! I hope you can find a way to move beyond what you are going through. Would love to offer some advice, but it sounds like your life isn't much different from what I experienced. ;-(


Tomboy4good
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JerryHatake
Die Hard Mason Fan


Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 9528
Location: Woodbridge, VA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That does bite, princess_1989. Crying or Very sad I never had it happened if I can recalled but being whipped has never happened to me. Being spanked for misbehaving has happened to me. The matter is that you are very upset and angry towards your mom because of what had happened and you trying to vent it out of your system. That one girl is correct about deal with it but you have vent your emotions out on something else. Clearly you are using WP for this vent which is a very good thing to do because you have to give you support and comfort about this whole incident. If you anyone to talk about this more, feel free to pm me and I help you to the best of my capability.
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asplanet
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 11, 2007
Posts: 1890
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thats just horrendous, its actually illegal to hit children here in NZ now... maybe the adults will hit each other instead!

No really quite often the ignorance and lack of understanding leads to frustration and anger on both sides... if your parents understood you, maybe they could cope better, but you should not of had to deal with there narrow mindedness alone. They should be helping you understand who you are, but unfortunatelly autisim quite often runs in families... and the parents who seem not to cope could quite easily be on the autism spectrum themselves.. and often its there own confussion, frustration and anger at themselves, of feeling at odds in this world which stops them from really seeing and embracing you as the unqique individual you and each of us are.

I can not blame you for being angry, I grow up and hated my mother... in fact it wasn't until she passed away that I started to see parallels within myself and found aspergers and after a life time of confused chados, now understand the world, my mother and how things should of always been. I hope this give you some understanding - Making Sense:
http://asplanet.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=83&Itemid=129

The diagnostic criteria has only been around since 1994 for aspergers so try not to blame others for there misunderstanding, in a way we are the lucky ones for discovering our true selves, many have had to live a life time unaware...
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Cheerlessleader
Serial Thread Killer


Joined: Mar 07, 2007
Posts: 1826
Location: Adelaide

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe your mum subconsciously feels guilty about it but doesn't want to admit it. "I don't want to hear about it" is probably code for "I don't want to admit that I'm not a perfect parent". I agree that what your mum has done was really unfair.
Do you have any counsellors at school or anything you can talk to about this?
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man


Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 3702
Location: the Antipodes

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:05 am    Post subject: Re: I'm the only one in the world suffering with this sh** Reply with quote

princess_1989 wrote:
Mom ...
senior prom.....
college....
whipping ...

In Australia/NZ that's usually
- Mum
- School Formal
- Uni
- Whipping? Confused - do you mean a beating?

Are you sure you are from NZ?
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mouapp
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Mar 21, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 678
Location: probably not WP

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:58 am    Post subject: Re: I'm the only one in the world suffering with this sh** Reply with quote

BazzaMcKenzie wrote:
princess_1989 wrote:
Mom ...
senior prom.....
college....
whipping ...

In Australia/NZ that's usually
- Mum
- School Formal
- Uni
- Whipping? Confused - do you mean a beating?

Are you sure you are from NZ?

second, also if it was a formal why would it come up now, usually they are at the end of the year

also the OP doesn't really make sense, maby this should have been in rants?

but from what you have given us, if your 18 and you dont like your family then you could move out, you are an adult there is nothing they can do to keep you back

NOTE: i deleted the end of my post but if im assuming right about this story then im willing to retype some harsh words concerning the repeated "I'm the only one in the world suffering with this" claim
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Trigger11
Shikamaru Nara


Joined: May 19, 2007
Posts: 7357
Location: Hidden Leaf Village

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Prom is a waste of time.
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asplanet
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 11, 2007
Posts: 1890
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:00 pm    Post subject: Re: I'm the only one in the world suffering with this sh** Reply with quote

BazzaMcKenzie wrote:
princess_1989 wrote:
Mom ...
senior prom.....
college....
whipping ...

In Australia/NZ that's usually
- Mum
- School Formal
- Uni
- Whipping? Confused - do you mean a beating?

Are you sure you are from NZ?


Does any of that matter, being 18 lost, confused and frustrated with ones own mother I can relate and that can be hell. But often if you can both get together and really communicate you just may find your both looking at things differently.

I totally understand bringing up pass wrongs, I use to do that for years - trying to find a reason for my deep pain and sadness. Unlike me I feel your mother is there for you and feel however hard or frustrating it may be, you really need to reach out.

Mouapp I do not agree moving out if possible , as know not always that easy for everyone - Is the answer,. I feel you need some support and help and feel a mediator/councilor would help bring your family closer and give you a understanding of who you are...
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"Believe in your self, we are who we are - as it can feel like an endless task trying to be someone else!" Alyson Bradley ... Aspergers Parallel Planet web site - http://asplanet.info/index.php
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vivreestesperer
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker


Joined: Jun 26, 2004
Posts: 188
Location: Maine/Baltimore

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didnt know anyone still did that, whipping is abuse, plain and simple and should not be tolerated...I realize there might not be a whole lot you can do about it....but it IS abuse
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windscar15
Velociraptor
Velociraptor


Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What is going on in New Zealand?.... Shocked
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sunshineboy
Emu Egg
Emu Egg


Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is not a 'communication problem,' you are 18 and technically an adult; your mother is guilty of assault and battery. 'Whippings,' are a form of physical, emotional, and sometimes even sexual abuse; no one should be subjected to them. You have a right to free movement, to going to proms and being safe from this form of assault. If I were you, I would be reporting your mother to the police; she is a criminal, not someone who you can come to any agreement with after she so blatantly disrespected your body and your feelings and your human rights. If/since spanking/whipping children is illegal in NZ now (I can't wait until it is everywhere,) it is most definitely illegal to do so to someone who is of age. Get away from these sick people as soon as you can.
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Hector
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 1023

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went alone to my equivalent of the prom. It's really not that big a deal in the end, except for the amount of money shelled on a few hours of walking and talking (and maybe dancing).
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable


Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 4190
Location: Pantopia

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never went to the prom, either. No one wanted to go out with "The Spaz" or even be seen talking to me.

My dad used to knock me around quite a bit, as well ... until I turned 18 and literally stood nose-to-nose with him and dared him to hit me again...

"Last chance, old man! My bags are packed and the motor's running, so take your best shot and make it good!"

He just turned away without saying a word. We didn't speak again for a long, long time, and he wouldn't even show up to my college graduation.

So you think you're the first and only Aspie who ever had to put up with his kinda crap? Think again! I turned 18 in 1975!
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pineapple
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: May 01, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 391
Location: san francisco

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate to disagree with someone already going through such a tough time, but trust me on this one: You're not alone. I know that fact doesn't solve your problems, but maybe it can provide a bit of comfort...you're far from the only one.
If your parents hit you, don't stay there one minute longer! Do whatever you can to move out.
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