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coltonsmom91
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 31, 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 3:51 am Post subject: How do I explain Polyamory to my son with Asperger? |
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I don't even know if this is the right place to post this, but, here it goes anyway. I have a wonderful 17 year old son with Asperger's. I also have a wonderful husband of 6 years. My husband and I have looked into polyamory and, for us, feel it would be a good thing. Before we even start looking for our "significant other", there is one thing we are concerned about, explaining it to my son. I mean, my son has been exposed to all different types of families (gay, lesbian, trans, etc.). I was in a lesbian relationship before meeting my husband. She was, and still is, his other mom. The only family type he hasn't been exposed to is a polyamorous family. He is very family oriented and very loving and accepting of everyone. We attend a primarily gay and lesbian church and he absolutely loves everyone there! The question is, how do we explain this to him? I mean, we're not going to spring it on him. Any ideas?
Thanks! |
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tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Posts: 1362
Location: currently Paris, France, but originally Asteroid B612
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:40 am Post subject: |
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hmm. i dont know, its difficult to imagine.
its your life, though. whatever my parents do, i think that its their lives and they can do with them anything they like if it doesnt concern me directly. i take it very logically. but, again, i am not very family oriented.
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Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas. |
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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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Joined: May 21, 2008
Posts: 7719
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:15 am Post subject: |
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I would say to him its nothing to think about or that big
of a deal, its a natural thing that people do. It shouldn`t
matter that much, people want to love and be loved.
My last girlfriend had some girlfriends at the same time
as she was with me for a long time, it made her happy
so i saw no problem - jeaolusiy is a selfish thing |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 3084
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| do you normally introduce yourself to new groups in this fashion? |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3853
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:13 am Post subject: Re: How do I explain Polyamory to my son with Asperger? |
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| coltonsmom91 wrote: | The question is, how do we explain this to him? I mean, we're not going to spring it on him. Any ideas?
Thanks! |
umm ...well....bribe him! introduce him to two or three cute girls of the Polyamory group   |
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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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Joined: May 21, 2008
Posts: 7719
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:16 am Post subject: |
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| Postperson wrote: | | do you normally introduce yourself to new groups in this fashion? |
Lighten up, whats the problem |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 3084
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:43 am Post subject: |
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| Are you trying to flame me? |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 9825
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:48 am Post subject: |
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OP, it sounds like the boy has been introduced to too many different things all in a row. I'd be one confused kid if I were him.
Has he ever been taught about what's wrong vs. what's right? Good vs. bad?
I dunno. It's your life, of course. Your decision. But for everyone's sake I hope some sanity and stability comes soon. |
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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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Joined: May 21, 2008
Posts: 7719
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:50 am Post subject: |
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| Postperson wrote: | | Are you trying to flame me? |
No - sorry if it looked like that - never mind |
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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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Joined: May 21, 2008
Posts: 7719
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:54 am Post subject: |
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edit--
this post didn`t help anything and it was
long so i removed it, waste of space -
please ignore
Last edited by ImTheGuyThatDidThat on Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Nan
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 02, 2006
Posts: 3317
Location: left coast
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:02 am Post subject: |
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I'd say nothing until you actually find the person you intend to have join your household. Then I'd just be low-key about it.
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Novinson's Revolutionary Discovery: When comes the revolution, things will be different - not better, just different. |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3853
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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This really isn't an aspie question per se. You've already exposed him to lifestyles far outside the norm without a hitch. Most of us are completely unfamiliar with the polyamorous lifestyle and so would not have the experience to give you meaningful, practical advice.
I'd be more worried that you've gone so far beyond teaching him tolerance and acceptance that he now sees all these lifestyles as more normal than heterosexuality and so might put people off by his highly unrealistic (optimistic, you might prefer) understanding of society: "What? You're not gay? I thought practically everyone was!" Or "Yeah, I'm gay! [but he only goes for women sexually/romantically]" |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 9825
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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| How does polyamory work? Is it like a harem with everyone of equal status as opposed to the Arab harem where the man "owns" all the women? |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3853
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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| ^ it's just a synonym of open relationship |
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Flismflop
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 17, 2007
Posts: 872
Location: DC metro area suburbs, USA.
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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"Polyamory"? Can someone give some examples that I might recognise?
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