Recipes that are inappropriate for any Forum....

LabPet · Phoenix Joined: Jan 05, 2007 Posts: 1902 Location: Alaska

These are actual recipes. I added facetious annotations however. Bon Appétit. Recipes do not come with analgesic. Do not try these at home, please. Disclaimer: Lab Pet is not responsible for any domestic disputes as a result of these recipes.

Bologna Cups with Eggs
‘Heart Attack on a Plate’

Cut bologna in thick slices and leave the casing on. Cover bottom of heavy skillet with Crisco and cook the bologna over high heat until slices ‘cup.’ Turn and fill each with raw egg, season.
Cover and cook over medium heat until egg white is firm. Remove casing from bologna cups. Garnish with paprika and parsley. On the hand, why bother?
Note: Recipe can be adjusted to serve any number of guests (who are no longer your friends). A pound of bologna and a dozen eggs will serve a poker table of Good Ole Boys or an entire convention of cardiologists who know better.

Scalloped Liver & Potatoes

Salt, pepper, and flour 1 pound of sliced liver, brown in fat, and cut into segments. Pare and slice several potatoes into a greased baking dish, sprinkle with salt and pepper, add some liver along with a few slices of onion and continue until ingredients are utilized, making the top layer potatoes.
Pour on ~ 1 ½ cups of cream, cover and bake for 1 hour at 360 degrees F. At the last remove the cover and allow potatoes to brown (ie: oxidize).
Note: Rice or pasta may used instead of potatoes. However, the dish would be improved with the omission of the liver. Dinner would be greatly improved by eating out.

Chocolate Prune Whip

1 Cup pureed prunes, sweetened
1 7-ounze package semisweet chocolate, melted
Dash cinnamon
½ Pint heavy cream, whipped

Mix prunes and chocolate, allow to cool. Add cinnamon and fold into whipped cream. Pile into sherbert glasses and chill. Yields enough for 6 people who don’t know a good dessert when they see it. Betty Crocker is playing a trick on you!

Jellied Spam Loaf

Chill Spam in can. Remove carefully to not disturb jellied coating. Serve on platter garnished with stuffed deviled eggs, spiced pears, sliced cucumbers or cabbage slaw. Repress laughter and serve with lots of wine from a cardboard box.

Soya Codfish Cakes

½ pound salt codfish
1 ½ Cups hot seasoned mashed potatoes
½ Cup soya grits mixed with ½ Cup milk
2 eggs, well-beaten (they deserve it)
Flour
Fat for deep-frying

Soak the codfish in cold water to remove some of the salt. Drain and add fresh water, simmer until fish is tender (ie: mushy). Place fish in a double layer of cheesecloth, press out liquid. Shred fish and remove all bones. Or mix in a few to liven up dinner!

Mix the mashed potatoes with the fish, the soya-milk mixture, and beaten eggs. Make into cakes, dip in flour, and fry in fat until the cakes are golden brown on both sides. Yields far too much.

…….For all of the above: Just order pizza and pretend this did not happen

Please let me know if any of you try these - Lab Pet is curious. Think of it as a (anti)social experiment. I had fun compiling these!
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Lab Pet's video: Autism is Synonymous with Science: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYelVlA7kDw